


Redemption (Zuko Love Story)

by Cheshire_Shiki, cнєѕнιяє (Cheshire_Shiki)



Series: Redemption [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Childhood Memories, F/M, Fake Character Death, Friendship/Love, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Implied/Referenced Character Death, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:28:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 67,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24733912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheshire_Shiki/pseuds/Cheshire_Shiki, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheshire_Shiki/pseuds/c%D0%BD%D1%94%D1%95%D0%BD%CE%B9%D1%8F%D1%94
Summary: It's been two years since Zuko's best friend died, but rumors of a spirit matching her description continue to protect the Earth Nation from the Fire Nation. When Zuko is faced with the reality that his best friend-his first love- is doing everything she can to protect the avatar from him, what is he supposed to do? How can he bring home a dead person who wants nothing to do with him?
Relationships: Zuko (Avatar)/Original Female Character(s), Zuko (Avatar)/Reader
Series: Redemption [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1788457
Comments: 57
Kudos: 311





	1. Chapter 1

“We shouldn’t stay too long, Zuko could show up any minute and-” 

“Don’t worry, Sokka! It’ll take him a long time to get through the forest we flew over!” Aang grinned before digging into the seaweed wraps made by the village chief’s wife. After helping Haru’s village rise up against the Fire Nation, the trio was left exhausted and low on supplies. Through a dense forest, Katara had spotted smoke from a campfire up ahead and that’s how they discovered this little village in the Earth Kingdom. 

Sokka’s eyes widened at the food, “Is the ocean close by? Where do you guys get seaweed?!?! Guys, we need to go! If this is a coastal village then-” 

“We have trade with a coastal village at a considerable distance.” The chief admitted, “But there’s no need to worry about the Fire Nation in these parts, not as long as the Red Fox is around.” 

“The Red Fox?” Katara asked.

The chief smiled, his hand pointing to a hanging scroll of a person in a red fox mask. Framing the mask was long, curly, black hair, a small bun gently gathered at the top of the person’s head. The painting only depicted the top half of the person, but a golden choker and a hint of red armor made it to the painting. It was issued by the Fire Nation, but it wasn’t a wanted poster. It was a cautionary one. 

“Who’s the Red Fox? Why is the Fire Nation so scared of them?” Aang asked, mid bite. 

* * *

“Xia?” Seiko called from the inside of her hut. The older brown haired woman picked up one more book, adding it to the small pile of books near the door. Her ears picked up on the sound of fast paced footsteps before the door flew open, and black eyes scanned the room for threats. 

“Did you need something, Mrs. Seiko?” Xia asked as her shoulders slumping in relief.

The older woman smiled, “Suzu wanted to have more of his villagers learn about healing. Since I won’t be able to visit until next week, I wanted to give his village some of my old healing books so they can study up before I visit. Would you deliver those and some crab puffs to him?” 

With a nod, Xia made her way to the red dress and matching armor in the corner of the  hut, and even after two years a faint tug seized her heart and memories of a different life emerged. 

* * *

_ “Why do you even have to go if you aren’t even fighting? This is so stupid and dangerous!” Zuko yelled, throwing his hands up as he turned away from his best friend. _

_ A frown graced Xia’s face, “Zuko, how can I be like my mother if I don’t go? She was one of our nation’s greatest generals, if I want to be just as great as her then I have to see the war from the front lines and understand our strategies.” Her protest was met with an exasperated look.  _

_ “You can get better by staying here, continuing your training, and learning about what strategies have worked and what hasn’t. Besides, I heard the other generals talking. They said you learn quickly and-” _

_ “Zuko, this is the biggest mission my father has been given since my mother’s death, I need to be by his side.” Xia huffed, crossing her arms and frowning up at her best friend.  _

_ At the softening look in his golden eyes, Xia knew she won. “Just be careful, okay? Don’t do anything risky.” He sighed, sitting on the grass in front of her. _

_ “I can’t be safe forever, Zuko,” Xia said with a gentle smile, “When I become a general, it’s my job to do what I can for the Fire Nation’s victory. It’s my job to die for-” _

_ “Don’t even finish that sentence. Your life is just as important as anyone else’s!” Zuko yelled, “You’ll help more people if you live another day and come back to me. I’d rather have you come home as a loser, than dead as a winner.” _

_ At the sight of tears in his eyes, Xia kneeled in front of him and pulled him in a tight hug, a hand gently running through his dark hair. “You’re working yourself over something that isn’t even a risk yet, breathe.”  _

_ A few moments of silence passed before Zuko pulled away and held her by the shoulders, “Xia, when I become the Fire Lord, you’ll never have to fight in the front lines again. I’ll do everything to keep you safe.”  _

_ With a head tilt and a smile, light laughter left Xia, “Whatever you say, Zuzu. Now, do you want to see the invasion plans or not?” _

_ With a sigh, Zuko nodded, watching as she unfurled a scroll map and pulled out red pieces representing the Fire Nation troops and green pieces representing the Earth Kingdom warriors. Xia watched as relief flooded his face as she pointed out that she would be at a clifftop, far from any of the conflict and with a vantage point to watch the strategy unfold.  _

_ “The conflict will push their warriors and villagers to this tree line of a deep forest. There they’ll decide whether to keep running or to serve the Fire Nation, but either way Shú Huí will become the Fire Nation’s.” _

* * *

A smile pulled at the irony of the memory before Xia strapped the final piece of her armor- a black fox mask. 

“If Suzu asks you to stay for the night, don’t feel like you have to say no.I don’t think there’s anything else I’ll have you do today. Stay safe, Xia.” Seiko smiled, “I packed you bean curd tarts, don’t share them because I only packed enough for you.”

“Thanks, Miss Seiko, don’t worry about me.” Xia smiled behind the mask before collecting the books and food. 

Seiko smiled sadly, watching as the black haired warrior broke into a jog, if she didn’t worry about Xia, who would?

* * *

_ The crown prince pulled away, glancing at the girl from head to toe. Golden choker glittering in the sun, red colored armor brightened with gold trimming, completed with a red belt and a gold clasp. The flaps of the dress blew gently in the breeze and even as his best friend looked up at him with a grin, Zuko still felt worry tug at his heart. For a moment, he wasn’t sure if he was looking at Xia, her outfit was styled exactly after her mother’s. He tried not to think about how her mother had died in that same outfit on a battlefield in the Earth Kingdom. _

_ “Take care, okay?” Xia reminded, before hugging him tightly. _

_ “Whatever you do, just stay safe.” Zuko mumbled, hugging her back. _

_ “Prince Zuko, thank you for seeing us off! I hope to see you again as a victor.” General Arjun, Xia’s father smiled as Xia pulled away. _

_ “General Arjun, I know we’ll see you as a victor, the Fire Nation is lucky to have you for a general. Until we meet again.” Zuko nodded, shaking the general’s hand.  _

_ “We’ll be quick! Xia, it’s time we take our leave.” General Arjun grinned, squeezing the top knot of his daughter’s hair before bowing and turning away from the royal palace and beginning to take long strides. _

_ “Bye, Zuko! See you soon!” Xia smiled, waving over her shoulder. _

_ With a soft smile, Zuko waved back and watched until he couldn’t see her anymore.  _

“You were wrong.” Zuko muttered, his scowl deepening as his eyes caught sight of a tall cliff above the city. “It’s been two years since I’ve last seen you, that doesn’t really count for soon in anyone’s books.”

Zuko could’ve swore he heard her gentle laugh in the wind. 

* * *

“Are they a fox? A human? Both?” Sokka wondered.

Before Katara could shoot back that the image was someone wearing a mask, Chief Suzu jumped in. 

“If I tell you, can you keep a secret?” The chief waged, a smirk gracing his face as the avatar and his friends nodded eagerly. “You’ll hear this story change the further you get from the village, but I was there the day this story was born. Very few people know the truth, and I’ll tell you all of it.”

“Get on with it!” Sokka cheered.

The chief’s face became grim, “One of the greatest secrets of the Earth Kingdom began in a small coastal village called  Shú Huí.”


	2. Chapter 2

_Italics indicate Xia's memories_

**The chief’s face became grim, “One of the greatest secrets of the Earth Kingdom began in a small coastal village called Shú Huí.”**

  
  
“It was small and not the most developed, but Shú Huí served as a bustling hub for merchants and traders. When the Fire Nation discovered the Earth Kingdom was building a training ground for troops, they decided it was absolutely necessary to take control of the city before the Earth Kingdom could bolster the city’s strength.” Chief Suzu explained, “In charge of the attack was one of the Firelord’s most trusted generals. General Arjun.”

* * *

  
  


_ “No matter what happens, do not leave that clifftop. It’s the safest place you can be on the battlefield.” General Arjun stressed, allowing his amber eyes to pierce his only daughter’s black ones. They peered up at him with full trust and the general’s heart twinged with pride. She looked like the perfect Fire Nation general, she looked like her mother. _

_ “I know, I know, because there’s no reason for anyone to go to the clifftop.” Xia replied with an excited smile, “I promise, Dad- I mean General Arjun, I’ll follow your orders!” _

_ The general couldn’t help the way his lips twitched into a slight smile. Damn his reputation and formalities, this was his daughter’s first time on the front lines. General Arjun allowed the small smile to widen before pulling his daughter into a hug, a large hand gently patting her head as she hugged back. “You may see things that make you want to cry, but I know if there’s anyone in the world who can handle anything- it’s my daughter.” _

* * *

“It would be his first battle since his wife, General Lijuan, died. His thirteen year old daughter, Xia, was meant to take her place. To help her bolster her training, he decided to take her with him to the attack on Shú Huí.” Chief Suzu continued.

“He let a child go with him to war?” Katara asked in shock.

“Dad never let me go with him to war.” Sokka grumbled

Chief Suzu nodded grimly, “Arjun wouldn’t let her directly into the conflict, he ordered her to stand on the highest cliff so she could watch the strategy in action.”

* * *

  
  
  


_ The words of praise rang through Xia’s head as she weaved through Shú Huí’s streets. It was chaos as her father’s troops marched through, burning builds, and kicking down merchant stalls. Her foot stumbled on a fallen cabbage as she heard someone nearby crying for help. Xia paused only for a minute before running to the source of the sound. _

_ Underneath the wood of what had been a house, was a young boy. Next to him was his mother desperately trying to lift a large piece of wood that was pinning the boy down, her hands bleeding. She felt her chest tighten and nausea erupt. Ignoring her father’s warnings, Xia rushed towards them, watching as the boy’s eyes filled with fear and his screaming intensified.  _

_ “Please! Don’t hurt him! He’s only a child!” His mother sobbed, stepping in front of the injured boy.  _

_ “I won’t hurt anyone, I’ll lift this piece but you need to pull your son out as fast as you can.” Xia instructed, grabbing the blood slicked wood. “Now.” Xia instructed, quickly lifting, arms shaking under the effort as the mother pulled her son out. Xia’s eyes ignored the surprise on their faces and narrowed on the injuries on the boy’s legs. “You’ll be safe if you run to the forest, there’s a path that leads to a neighboring village. Your son can get medical attention. I’ll carry him to the tree line but from there you two will need to follow the other refugees.” Xia explained. _

_ At the mother’s wordless nod, Xia picked up the young boy before running, the mother right at her heels. “Do you know where you’re going?” The mother called over the sounds of the battle. _

_ “My father is the general, I had to memorize the map. I’m really sorry about all of this.” Xia admitted, feeling her guilt rise at the destruction. Up ahead she saw a large group of people in front of a fallen building blocking the path to the forest. She watched as children cried while people began to scale the debris. _

_ As she got closer, she could hear the crowd more clearly. _

_ “The soldiers purposely toppled buildings leading to the forest!” _

_ “They’ll make us into slaves!” _

_ “Climb faster!!” _

_ Xia felt fear flood her as she realized there was no way everyone could escape in time like this.  _

* * *

“When Xia saw the realities of war, she felt guilty. So she saved people before going to the cliff and used her fire bending to clear pathways so the people could escape the Fire Nation’s clutches.”

* * *

_ People passing through the cleared pathway thanked her even as fear flooded their eyes while they ran by. A firm hand grabbed her arm and an older brown haired woman looked down at her, “The other pathways are blocked off. If I lead you to them, can you clear them out?”  _

_ “Absolutely. Let’s go!” Xia agreed, following the woman down city streets.  _

_ “Seiko, run! That soldier is-” _

_ “She’s a friend of ours, Ngoc!! She’s clearing the blocked pathways,focus on helping the stragglers!” The older woman ordered as Xia cleared another street. The fleeing villagers cheered but the man who had spoken to Seiko looked skeptic. Dark brown eyes glaring suspiciously as he ran a hand through his brown hair. “Ngoc, go!” Seiko ordered, as she beckoned Xia to follow.  _

_ After clearing the last pathway, the woman smiled down at Xia. “Thank you for your help, are you venturing with us?”  _

_ “I can’t. My father is the general leading this attack, he would do anything to find me if I disappeared.” Xia sighed, “My allegiance is to the Fire Nation, but I hate seeing people get hurt.” _

_ “Then you’ll spend your life sad if you stand with your nation,” Seiko said with a sad smile, “If we meet in better circumstances, I’d like to feed you dinner.”  _

_ “I look forward to it.” Xia laughed, waving goodbye before running. She had to get to the cliff, before her father found out she wandered. _

* * *

“She went against the Fire Nation?” Sokka asked, dropping his bowl of food.

“I don’t understand, if she knew what the Fire Nationwas wrong, why wouldn’t she escape with the rest of Shú Huí?” Aang asked. 

“I don’t know. Only Xia would know the answer to that.” Chief Suzu said with a cryptic smile.

* * *

_ Xia couldn’t help how sad it made her to see a beautiful city burning to flames. She didn’t want to think of how many lives were lost at her father’s hands. She kept asking herself, was this truly her fate? Was this really the path her parents chose? Was this what her mother died for? Why? _

_ She turned her back on the carnage, shaking as she wrapped her arms around herself. Her eyes watching violent waves crashing the rocky shores below. Tears rushed to her eyes, so she shut them tightly. The lull of the waves below slowly covered the sounds of raging fires and soon, there was nothing.  _

* * *

Zuko’s heart stopped when he realized there was a figure at the top of the cliff. One with a topknot perched atop its head. “Xia!” He yelled, running from the docks towards the clip.

“Zuko! Wait!” He heard his uncle Iroh call as he raced away. He ignored the screams of panic from the people. They parted the way easily as his golden eyes landed on the path leading up to the cliff. Behind him, he heard his uncle reassuring the people that they wouldn’t harm their village. Zuko didn’t slow, skipping rocky stairsteps as he got closer and closer to the top. 

When he finally reached the top, his heart dropped. His breath caught in his throat as he moved closer to the figure, his fists trembling in anger. Tears rushed to his eyes as they met the stone statue’s unseeing eyes. He hates how well made the statue is because it’s  _ exactly  _ as Zuko remembers her on the day she disappeared from his life. The detail in her war dress and armor, the genuine smile, the gentle curve of her eye, and even the messy way she preferred her hair. The statue's hands are slightly outstretched with palms facing upwards, as if accepting a present. 

Zuko hates it. He hates it so much. He hates it because he can hear her voice so clearly and it almost feels like she’s right there with him. Yet..he loves the statue for all the same reasons and more. Someone loved his best friend so much that they made a statue in her honor. Almost all the grief evaporates for a moment, because if there’s anyone who deserves the best, it’s her. 

He doesn’t know how long he’s there. It’s only when he feels a heavy hand on his shoulder and hears his uncle trying to catch his breath, that his eyes drift away from the statue. “It looks exactly like her.” Zuko says quietly. 

He sees a soft look cross his uncle’s face as he admires the statue for a few moments before pulling something from the pocket of his robes. “Down at the market, there was someone selling a lotus tile, I bought it for the sake of having extra...but it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t give it to her, how else could she properly win over the other spirits?” Uncle Iroh said, before gently placing the lotus tile into the hands of the statue.

Zuko’s heart twinged and his shoulders dropped. His uncle had given her something so valuable to him...and Zuko had nothing he could give. His hands quickly drifted to the fire nation money in his pocket. “I know it’s not much, but you could use it to buy fire flakes when you’re ready to come home.” Zuko explained, carefully placing the money on top of the pai sho tile. 

“Speaking of fire flakes, I think it’s time we go back to our ship and eat dinner!” Uncle Iroh suggested.

Taking one last look at his best friend’s caring eyes, Zuko nodded and followed his uncle down from the cliff. 

* * *

“Some say it’s the wind, some say it was the guilt, and some say a soldier punished her for her betrayal- the story changes depending on who tells it... but two things are certain.” Chief Suzu said, eyes drifting to the tea cup in hand, “The first: at the bottom of the cliff, jagged rocks stab through the sea and the waters there are violent. The second: at the end of the battle, General Arjun watched her fall off the cliff.”

“No one knows how she fell?” Aang asked.

“I think I know, but mine is just one of many theories. Not that it matters, because a fall like that could kill someone.” Chief Suzu sighed sadly, “A day after she fell, a spirit wearing a fox mask emerged. It wears Xia’s armor and even styles its hair the same way she did on the day of the invasion. It stopped the Fire Nation from setting up a base at Shú Huí and protects this region from any attacks on the Fire Nation. We call it the Red Fox, and to this day, it continues to bring protection to the people and-”

Chief Suzu was cut off as the door violently slammed open. Sokka screamed and Katara and Aang’s face morphed into fear.

Standing in the doorway holding a bag was a woman with long black hair, red armor, and a black fox mask. 

  
  


A/n: Sorry this chapter is so long, I got carried away! Thank you so much for reading and all the support/love I’ve been getting these past few days


	3. Chapter 3

“You’re real!” Sokka yelped, scrambling backwards as the masked figure gently tilted their head, long black curls gently bobbing.

“Have you been telling stories about me again?” The girl’s voice spoke from behind the mask, her tone exasperated as she crossed her arms. 

Chief Suzu laughed, “Oh great Red Fox spirit! I tremble before thee, what can this humble servant do for-”

“Seiko, wanted me to bring you these books on healing and crab cakes.” The girl cut in, striding into the house and placing the bag in the corner of the room and taking a small basket of crab cakes out. 

Aang’s eyes widened as the girl leaned over his shoulder while putting the basket of crab cakes in the middle of the table. “You’re warm!” He exclaimed, “I didn’t know spirits could be warm!”

The table watched as the Red Fox’s head snapped to Chief Suzu at the head of the table, a sheepish expression on his face. 

“Chief Suzu...did you tell more people that I’m dead? This is literally the fourth time this month and-”

“Why don’t you sit down, eat, and sleep here? The journey to Shú Huí is timely and the sun is setting.” Chief Suzu offered with a laugh. 

The Red Fox sighed and sat across from Katara. The trio watched eagerly as she reached behind her head and untied the red ribbon holding the mask at the back of her head. Black eyes went to Suzu disapprovingly. 

“The greatest secret isn’t that you protect this region...it’s that you’re alive.” Katara said, finally understanding the hidden meaning of Chief Suzu’s words. 

“So was everything else in that story a lie? Are you really from the Fire Nation? Did you save the people of Shú Huí? Ddi you really fall off the cliff? Are you even a fire bender?” Sokka interrogated, pointing an accusatory finger at the girl gathering food on her plate. 

Tired eyes glanced up at the eccentric blue eyed boy and the girl flicked a spark of flame onto his sleeve. Unimpressed black eyes watched him as he panicked, “As dramatic as Chief Suzu tells the story, it’s true. Conveniently, he leaves out the most important detail.” 

* * *

_ “You disgust me.” A voice echoed behind her. _

_ Xia’s eyes quickly snapped up from the view of the raging waters below, turning to see one of the city’s warriors glaring fiercely, was his name Ngoc? _

_ “You should leave. The siege is over, my father will be here soon.” Xia urged, pointing a finger to the tree line in the distance. _

_ The soldier laughed, cold brown eyes boring into hers, “I don’t take orders from, ash makers.” _

_ He lunged at her with a knife drawn, out of instinct she sidestepped and watched in horror as he stumbled at the cliff’s edge. Her hand shot out, quickly grabbing his wrist and pulling him back. “Fighting me won’t do you any good, you need to escape while you still can.” She said gently.  _

_ Hateful eyes turned to her, he turned from the cliff, yanking her towards him and wrapping an arm around her waist. Xia struggled until the other hand pressed the knife to her neck in warning.  _

_ “Your father took something from me, it’s only fair I take something from him.” The bitter voice spoke so close to her ear, and tears rushed to her eyes as reality sunk in. _

_ She was only 13 and her entire life would end here. She’d never see her father again...her home...she’d never see Zuko. Oh god Zuko. She promised she’d be back soon. She promised she’d be safe. _

_ “Please, I never even got to say goodbye to-” _

_ “Well now is your chance.” Ngoc laughed as she noticed her father and some of his men racing up the cliff.  _

_ Even through her tears she could see the horror on her father’s face. “She’s not who you want. She’s only a child. Let her go.” His tone wavered and that’s when Xia realized...even he couldn’t save her.  _

_ “This city was filled with innocent children. How many of their lives have you ruined today, General?” Ngoc bit back. _

_ “I’ll give my life for hers. I swear I’ll jump off this cliff now if it means you’ll-” _

_ “The only thing that will bring me joy is your suffering. Death is a mercy, be thankful I’m so kind to your daughter.” Ngoc laughed. _

_ Xia watched her world spin and her stomach flip, she reached out a desperate hand and watched as her father dived for it. Their fingers just barely touched as Ngoc tipped himself and her off the edge of the cliff. Xia cried out and shut her eyes.  _

* * *

  
  


“Before we could hit the jagged rocks at the bottom, Ngoc bended a ledge from the side of the cliff and threw me into a secret tunnel. He then closed off the tunnel and gave me a choice. To jump off the ledge or follow him.” Xia explained with a sad smile.

“He led her to this village where refugees of Shú Huí stayed. Ngoc promised he’d let her leave if she liberated Shú Huí from the Fire Nation. Chief Suzu explained.

“I was so desperate to go home, I made a black fox mask and pretended to be a spirit and kept raising chaos on the Fire Nation’s troops until they truly feared me and felt they couldn’t win against a spirit.” Xia said with a bitter smile, “A few days later, they surrendered the city and never returned. But my fate was sealed, if I returned home I’d be a traitor, thrown into jail, bringing the ultimate dishonor to my family. So I stayed and now I protect this region the best I can.” 

“I’m really sorry.” Aang said quietly.

“Don’t be. My happiness is a small sacrifice to protecting a small corner of the world from the Fire Nation.” Xia assured.

“Still, that seems like a pretty terrible way to repay someone who just saved your people.” Sokka snorted. 

“I live with a nice healer named Seiko, she always makes me dinner and she’s like an older sister to me...I’m happy here, even if I miss home.” Xia explained, before digging into dinner.

“I never thought I’d meet someone who missed the Fire Nation.” Katara snorted.

“There’s a lot to love, but I understand if it’s hard to sympathize. I know it's taken away so much from the world.” Xia spoke sympathetically. “Enough about me, I’d love to know more about you guys!”

Dinner improved, the conversation becoming lighthearted. The trio explained who they were and how the Fire Nation was chasing them and Xia’s eyes widened.

“It’s only a matter of time before they get here, if we’re lucky they’ll wait until the morning. You three should be packed and ready to leave at the drop of a rock, I’ll guard this village tonight and ensure the Fire Nation isn’t on your tail when you leave tomorrow.”

  
  


A mix of anxiety and hope flooded her as she guarded the perimeter that night. On one hand, she knew the avatar would be the world’s chance at ending the war. On the other, she didn’t want to think of how her best friend would be dragged into the war and what would happen to him after. 

She wondered what he looked like. Had he changed much in these past few years? Did he think of her as often as she thought of him? Was he still dating Mai? Was he happy? Xia’s heart twisted in worry. But...at least he was safe in a capital city, far from the realities of war...of the harm their nation wrought through the world. 

She’s pulled out of her musings by a rustle in a nearby bush and she immediately draws a flame in her hands and watches the bush with sharp eyes. 

“It’s just me, Xia.” Aang’s voice said softly as he stumbled over the bush.

“Couldn’t sleep?” She asked gently, immediately extinguishing the flames and peering down at him from his mask.

Aang shook his head, gray eyes drifting to the clothed holes of her mask. “Do you feel scared being forced to be someone you don’t want to be?” 

Her heart twinged and she removed her mask, a small but worried smile on her face. “I’m not being anyone except myself, I do wish I didn’t have to pretend to be dead, and there are days I’m scared I won’t be enough.”  _ I wish I could see Zuko.  _

“How do you deal with it? How do you not drown in it? How do you wake up with the weight of the world on your should-”

Xia doesn’t hesitate to hug the young boy, feeling his shoulders tremble as he vibrates with tension. “I know it’s not easy being thrust into a world you don’t understand in a role you’re not sure you’re playing right.” She begins, “We’re both cleaning the messes of our past selves, not really sure if we’re clean enough to be qualified. But... we have no choice. The only thing we can do is rise with the sun, keep marching, and be the best versions of ourselves we can be.”

“What if the best version of myself isn’t enough?” There’s a quietness and tremble in his voice that reminds her that this isn't’ just the avatar. This is a child who has lost so much and has been given an impossible task. 

* * *

_ “I’m only a child! How can I fight off a whole army on my own?” Xia asks through choked sobs while Ngoc glares down at her. _

_ “That’s for you to prove. You can die trying or you can die here.” Ngoc threatened.  _

* * *

  
  


“It will be. You are enough, Aang.” She reassures, pulling away to gently grab his face and smile down at him.

The smile is small but there’s hope in his eyes and he stopped shaking. 

The world had suffered by the warlord’s of her nation, and at one point it was her destiny to follow the path of a general. But as she walked the avatar back to the house, she couldn’t imagine ever going down that path.

A great general once told her that their people had desire, will, and the energy and drive to achieve what they want. Xia knew what she wanted. 

More than she wanted to go home, she wanted a free peaceful world so that nothing would ever hurt Zuko when he became a leader.

For Zuko, she would help the avatar to her last breath...maybe then they could be together again.

* * *

At the bottom of the ship in his room, Prince Zuko lay awake glaring. A frustrated groan left him and he angrily put on his clothes before marching out of his room and from the boat. Not stopping as the night air chilled him, he didn’t stop until he reached her statue. 

His eyes widened when he saw that his Fire Nation money and the lotus tile were gone before a small smile tugged at his lips. “You never did like to waste time.” He spoke, “I always had to drag you away from your studies... but you always let me. You followed me everywhere I went and...I could never thank you enough for it.” 

* * *

_ “It’s one of the best parties hosted at the Fire Palace! How could you miss it?” Zuko yelled as his best friend peered up at him sympathetically. Even at 10 years old, his temper is a raging fire that he can’t control very well.  _

_ “I know, that’s why you can have fun for both of us.” Xia smiled, as she wove daisies together. _

_ Zuko flopped back onto the grass with a groan, “It’s hard to have fun when my best friend isn’t there.”  _

_ “I heard Mai will be there.” The girl teased. _

_ “It’s not the same!” Zuko snapped. _

_ “I want to be there for my parents when they arrive, this was an important battle! I need to hear all the details and see what parts of their strategy didn’t work. How can I be a great general if-” _

_ “Great generals can go to parties and have fun! My Uncle Iroh said that just as important as hard work is fun.” Zuko huffed, sitting up and glaring at Xia.  _

_ “I have fun every day I’m with you. We could spend a whole day watching turtle ducks and I’d still be having the time of my life,” Xia said with a serious look, “but if I want to earn a spot as a general I need to work hard. That means missing one of many parties the Fire Palace holds.” _

_ Zuko only pouted as his best friend finished the daisy crown and placed it on top of his head.  _

_ “We’ll hang out tomorrow, you can tell me all about the party! It’s almost sunset, we should both get going!” Xia proclaimed, standing up and stretching before extending a hand to Zuko. “I need to get to the docks, and you need to get ready!”  _

_ Zuko accepted the hand with a sigh. “Fine. I’ll meet you at the palace gardens.”  _

_ “See you then! Have fun, Zuzu!” Xia smiled, before walking away with a wave. _

_ In that moment...he wanted to follow her. But even at only 10 years old, destiny and duty had other plans. He was the grandson of Azulon and a member of the royal family, destined to live a lavish life in the nation his family ruled. She was Xia, daughter of Generals Arjun and Lijuan, destined to serve the nation until her final breath.  _

_ The bitter thought followed him even at the party as Azula annoyed him and Mai flirted with him. It was then he realized, he wanted her near him. Even if it meant waiting on the docks late at night as the wind chilled them. He could be happy for the rest of his life if Xia was at his side. _

* * *

  
  


He stood shoulder to shoulder with the statue, facing out towards the moonlit ocean. “I wish I could follow you wherever you went, I’d follow you to the end of the Earth and the bottom of the sea if you asked me. But I can’t. Not until I find the avatar.” He moves back to the front of the statue falling to one knee and looking up at her, “It’s the only way my father will take me back. I’ve brought dishonor to him and our nation, finding the avatar is the only way I can restore it. Please understand, please wait for me.” He’s begging now, looking up at her pleading. 

Only the sound of tide echoes through his ears..and Zuko had never felt more alone than he did now. “I hope this scar doesn’t bother you so much now. It’s a part of who I am, it defines me and-” He stops, because he realizes she has no idea what happened after she left. He’s not sure if he’s ready to hear it because he wants nothing more than to be everything she wanted for him. He doesn’t want to be someone she hates or can’t look at because if his best friend hated him, how could he move on? How could he-no. His best friend couldn’t hate him. His best friend was dead. This was a statue. So for Agni’s sake why was he crying?

“I know you’re busy, you always have been,” Zuko says shakily, “but I’d do anything if it meant having you by my side again.” He hopes she hears him.

A/n: This was super long, I'm really glad you made it this far. Thank you so much for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pictured is how I envision Xia

“You could come with us! You can teach me how to fire bend!” Aang says excitedly as they pack up things onto their flying bison. 

The gleam in his eyes and the smiles on Sokka and Katara’s faces almost get her. She wants to go. She wants to see the rest of the world unscarred by her nation. She wants to collect stories she can tell Zuko, so if they travelled the world together she could-she stops herself from dreaming when she remembers her duties. 

“One day, I will. But since the Fire Nation is on your tail, it’s only a matter of time until they check this village, I need to stay here and fight.” Xia explains, “But when our paths cross again, I’ll teach you everything I know, at least until we find you a master bender.”

“Will you wait for us here?” Katara asked.

Xia shook her head, “Seiko and I have been preparing to leave and help refugees. The Earth Kingdom is setting up troops in Shú Huí, so I won’t be needed as much. Destiny works in mysterious ways, this won’t be the last time we see each other.” 

Before Aang could say anything, the scout returns to the middle of the village. “They’re approaching on ostrich horses! They’re descending the hill from the forest now!” 

With a nod, Xia slips on the mask. “I’ll hold them off, go now!” She says.

“Next time we see each other, I’ll teach you how to use my boomerang!” Sokka calls.

“I’ll hold you to it!” Xia laughs as she runs. 

Anxiety clenches her heart in a way that only happens when she’s forced to fight her own people. Two years ago she was training alongside them and brainstorming ways she could earn her future troop’s respect. Back then, it was so easy to believe she could be the general her nation needed. Hardworking, determined, strategic, inspiring, she had spent her life cultivating herself to be a model general. It had been so easy to imagine victory when she hadn’t seen the other side. It was so easy to bend fire when you didn’t see what burned. 

Pushing down the fear, Xia stood at the village entrance. At that moment, the world rested on her shoulders. 

* * *

“She’s real!” One of his soldiers yelp as they get closer to the village. 

“Prince Zuko, we should turn back! That’s the Red Fox!” 

“We aren’t turning back!” Zuko snaps, even as his heart races. He should’ve known she’d be here. They weren’t far from where she died and he knew her spirit wandered, how else did those stories travel so far? 

Before they could get closer he watches the spirit bend flames and slash them towards their ostrich horses. He hears the animals panic and quickly jumps as his runs away. He groans as he sees that 2 of his men are thrown off their horse and the other 2 are desperately getting control of the screaming beasts as it carries them off  _ in the opposite direction. _

Zuko glares at the spirit, “You’re supposed to be on my side.” He yells. 

10 feet away, the spirit only points to the forest they came from. 

“I think it wants us to leave.” One of his men said fearfully. 

Zuko only yells and launches a ball of flames at it, he watches as it quickly takes the flame and redirects it to his men. They scatter and one by one run away, leaving Zuko to face the spirit of his best friend.

* * *

Xia can’t help but smirk under the mask. The soldier with the scar on the left side of his face is brave. His posse was sent running at the idea of facing a ghost...and he stayed. 

“I should’ve known you wouldn’t recognize me.” He said bitterly.

Xia is confident they’d never met. She would remember someone with a burn that huge. How does a fire bender even get burned? It was a bit embarrassing really. She cocks her head curiously, racking her head for anyone she’d met who was clumsy with fire.

“It looks like we’ve both changed a lot in two years.” The soldier says stepping closer to her, they’re only a few feet away now. 

From under the mask her eyes meet his and she feels all the breath leave her. There’s a look in his eyes, one that wasn’t there when they were younger. Her heart twinges because his eyes used to be so clear and golden with notes of hope. They were nothing like the ones on the soldier that stood before her, narrowed into a glare and murky with so much anger. She can hardly see his left eye underneath the red that scars his face and the deepest hurt hits her then because  _ someone hurt her best friend. _

She lowers her hand as cold dread hits her. How could she fight him? How could she fight the person who means the world to her? How could she fight someone she wants to protect with her life? She had been happy, believing Zuko was at the Fire Palace miles away from the war their nation waged. Now they stood face to face, at the front lines of war on opposing sides.

“It’s my destiny to catch the avatar for the Fire Nation, it’s the only way I can come back home. We can work together to catch the avatar and then we can find a way to bring your spirit back to the Fire Nation.” Zuko says coldly. It wasn’t a request, she realized, it was a demand.

“This isn’t your destiny, Zuko, do you realize what will happen if you bring the avatar back to your father?” She asks softly, she sees surprise in his eyes. She sees it quickly harden to anger again.

“I’ll restore my honor and my father will accept me.”

“Honor? You’re willing to doom the whole world for honor?”

“If your definition of doom is  _ our _ nation being the most powerful in the whole world-“

“Millions of lives and cultures have been lost because of our nation’s obsession with power! What use is honor to one man if you dishonor the world?” Xia pleaded, “Zuko, I don’t want us to fight.”

For a moment she sees her best friend again. The one that apologies when he realizes he went too far, the one that softens when he sees her working on something difficult and sits next to her patiently rather than dragging her off somewhere, the one that winces when he watches her train with an older general. Just like that, the look is gone into a passive stony look.

“I don’t want to fight you either,” He finally says, “but I will take down anyone who stands between me and the avatar.”

It’s that moment she realizes their paths have split and each action they took is a step further and further away from the other. But unlike a path, they couldn’t just walk back. They couldn’t turn back time and go to a past where they were both happy and the war was a world away. They weren’t two best friends from the Fire Nation.

He’s the Crown Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, destined to serve his people.

She’s the Red Fox, the traitorous spirit of the girl destined to serve her people. 

* * *

_ “I hate cut days.” His best friend grumbles, glaring at her reflection in the water.  _

_ Zuko is used to this complaint. It comes every time her family’s servants scold her because her long black hair is considered taboo and putting some of it into a topknot apparently isn’t enough for them.  _

_ Every few months he watches with sympathy as her best friend flares at the shoulder length black hair. Because it’s not her. She’s not like his sister or her friends who style their hair in typical Fire Nation fashions like ponytails, braids, or buns. Zuko is confident she wakes up from bed, detangles the nots, puts the socially acceptable minimum amount of hair into the topknot and leaves long loosely curled black locks to be free. _

_ “I think you still look good.” Zuko says honestly. It’s not the social quo, but it’s not bad.  _

_ “When I become a general, I’ll let my hair grow past my shoulders and no one will stop me!” She says fiercely, grinning at him excitedly. _

_ Zuko only smiles and runs a hand through her hair. _

* * *

Zuko silently scolds himself for remembering something stupid like that on the battlefield. But as he looks at the spirit a few feet away, he can’t help but realize how much longer her hair is. It’s to the middle of her back, no longer confined to shoulder length as per her parents and their servants wishes. But how do spirits grow their hair?

Better yet...how did spirits even grow? He’s confident she wasn’t this tall when they were 13.

Zuko shakes off the question as he realizes he’s allowed the spirit to distract him. The avatar would be miles away if he took time to wonder about the spirit world. He doesn’t hesitate to bend flames to the spirit.

He watches in shock as the spirit takes control of the flames, and instead of sending it back…he sees it panic for a moment before sending it to a tree further away from the village.

Even in death, Xia still can’t bring herself to fight him. Underneath that mask is still a 13 year old girl who promised to come back to him, who still takes joy in feeding the turtle ducks and walking around the Fire Lily festival with him.

Zuko shakes off his shock and surges towards her. He knows he can’t really hurt her, she’s dead, but he could still force her to fight back. Part of him wants her to hold back because it still means he’s worth something to her even in death, and the other part wants her to fight back because it would be easier to convince himself that her spirit was corrupted and this wasn’t really his best friend. 

* * *

Xia watches as he runs towards her, flames dancing behind his fist.

It’s such a direct attack and she knows she should jump out of the way or ready her own counterattack...but she can’t. 

She puts her arms out and grabs him by the wrist but he’s stronger and bigger so he sends them both toppling to the ground.

His knee is on her stomach and a pained wheeze leaves her, she looks up at him blearily as shock crosses his features. 

His knee is digging into soft flesh and there’s warmth radiating from the hands around his wrists. 

This isn’t what a spirit is supposed to feel like. 

He rolls off her and yanks his wrist out of her hands before grabbing the fox mask and ripping it off her face. 

Horror floods through him as he stands with his hands shaking.

On the ground is his best friend, looking older than she did before she left him. 

Xia was alive...and she had betrayed him

* * *

He rips the mask off her face and Xia feels tears rush to her eyes as she watches his look morph to devastation. 

They’re engulfed in a shadow as Appa flies above them, relief floods her.

“You lied.” Zuko accuses, his voice is shaking as he drops the mask and steps away. “You betrayed the Fire Nation, you betrayed the Fire Nation,  _ you betrayed me _ .” She can see him on the verge of breaking down, any composure at all slips away and she can see the war in himself. 

She wants to tell him how she never wanted to betray the Fire Nation. That she was forced against her will and she’d give anything to go back to the way things used to be. But it would’ve been a lie would it? Because that’s all she had done for the last two years. When given a choice of death or betrayal, she chose betrayal and waged battles against the people she vowed to protect. Xia looks away in shame, and desperately holds the tears back.

“For 2 years I’ve spent everyday suffering. I spent every day believing you were killed and that your spirit just felt restless and confused.” Zuko hissed, “What did you do? You turned against your nation and let everyone who cares about you suffer.”

She shuts her eyes tightly as she feels him get closer. 

“I won’t let you hurt me anymore.,” Zuko yells, “If the Fire Nation can’t have the avatar, then I’ll take you back. Not as some prodigal daughter, but as the traitor you are. You’ll stand trial for your crimes and rot in-”

Black eyes fly open and she doesn’t hesitate to kick him in the chest, ignoring the way he stumbles backward as she grabs her mask and dashes away from him. She can’t afford to be caught. The avatar needed training and there were still refugees and villages to help. She couldn’t give up, not yet. Her heart screams no and to hug him tightly and apologize for hurting him in her war with his nation. Her mind and body tell her to act and run.

She spins to face him as she hears his yell of anger and quickly redirects a blast of flames towards him. 

“Your destiny is to ruin the world, and mine is to save it.” Xia says coldly, it’s the only way to keep herself from breaking down. “I won’t let your nation burn any more beauty away.” She finishes retying her mask before assuming a fighting stance. 

“Then you’ll die!” Zuko yelled, sending a pillar of flames towards her.

She takes control of the flames with a spin and spreads her arms out, dispersing it as a ring of fire separating her and the village from the wayward prince. 

“I’ll die doing what’s right!” She yells back, before forcing the flames in the ring forward, forcing him to step back. 

They glare at each other from opposite sides of flames. Neither of them speak or move but the rift between them grows. 

“Prince Zuko! We need to hurry back to the ship before the avatar gets too far!” They hear a soldier yell in the distance.

She watches him groan and turn away, stomping in the direction of the forest as a soldier brings back one of the runaway ostrich horses to him. Xia watches him turn his head slightly in her direction.

“I wish you died that day.”

It’s the last thing he says before mounting the ostrich horse, and leaving her. 

She watches as he disappears into the treeline, and she can’t help but agree. 

* * *

_ A pained noise escapes her as the older general surprises her by grabbing her wrist and kneeing her in the ribs. He lets go and she drops to the ground, hunching over and wrapping an arm around herself. _

_ “You can’t rely on your bending forever. A good general is able to-” _

_ “You didn’t need to hit her that hard!” She hears her best friend’s voice snap before a gentle hand touches her back. “You’re supposed to be training her! Not hurting her!” _

_ “My apologies, Prince Zuko, but our enemies won’t hold back on her. Neither will I.” the general says stiffly, hints of anger barely hidden in the respectful tone. _

_ “Get out! The session is over!” Zuko snaps.  _

_ Xia hears retreating boot steps before Zuko’s arm gently wraps itself around her shoulder. _

_ “You didn’t have to do that.” Xia says quietly, not looking up. _

_ “He’s an adult, he should know better than to beat up a 12 year old girl.” Zuko grumbles.  _

_ “It’s my fault for being weak. I deserved it. I got tired too quickly and didn’t realize he was so close.” Xia says with a weak smile, looking up at him and trying to convey she’d be okay. _

_ The glare disappears from his eyes, but now its a softer worried look. “No one deserves to be hurt, Xia.” Zuko says gently, helping her to her feet.  _

_ “How can I get stronger if no one is willing to hurt me?” Xia reminded gently. _

_ “You’re already super strong.” Zuko scoffed, purposely ignoring her very valid argument. _

_ “But I need to be the strongest to protect the people I love, silly.” Xia laughs, pinching his cheek teasingly. _

* * *

She’s redirecting the ring of flames into a bonfire in the middle of the village when the memory hits her. It’s enough to bring attention to the familiar feeling of sorrow as she finishes, denying a meal from the village. Instead she begins a slow journey to Shú Huí, barely paying attention as her body’s muscle memory kicks in. 

The sun is setting when Xia makes it to Shú Huí and she finds herself on the dock at the edge of the city. She sits cross legged as she watches the water mindlessly, not truly ready to think about today’s events. She doesn’t know how much time had passed when she hears Seiko’s boots echo on the dock.

“A soldier from the Fire Nation destroyed the statue of you on the clifftop.” She says and Xia can’t really bring herself to reply. 

“But someone left the statue two gifts yesterday.” Seiko adds as she sets down two things next to Xia. 

Xia picks them up and examines the pai-sho tile. It’s a lotus. She never really understood why it was even a piece, it was kind of useless.

Her eyes immediately began to tear up as she realized the other gift was three Silver Pieces, Fire Nation money. Before she knows it, she’s sobbing, setting down the pai sho tile and clutching the silver pieces to her chest. She doesn’t care how loud she is as she clutches the pieces tightly and let’s all the pain she felt that day flood into her. 

Because those silver pieces are more than just money. It’s memories of the markets she ran around with Zuko, her allowance from her parents, and reminders of times where home really was home. It’s her identity. 

In the city she saved, next to the woman who cared for her for two years, Xia feels more alone than ever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this far and all the love and support I've received! The picture attached is something I created on a character design game~ it's how I envision Xia!


	5. Chapter 5

The first thing Xia does as soon as she stops crying, is takes a dagger from her belt. 

“Xia?” Seiko asks softly.

“There is no home for me in the Fire Nation.” Xia says coldly, before taking hold of her topknot of black hair and slicing it off. “I don’t belong there anymore. A general is not who I’m meant to be.” She continues, before gently dropping her topknot into the ocean and watching it float away.

* * *

_ “Mommy, why do I need to have this stupid bun? Why can’t all my hair just be free?” 7 year old Xia whines. _

_ Lijuan looks away from the spear she’s sharpening and smiles softly at her daughter, “The topknot is part of our identity, Xia, it represents honor.” _

_ “What’s honor, Mommy?”  _

_ “It’s everything good that makes up a person. The topknot represents our pride, our status, our wealth, everything our ancestors-our nation- has worked for. Do you really want to remove that?” Lijuan asked with a knowing smile, black eyes glimmering.  _

_ Xia shakes her head furiously, “No, Mommy! I’ll wear it!” _

_ “Very good, now let’s face the day.” Her mother says, standing and holding a hand out for her to take.  _

* * *

“Then..let’s go home, Xia, it’s time for dinner.” Seiko says gently. 

Xia turns her back to the horizon, and takes Seiko’s hand as they walk back to their little hut in Shú Huí.

* * *

“Are we going to talk about why you destroyed your best friend’s statue?” Iroh asks, watching as his nephew glared at the waves. 

“We’re not best friends anymore, Uncle, anything we had is burned by betrayal.” Zuko says lowly.

“Who betrayed who?” His uncle asks, and Zuko can feel the accusation. 

“I didn’t fake my death, I didn’t turn against my nation, I didn’t aid rebellion.” Zuko snaps, turning to face the man with a fierce glare. 

“Don’t you ask yourself  _ why _ she does those things?” Iroh challenges.

“I don’t need to, I know everything I need to know about her. I know she’s alive, fighting against the Fire Nation, protecting the avatar, and that I won’t hold back next time I see her.” Zuko concedes, turning back to the ocean. 

* * *

_ They rarely have big fights. Zuko wouldn’t be surprised if it averaged to around once a year. When they do, it usually ends with one of them storming off angrily. Usually in 1-2 days, one apologizes or they talk it through until they both apologize.  _

_ Today, it’s not the case. _

_ Zuko feels immediate regret as tears flood his best friend’s eyes and she turns away wiping them hastily as she walks away. _

_ Logically, he knows he should wait until she’s cooled down before trying to apologize but the heartbroken look had him hooked. He couldn’t stand the idea of being the reason she cried.  _

_ So he quickly runs in front of her and takes her shoulders.  _

_ “Leave me alone, Zuko!” She tries to say it strongly, but it’s ruined by the tears and waver in her voice. She tilts her face into her hands as she cries.  _

_ “I didn’t mean it all, Xia!” He says desperately, pulling her into a hug, feeling tears wet his shoulder as he buries her head deeply into the crook of her neck. He feels horrible. He knows she doesn’t usually cry this easily, but her mother had died less than a month ago, he knew she was more fragile and he still snapped at her.  _

_ He snapped until she couldn’t fight back.  _

_ “Xia, I’m so sorry. I’m being stupid.” Zuko admits, hugging her a little closer as she shakes. “Please, please, don’t listen to anything I said earlier. It was wrong, it was mean, and- I’m sorry.”  _

_ He feels lost. He doesn’t know how to fix this or how to get her to stop crying. The only thing he knows is that he never wanted to hurt her again.  _

* * *

Zuko is thankful she was wearing the mask when he said he wished for her death. He knows that if he watched all the light leave his eyes...he might’ve stayed. He might’ve broke and hugged her, he might’ve begged for her forgiveness, and then her allegiance. 

He tells himself he’s right, that she’s a traitor. That the Fire Nation couldn’t have justice as long as she ran free. He tells himself he’s okay with her rotting in Boiling Rock, she chose that path after all.

Yet, he can’t even believe himself. Something in him keeps searching for ways to save her, searching for alternatives to ever having to fight her. 

He knows he’s lying as he speaks to his uncle. Zuko wants to ask why she turned against him. He wants her side of the story, not the one he hears passed throughout the world with changing variations to how she died, because she’s alive. Meaning she really did choose her path, she chose a black fox mask over everything she loved. 

Zuko knows there’s no going back. They’re so far apart now. They’re destined to fight each other for the rest of their lives, the very thought makes him so sick.

A quiet part of Zuko hopes she wins. But the quiet part is nothing more than quiet as the anger speaks louder.

She did this to them. She chose her path and followed it to the Earth Kingdom.

Now he chooses his path and follows it to the avatar, daring her to block him. 

* * *

  
  


“Do you have everything?” Seiko asks from the door.

Xia takes one last look at the hut she’s called home for the last two years. They’re leaving a lot behind as they journey to Ba Sing Se, ready to help refugees along the way. One of the pockets of her green dress is heavy with a fire lily Zuko had given her years ago, three silver Fire Nation pieces, and a white lotus tile. Her eyes land on her Fire Nation outfit she’s left in the corner of the room. The black mask is in her bag, but she had been debating for days now whether or not to leave behind the armor. 

She wants to let go of the past so it can’t hurt her, but she couldn’t bring herself to step away from the hut without her red armor. 

“Bring it.” Seiko orders, “You never know when you’ll need it.”

Xia is grateful for the excuse to bring it with her, so she packs it away into her other bag before following Seiko away from the hut.

They’re given the warmest goodbye from newly occupying Earth Kingdom soldiers and Shú Huí. They give them ostrich horses, food, water, and money. It’s a thank you for everything Seiko had done as a healer, and Xia as a warrior. 

Chief Suzu even visits to wish them well. He gifts her a strong spear with a glimmering iron tip. The rod is decorated with symbols from his village and Shú Huí. Engraved into the iron of the tip is a small fox decal. 

“I know you’re a bender and may not have a need for this, but when our sons would leave for war, they’re gifted a weapon from their home.” He explains, and Xia gives him a teary smile before hugging him tightly.

“You better keep telling your version of my story, it’s my favorite.” Xia admits after pulling away. 

As Seiko and her stand at the edge of the forest, waving at the people of Shú Huí one last time, Seiko and her look at each other with a soft smile. 

“It’s time to face the day.” Seiko proclaims. 

“To Ba Sing Se!” Xia smiles, taking one last look at the coastal city where everything began, before taking her first few steps away from home.

She had no idea where fate would take her, what would happen in Ba Sing Se, or when she’d see Aang. Yet calmness overtook her as she followed the healer, because this is what she was meant to do. This is who she was meant to be.

Her name was Xia, her destiny was to protect her people and as long as she wandered, the world would be her people.

  
  


A/n: See you guys in Ba Sing Se!


	6. Chapter 6

In almost every village they visit on their way to Ba Sing Se, Xia can see the impact the Red Fox had made. One time it’s a little makeshift doll a little boy carries with him, another time it’s kids arguing who gets to be the Red Fox in some game they play, but in almost every house and store they visit, there’s a warning poster of her made by the Fire Nation.

“It seems like everywhere we go, there’s posters of the Red Fox.” Seiko mentions to the woman at the fruit stall. Xia shoots her warning look, even if she knows the likelihood of the merchant being able to identify her is low. The portrait of her is from almost 3 years ago, she no longer has a top knot, and her hair is much longer. 

“These posters are in high demand! Whenever the Fire Nation puts them out, people steal them to keep, it’s basically free art work of a hero! Some even say it brings protection and fortune.” The merchant explains, “The spirit’s favorite fruit is oranges, so it’s customary to leave the best orange underneath her poster.” Xia only stares in amazement as Seiko bursts out laughing.

People were literally stealing posters from the Fire Nation, she didn’t know whether to be impressed or scared by such boldness. Xia could imagine how frustrating it must be for soldiers to have to keep resupplying her poster just to watch it end up as a small shrine in someone’s home with oranges underneath it. She wasn’t even obsessed with oranges, she just hadn’t tried them until she left the Fire Nation and just had a habit of buying them whenever she saw some.

Even with the veneration, Xia hadn’t worn her Fire Nation uniform since the fight. Instead, when the Red Fox was needed, she still wore her mask. Instead of her war dress, she wore black chest armor on a black long sleeve tunic and black baggy pants. Even as people speculated reasons why she wore black, Xia couldn’t bring herself to wear the armor. 

The most popular theory was that the Red Fox was mourning and lost something valuable to it. Xia couldn’t say they were wrong. 

* * *

  
  


_ “Come on, Zuko! You’re so slow!” Xia cheered quietly, sleep still tugging at her voice as they climbed the grassy hill.  _

_ Zuko only scowled grumpily as she trudged after her, “I’m starting to think this isn’t one of our best ideas.” _

_ As a cold breeze bit into her, Xia couldn’t help but admit he was right. “It’ll be worth it in the end!” She laughed, even if she was mostly convincing herself.  _

_ They made it to the top of the hill and quickly set up against the lone tree at the top. They put their blankets together and sat as close as possible to each other. Next to them, a skin of water and tea leaves gifted by Zuko’s uncle Iroh, as well as mochi Xia and him had made hours before. _

_ It was still dark outside and it was colder than they anticipated, but Xia couldn’t bring herself to mind. She leaned her head on her best friend’s shoulder basking in the warmth as he slid an arm through hers and clutched her hand. _

_ “Are you happy?” Zuko asked softly, and she couldn’t hear a single bit of malice in his voice. _

_ “The sun isn’t rising for another hour, I’m pretty tired from that hill climb, and it’s cold,” Xia began, “but I’m with you. So, I’m really happy.” She felt him relax and lay his cheek on top of her head. _

_ “Good,” He mumbled softly, “because I am too.” _

_ It’s quiet for a few minutes, both of them are fighting off sleep as they enjoy the other’s warmth. It’s quiet until a nagging thought pulls at Xia. _

_ “Zuko.” _

_ “Yeah?” _

_ “Do you think we’ll be friends forever?” _

_ “I think so...I hope so. I can’t really imagine life without you.” Zuko says, holding her a little tighter. “Why are you asking?” _

_ “I want us to be best friends until the end. I think I can be happy for the rest of my life if it means we still stay in each other’s lives.” Xia murmurs, pulling away to look up at golden eyes. _

_ A smile breaks across the prince’s face, he leans her forehead against hers, she closes her eyes and enjoys the feeling with a smile. “It’s settled then, we’ll be best friends until the end.” Zuko says, his warm breath tickling her face. _

_ “Promise?” Xia asks, untangling their hands to hold a pinky up. _

_ Zuko wraps his pinky around hers, “Promise.” _

_ The two of them watch the sunrise with a cup of tea and lumpy mochi, in the grassy plains below, fire lilies bloom for the first time that season. Xia can’t think of anywhere she’d rather be.  _

* * *

It hurts her deeper than anything to see how tainted the memory is. It’s tainted by murky gold eyes looking for a fight, and by the words “I wish you died”. It’s a pain that none of Seiko’s remedies can fix and one that stabs a little deeper when she feels the dried fire lily in her pocket or the weight of the silver pieces. It’s enough to bring tears to her eyes at night, when the only one who could see her cry is maybe Seiko and the silver moon. 

It’s nights like these she realizes, she really did die that day. 

* * *

Zuko doesn’t tell a soul that Xia is alive.

He tells his uncle it’s because she’s dead to him. In his mind, Xia died when she betrayed him. 

When his uncle gives him a smile, Zuko continues, “If someone else catches the avatar, I can take her to my father and hope he considers it enough to restore my honor.”

His uncle looks away, continuing to make tea with their makeshift campfire. “I remember when you were 8, your mother told me you wanted to marry her.” The older man says with a wry smile and Zuko feels himself cringe.

He remembers that day. He remembers giving her a fire lily as she agreed happily before she tackled him into a hug. Zuko had told his whole family over dinner that night. Azula had laughed, his mother was supportive, and even his father hadn’t raised the objection.

_ “General Arjun’s daughter is a very respectable young girl, especially if she follows in her parents footsteps. She will make a fine general for the Fire Nation Army.” _

His father had said. 

“She could’ve been great,” Zuko says softly, “She was a strong bender, she was hardworking, headstrong, clever, I don’t understand why she would throw away her future like this.”

“Maybe she recognized that was not the path she was meant to take.” Iroh responded gently, 

“So the only way she could fix that is by leaving me? By faking her death and leaving behind everyone who loves her?” Zuko snapped. 

“She did not leave you, Zuko,” Iroh said firmly, “She left the path carved out for her. I’m sure she would want nothing more than to reconcile.”

“Yeah, well it didn’t look like that when she was ready to fight me.” Zuko scoffed.

“What choice did you give her?” Iroh cried, “You went straight to the village, intent on burning it to the ground in order to kidnap the avatar. Was she supposed to stand aside now after 2 years of protecting the region?”

“If I meant anything to her, she would’ve stepped aside.” Zuko argues back, scowling at his uncle.

“Do you wonder if Xia thinks the same too? ‘If I meant anything to him, he wouldn’t try to beat me to submission, burn down something I care about, to appease a man who has shown no care for him.’” Iroh mimics, setting down his teacup as he meets his nephews glare. 

Zuko yells and stomps away from his uncle, facepalming himself furiously as he fumes. “It doesn’t matter what we think because neither of us can give up! We’re too different now, there’s no hope in fixing whatever bridge we burned!” 

Part of Zuko screams at him to give up, and just like any other day, he ignores it as his uncle frowns at him with disappointment. 

* * *

Xia’s eyes gleam as she watches the view from the train to Ba Sing Se. She had never ridden a train before. She knows she must look silly, kneeling on the seat and nearly pressing her face to the glass.

Seiko doesn’t reprimand her, only reminds her that she hasn’t eaten her morning fruit yet. 

The city is huge and Xia can’t wait to explore. She knows that they’ll be confined to the outerwall, but it’s still vast. It reminds her a little bit of a huge market place. She’s not really sure when she’ll have time to explore, since she’ll be assisting Seiko in helping refugees for the most part, but Xia is excited nonetheless. 

It’s when her stomach growls, that Xia sits normally and accepts the orange from Seiko, eating quietly as Seiko spoke to a refugee nearby.

“This is my niece, Yeona, she’s been such a sweet girl accompanying me and helping me whenever I need.” Seiko says, patting Xia’s leg gently. 

“Oh, where are you two from?” The man asks, as his wife smiles and waves at Xia.

“Shú Huí, but we’ve been travelling for quite a while teaching and helping different Earth villages in healing.” Seiko explains.

“Oh really! Have you ever seen the Red Fox?” The wife asks excitedly.

“Oh yes! It has been so helpful! I always try to gift oranges for it.” Seiko laughs, and Xia prays the couple is too dumb to catch onto the double meaning. 

  
  


* * *

The days fly by as Seiko keeps getting influxes of customers as more refugees poor in. In the alleyway next to their small apartment, they set up a booth where Seiko continues to give free first aid, with tips appreciated but never required. Xia’s exploring takes place in the form of Seiko having her gather materials for their little hospital. That’s how she makes friends with a stray brown tabby cat who now sleeps in their apartment at night, but spends most of the day with Seiko as she works. They ended up naming it Lion, even though he has the personality of a kitten. 

They’re quickly gaining recognition, with former patients giving them gifts as they gain wealth, and the officials of Ba Sing Se even send them medical supplies once a week to better help people. 

It’s not the most exciting job, so Xia tries to make conversation with each of the patients. When she sees them around, they say hi and sometimes stop to talk for a while. When there’s no one to help, Xia’s mind drifts in various directions. She wonders what Aang is up to and when he’ll find her, she wonders if he’s mastered the other elements yet. She doesn’t let her mind drift to the Fire Nation, her father, or Zuko, during the day, she saves those sad thoughts for night, when she could allow herself to properly feel. 

One day, one of their past patients comes back with a bad scratch to his arm.

“You wouldn’t believe it, a hoard of animals just ran through the streets wreaking havoc! A rabaroo even snacked on the cabbage man’s cabbages! He cried!” The patient says, “I barely got out of the way in time from one of those monkeys!” 

“No way! Is it still going on?” Xia asks, as Seiko tutts disapprovingly while inspecting the scratch on his arm. 

“Thankfully no, the soldiers opened the gate and the zookeeper trapped them outside of the gate as part of his new zoo. It’s good because all the animals have way more space and food.” The patient explains. 

Seiko gives the man medicine in case it’s infected, but otherwise just disinfects the cut and bandages it. 

“Thank you so much you two! I think I’ll go to that new tea shop everyone is raving about!”

“What’s so good about it?” Xia asks

“I heard it used to be terrible, without any customers at all! Then these two refugees started working there and one of them is amazing at making tea and people say it’s one of the best cups they’ve had!” The patient exclaimed excitedly.

“Oh, Yeona, we should go tonight! A cup of hot tea is good for the soul.” Seiko proposes, “We’ve made a lot of tips too, I think we can afford it.”

Xia agrees, there aren’t many luxuries available in the outer walls, so a good cup of tea sounds amazing. 

The patient tells them how to get there, and before he leaves he says, “The tea master is named Mushi! You should talk to him, I heard he’s kind and wise.”

Xia feels a soft smile cross her face, thoughts of a new adventure to another part of town and a warm cup of tea occupy her mind as she helps Seiko for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, sorry this chapter is a bit boring. Don't worry tho~ the action will pick up after this chapter! Thank you so much for all the support and reads


	7. Chapter 7

“I didn’t realize we lived so close to the lower ring’s best tea shop.” Seiko said cheerfully, as they walked that night. They hadn’t even been walking for 15 minutes when they found an unassuming building, a comforting glow from the windows and the sound of people drinking tea and chatting happily. 

“Pao Family Tea House, that sounds so...comforting.” Xia said, following Seiko to the door. 

“I think you could use a little bit of that.” Seiko sniped with a grin, pushing open the door. 

The scent of fresh tea and the feeling of warmth greeted Xia, the inside wasn’t large...but it had such a cozy inviting feeling. For a moment, Xia felt herself truly relax. For a moment, all the built up stress since  **_that_ ** day faded. 

“Welcome! The table over here just got cleaned! Rest for a while.” 

Xia’s eyes snap to the man dressed in a simple apron in the middle of the shop. Cold dread fills her as she realizes  _ she should’ve known.  _ She sees the way his golden eyes widen as they stare at each other. Shock crosses his face before  _ glee _ and logically, Xia knows she should turn back because the literal Dragon of the West is standing a few feet away, but she’s frozen. Because he looks like the same inviting and kind uncle she knew when she was still living in the Fire Nation. He still looks exactly like the general who always told her to take breaks and focused on lessons of respect, dignity, lessons that cultivated her as a person and less as a general. 

As scared as she is, Xia was about to follow Seiko to the table, fully committed to sitting and enjoying tea made by General Iroh because there’s a reason they’re both in Ba Sing Se. There’s a reason the two of them are so far away from ho-the Fire Nation. Just as she takes the first step towards the table, someone comes through the curtain of the kitchen and Xia’s heart drops as they land on the scar over the left part of his face, 

Xia takes off running as soon as his eyes widen, and she can hear him dropping a pot of tea before fast footsteps take off after her. 

* * *

“Xia.” Seiko says quietly,, standing from the chair as she watches the tea boy chase after her. She’s too worried to even default to her fake name, Yeona. She’s about to follow but the man with the long gray beard steps next to her table with a cup.

“Young love.” He says with a big smile as he puts the cup down. 

At the sight of amber eyes, Seiko feels her worry for Xia rise. The man is from the Fire Nation, he clearly knows Xia. The boy chasing her knows who she is. It’s with fear she realizes there’s nothing she can do. There was nothing she could do against a fire bender, let alone two, and she has no idea where Xia is running. Guilty swells as she looks up at the man in fear, searching for mercy in those eyes. 

“You have nothing to fear, Miss, he would never hurt her.”

Seiko relaxes and puts on the bravest smile she can, “You’re right. She’s too strong for that.” 

“You don’t understand,” the man says gently, “He would never hurt someone he loves.”

* * *

  
  


“Please! Wait!” She hears him yell, and she doesn’t dare look back. Xia deeply regrets wearing a dress today, it’s harder to run. The black flats on her feet are working harder than they ever have before as she jumps over a bucket someone left on the sidewalk. 

No matter what, she doesn’t stop and she doesn’t turn back. She doesn’t want to risk her wavering heart betraying her again. So she reminds herself that it’s not her best friend running behind her. It’s not Zuzu. It’s not the boy she made a pinky promise with. It’s not the boy she said she would marry.

Chasing after her was the Crown Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation,a soldier of Ozai fully prepared to ruin her life and the entire world.

“I just want to talk!” He’s pleading now and instinctively she considers slowing down. Years later, she’s still hardwired to want to help him when he uses that voice.

But he knows that, the logical part of her screams, he knows you so well, he knows exactly how to ruin you.

Xia knows she has to put an end to this. She sees an alleyway up ahead, maybe it leads to the next street. She quickly dips in, and immediately dives behind an empty market stall. Crouching down, she catches her breath as quietly as she can, she’s banking on him running by the stall into the next street, so she could slip away and try to find her way home. She’s not worried about Seiko, she knows Iroh wouldn’t hurt her. She’s innocent. General Iroh never hurts innocents. 

Relief fills her heart as she realizes Zuko never even passes the alleyway, She risks a peak from around the stall and sees the street empty and doesn’t hear any footsteps. Maybe he gave up. Xia knows she should feel relief, but instead, sadness rises. Logically, she knows she should get up and head home, but instead she hugs her knees to her chest and through the blur of her tears, she can see there’s a tear at the bottom part of her dress and a deep gash running from the the side of her ankle to the top of her foot. The adrenaline fades and a whimper pulls itself from her throat as she buries her face into her knee while the other leg relaxes and straightens on the dirty ground.

This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go. 

Before tears could even fall, she hears the creak of wood above her. Panicked, Xia’s head flies up to look at the sound and sees Zuko leaping from the awning of a roof and landing next to her. 

She’s about to get up to run as blind hot fear passes through her but his hand roughly shoots out and grabs her shoulder. 

“You were so focused on running away from me, you didn’t even notice you cut your foot on the edge of a pipe while you turned the corner.” Zuko exclaimed, and his eyes are...worried.

It’s a lie, she tells herself, turning her head away and contemplating her options.

She could fight.

“I know you’re thinking of fighting, but you’re injured and I won’t fight you...not now at least.” She hears Zuko sigh. 

She could get up and keep running.

“You probably want to run too,” Zuko says, and she hears a hint of fondness in his tone, “but you shouldn’t irritate your wound.”

Frustration flares in her because he still knows her. He knows her so well, and that terrifies her because she doesn’t know him anymore. “I don’t know where the avatar is.” Xia says honestly, maybe he’ll leave then when he realizes he has no use for her.

He sighs in relief and she glances at him from the corner of her eye, “That’s good. That makes it easier for me.” 

Her head snaps back to him in fear and she holds her hands out threateningly. She won’t be his prisoner. She won’t go back to the Fire Nation. She’s willing to risk the Dai Li catch her bending before letting Zuko drag her there.

“It’s easier for me to help you if I know you aren’t involved with the avatar.” Zuko admits sheepishly before reaching towards her.

Xia is wildly confused and even more scared, and bends a small burst of flames threateningly, watching as Zuko’s eyes widen as he jerks away.

“Are you crazy? You can’t do that here, if anyone knows you’re a-” 

“I won’t be your prisoner.” Xia says coldly. 

She hated how openly he expressed himself, as pain flashed across his face, she almost believes he really is the boy she used to know. But...the Zuko she knows wasn’t the best actor. “I don’t want you to be,” He says quietly, “I just want to take care of you now.”

“Keyword: now. What about tomorrow? And the day after?” Xia challenges, not hesitating to be difficult. 

“Bringing you as a prisoner won’t restore my honor, he’d only ask me to keep looking for the avatar...so there’s no reason for me to hurt you if you don’t associate with the avatar.” Zuko says quickly.

“You were ready to kill me last time.” Xia reminds, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

“I thought you were dead, I didn’t realize I could really hurt you. When I did, I was just so angry you were helping him that I...I didn’t think.” Zuko admits. “Uncle and I live nearby, I can take you to our apartment and clean your wound.”

Xia only glares, “Seiko and I have medical supplies at our apartment, she’s a healer. She can help me when she gets home.”

“We shouldn’t wait. Your wound could get infected. Can I?” Zuko asks, reaching towards her again, “Please, Xia.”

He wouldn’t let her win. So she withdrew her hands and crossed them over her chest. She tries to ignore the way her heart flutters when he smiles and slips a hand underneath her legs and at her back. He lifts her effortlessly. 

Her heartbeat races and she feels a soft smile cross her face as she realizes this isn’t the first time he’s carried her. The first time was when they were 13. 

“Do you remember when we were 13 and you sprained your ankle at the Fire Lily Festival?” Zuko asks, looking down at her briefly. 

They’re remembering the same thing. “Yeah...it was towards the end of the festival and you carried me all the way home.” She muses, laying her head on his shoulder while gently snaking an arm around his neck. It’s more comfortable this way. 

“It was our last Fire Lily Festival too…” Zuko trails off. 

“I bet the last two weren’t as fun without me.” Xia teases, and it’s years of friendship that makes it so easy to act like two years didn’t pass and that they weren’t standing on two different sides of a raging war.

“I never got to go,” Zuko admits, “My father banished me after you died...or you know faked your death.”

Xia frowns and tries to sit up, “Is that how you got this?”, gentle fingers trace the outline of the scar on his face.

He nods stiffly, wincing, “I can tell you about it while I clean and bandage the cut.” 

“If it hurts too much-”

“I want you to tell me everything too.” Zuko interrupts. 

She didn’t even realize he had stopped walking and was looking down at her hopefully. “You haven’t heard the story?” She teased.

“I haven’t heard it from you...and that version means more to me than any of them.” The look in his eyes is genuine and they aren’t as murky as they were the last time.

So she relaxes and leans against his chest, and starts off the story in her favorite way she’s heard it told.  “One of the greatest secrets of the Earth Kingdom began in a small coastal village called  Shú Huí.”

Zuko continues to walk, she continues to talk, and the light bustle of Ba Sing Se streets at night feels exactly like the night he carried her home. It’s just like old times...and Xia is the happiest she’s been in two years. 

A/N: ahh thank you so much for reading! The story has crossed the half way point, and It's been an absolute joy to write this,


	8. Chapter 8

“And that’s how I became the Red Fox.” She finished.

Zuko stared at her in awe, her foot still laying on his lap. He feels sick with guilt now that he understands what really happened. Could it even be called betrayal if she had no choice? His best friend was  _ kidnapped _ and  _ used  _ to gain an edge on the Fire Nation. “I-i don’t know what to say.” Zuko admits, “I thought you betrayed the Fire Nation, I thought you betrayed me.” 

She smiles sadly at him, “I did, Zuko, because I could’ve stopped. I could’ve left. I chose my fate.”

“How could you say that?” Zuko groans, standing up and rubbing a hand over his face, “Don’t you see they  _ used  _ you? They  _ used  _ you until you lost every chance to go home. You didn’t choose that, Ngoc did!” 

“Well, it doesn’t really matter what I did back then, does it? Because we’re here now, still on two different sides.” 

Zuko can hear the sadness in her voice and he looks at her, sitting in his bed with the saddest smile in the world. He sees the tiredness in her eyes, the callouses in her hands, and her faded complexion. The war had changed her...but maybe not enough to keep her away from home. “We could both restore our honor!” Zuko says as the realization hits, “We can catch the avatar together and return as heroes!” 

He watches all the happiness suddenly flood out of her face.

* * *

  
  


That’s why he saved me. Xia thought bitterly, standing up abruptly and striding out of the door. She ignored the sting of her wound as she waked, ignoring Zuko clamoring up behind her.

“Hey! It took me 10 minutes to get the bandage right, you can’t just ruin-”

“I don’t want to spend my life hurting people.” Xia says, feeling tears sting at her eyes as she watches her best friend slowly disappearing right before her eyes.

At the sight of worry going back to wrath, Xia turned away and continued onto the now empty streets of Ba Sing Se. She wrapped her arms around herself, and allowed her mind to go empty as her feet carried her home.

This is what she should’ve done before. 

Zuko quickly jumped in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders. When she looked up, she saw desperation in those bronze eyes. “This is our chance to come home, Xia, don’t you want that too?” 

It’s emotional manipulation at its finest. 

* * *

_ “The world is full of actors and actresses, Xia.” Her mother says as Xia looks over the latest battle plan. “Mercy is a general’s most dangerous temptation.” _

_ “What do you mean, Mom?” 10 year old Xia asked, looking away from the map with red flame figures and blue ships. _

_ “A good general does not allow their heart in any part of the battlefield. A good general meets a teary eyed idiot with a blade before moving on to the next.” General Lijuan says, smoothing a hand through her daughter’s hair. _

_ “Oh..” Xia frowns, looking away from her mother. _

* * *

  
  


“As kids, we’re taught the Fire Nation is the greatest civilization in the world and that we need to spread greatness to the other three nations.” Xia sighed letting him see the pain in her eyes, “On the day I died, I didn’t see that greatness being spread. I didn’t see it as we made slaves out of villages, and I don’t see it now as I meet more and more refugees.”

Zuko looks away with a scowl and lets go of her shoulders. “If they stopped resisting, then there wouldn’t be-”

“If they said goodbye to their identity? Their culture? Everything their ancestors worked for?” Xia asked. “Zuko-” She’s reaching for his chin to gently turn him towards her, and she’s met with a painful slap to her hand.

“I’m done with you.” He snarls, pushing past her with a sharp shove to her shoulder. “I don’t even know who you are anymore.” Xia doesn’t miss the way he tries to say it with coldness, but she can hear the pain in his voice. She doesn’t turn around now, she knows she’d only see his back.

“It doesn’t have to be like this, Zu-”

“It’s Lee to you.” He interrupts.

“It’s not too late for you to help-”

“If I see you with the Avatar, I won’t hesitate to bring you both down.” Zuko says lowly, “I’m stronger than you in everyway, you’re so stupid to go against me, against the Fire Nation.”

Dread and nausea fill her to the brim, Xia can’t deny she’s so scared and so sad. Even then, she doesn’t turn around and doesn’t give him the satisfaction of a reply. She straightens her posture, and walks home. 

Seiko unravels the bandages Zuko had so meticulously placed, only to wrap it again when she sees the wound was properly cleaned. It’s when Seiko hugs her tightly that Xia leans into the embrace and lets a few tears escape. 

“I’m so tired.” She finds herself admitting.

Seiko only holds her tighter and buries a hand in her hair.

* * *

“Did you two finally make up?” Iroh asked as his nephew stormed into the apartment.

“Does it look like we did?” Zuko snapped, angrily stripping out of his uniform before crashing down onto his bed. 

He ignores his Uncle’s frown and tries to sleep. He tries to ignore whatever feelings came with seeing her black eyes or the moment she turned her back on him. It didn’t matter what past they had. Xia had made it very clearly where she stood, and it wasn’t on his side.

* * *

  
  


_ Five year old Zuko had seen the girl visiting the palace everyday for a week, when he finally gained the courage to meet her. She was always with her parents, who were dressed in Fire Nation armor.  _

_ Usually it’s in the palace gardens as they leave her there and tell her not to stray, before doing whatever adults normally do. He watches as the young girl plays by herself, sometimes she brings a tiger monkey plushie to play with, sometimes she watches the clouds, and sometimes she plays this weird game that involves hiding behind trees and bushes.  _

_ Zuko tells his mother he thinks the girl is very pretty, and one day his mother tells him to stay in the gardens while she goes to meet his father.  _

_ Coincidentally, it’s the same time the black haired , black eyed, girl is there.  _

_ “Hi! My name is Xia! What’s your name?” She asks, practically bouncing with excitement as she looks at him with a wide smile. She’s holding a red ball, and Zuko hopes she lets him play with it.  _

_ “I’m Zuko! Do you wanna play catch together?” He asks, equally excited.  _

_ He doesn’t know how long they spend playing catch and talking about anything and everything, but it’s the most fun he’s had. Xia isn’t like his sister. She doesn’t call him names he doesn’t like and she doesn’t tease him when he can’t catch the ball. Zuko likes her a lot. She doesn’t even get mad when he accidentally throws the ball in the pond water.  _

_ Zuko watches surprised as she steps into the water, grabbing the ball before running back to her spot. “I’m sorry, Xia.” He says sadly, seeing the mud clinging to her shoes and her skirt drenched in water. He feels tears pricking his eyes and he’s so sure she’ll leave and stop playing with him. _

_ He’s surprised when she drops the ball and hugs him. “It’s okay, Zuko! You didn’t do it on purpose!” She says, stumbling over the word purpose a few times.  _

  
  


_ Zuko and her play all sorts of games together until both their parents return. _

_ “Mommy, Daddy, this is Zuko! He’s my new friend!” Xia says excitedly, holding his hand as they rush over to her parents, who look surprised. His mother is beaming as he introduces Xia to her.  _

_ ‘ _

_ “It’s nice to meet you, young prince, thank you for being friends with my daughter.” Xia’s father says with a bright smile as he kneels down in front of Zuko to see him better.  _

_ “No, Daddy, his name is Zuko.” Xia corrects gently. _

_ “Xia, Zuko’s grandfather is the Fire Lord, so he’s a prince. It’s only polite to call him-” _

_ “You can call me Zuko, Xia, I like it when you don’t call me prince.” Zuko interrupts his new friend’s mom, looking to Xia with a bright smile. _

_ “Okay!” She agrees easily. _

_ “Mom, can I play with Xia again tomorrow?” Zuko asks, looking up at her pleadingly. _

_ “Well, I think that would be a lovely idea! Will you two be back for another meeting tomorrow?” His mother asks his friend’s parents. _

_ “Arjun will be training the newer recruits, but I can bring Xia by tomorrow!” Her mother smiles. _

_ Xia and Zuko cheer. From that day on, they see each other everyday. They became inseparable. Or so they thought.  _

* * *

Of all his childhood memories, the ones with black eyes gleaming with love and excitement are the ones he remembers the most clearly.

Louder than any other part of him, he hears something screaming…

“Don’t let her go!” 

And just like any other part that screams to help the avatar not doom him, Zuko ignores it.

* * *

Seiko lets her sleep in, and when she awakes around midday, Lion the Cat is gently bumping her head with his paw. 

Xia pets the cat with a small smile before seeing a kettle of hot water and a bowl of tea leaves near her bed. A note in familiar handwriting lying next to it. 

Blinking away the sleep from her eyes, Xia reads the note. 

**To my old friend,**

**It appears your life has taken another winding turn.**

**The storm is long, it is relentless and filled with**

* * *

**many dangers, but more**

**important than the umbrella you hold and the jacket you wear, is the will to keep**

**running until the storm has passed. I have full faith that you have enough will to weather 1,000 storms. But in case you need a reminder, here is a blend of tea made just for you.**

**I call it Red Fox Breath.**

**I hope one day we can share a cup of tea together.**

**Your (oldest) friend,**

**Iroh**

Xia feels a smile grace her face and comfort flood her being. She brews the tea just as he taught her years ago.

* * *

_ “Is there any reason we’re making tea today, General Iroh?” Xia asks, pouring the tea for the general first before herself. _

_ “More important than knowing when to fight and how to fight, is when to take a break.” General Iroh grins. _

_ This lesson only added to the vast reasons of why she favored training with General Iroh. They sip tea with light and easy conversation until Zuko finds them. _

_ “What happened to training for the rest of the day?!?!” _

* * *

She pours herself a cup and closes her eyes as she savors the first sip.

With painful nostalgia and overwhelming happiness, Xia realizes…

He brewed her a flavor she hadn’t tasted since she died. It’s a tea made of jasmine and spices. 

It’s not home, but it’s the closest she’s ever felt to it. 

  
  


* * *

Days later as the general reveals to the gang that their letters were intercepted by Long Feng. They find one letter that stands out from the rest, it’s tied in red ribbon. 

Sokka opens it and his eyes widen, “It’s another poster of the Red Fox! Except it says she was last seen along the route to Ba Sing Se!”

“That must mean Xia is in Ba Sing Se!” Aang grinned.

“This is great! We can find her and tell her all about the plan and she can start helping Aang with his firebending!” Katara exclaims. 

“Maybe she even has information on Fire Nation battle tactics, we can bolster our attack more!” Sokka cheers excitedly. 

“You guys met the Red Fox?” Toph asked incredulously, “I didn’t even know her spirit could leave Shú Huí.” 

“I can’t wait for you to meet her, she’s even cooler in person and way less scary without the mask.” Sokka explained.

“You forgot to mention she’s alive too.” Katara pointed out.

“Honestly, sometimes I forget.” 

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

Xia’s eyes fly open at the sound of a sharp knock on the door of their small apartment. She groans, her eyes glancing at the window to see a dark blue sky. The sun wasn’t even up, and there was already someone who wanted to see Seiko.

She forces herself up from bed as Seiko sits up and looks warily at the door. 

“Already? Everyone knows I don’t open for another three hours.” The woman says sleepily.

“I’ll let them know.” Xia murmurs as the cat follows her to the door. She opens it just a crack, enough to peer at the person. 

“Good morning! I’ve been sent by the Hoshi family of the Upper-”

“We’re closed, come back in three hours.” Xia explains, before attempting to shut the door. A foot quickly wedges itself into the door jam before the man shoves his way in. Xia’s eyes widen and she takes the opportunity to grab his wrist and yank him forward so he trips on his foot, she pins his wrist behind him and puts a knee onto his back. “I don’t think you heard me correctly,  _ we’re closed _ .” 

“Please! You need to help us! The youngest daughter of the Hoshi family has fallen ill and the mistress has heard so much of a healer in the outer wall who is extremely skilled and knowledgeable! Are you Seiko the Healer?” The man whimpers, looking up at Seiko.

“I’m not sure who you are or where you or the Hoshi family are from, but-”

“The upper ring! The Hoshi family is willing to pay Seiko handsomely if she visits immediately! You will be housed and cared for as long as you heal the mistress’s daughter!” The man cries. 

“Should I drag him outside?” Xia asked.

“Not yet,” Seiko sighs, “Sir, please wait for us  **outside** , we will pack a bag and accompany you to the Hoshi family. You can tell me about the young girl’s symptoms on the way.”

“Yes, yes, of course! Now will you please ask your daughter to let go of me?” The man agrees.

“Daughter? Do I look that old to you?” Seiko says with an icy tone, “Yeona, drag him out.”

As they pack, Xia’s eyes drift to the cloth hiding her Red Fox outfit. She hadn’t worn it ever since she first fought Zuko at the village, and she can’t understand why something is telling her to bring it now.

“You never know when she’s needed.” Seiko offered.

With a nod, Xia packs it away and follows Seiko outside. 

* * *

  
  


After Xia finishes gathering medicinal ingredients for Seiko, she wanders around the Upper Ring while Seiko stays with the family. She feels horribly out of place as nobles look to her in unhidden disgust as she wanders in clothes she bought from the Lower Ring. In her bag, she carries a few credits, a steam bun, and her Red Fox outfit. She doesn’t trust the nobles of the house, and she doesn’t know the Fox’s reputation in this part of the Earth Kingdom. 

She’s not sure where she’s walking when a hand suddenly clasped itself onto her shoulder.

“I need your help, old friend.” 

Xia’s eyes widen and she spins around and sees the grim face of her favorite general.

“Is he okay?” Xia asks worriedly.

“The Fire Nation has infiltrated Ba Sing Se, Azula had him taken away by the Dai Li.” General Iroh explains, “I believe I’ll need help from the Red Fox.”

“And you’ll always receive it, General.” She says, determination crawling up her heart.

* * *

General Iroh and her had never fought side by side before, but they operate seamlessly as they take down a Dai Li agent before tying him up and gagging him.

“The Avatar and his friends are here as well. We need to tell them, before it’s too late.” Iroh explains as they travel swift behind houses, dragging the Dai Li behind them. 

Xia’s eyes widen behind the fox mask, “They’re here? I had no idea!” 

“I imagine they’ll be reluctant to help Zuko, but we can at least use this kind gentleman to tell them everything they need to know.” General Iroh says, smiling down at the man being dragged behind them in the dirt. 

“It would sure be a shame if I had to break a few of his bones, I was working so hard on being nicer. New city and all.” Xia said with false cheerfulness before ‘accidentally’ kicking the Dai Li as she walked.

They reached the building Aang was living in and Xia waited outside with the Dai Li while Iroh went to speak with them. She knows it’s mean, but she stands above the cowering agent with her arms crossed, and stares down at him without moving a muscle. It had been so long since she allowed herself to be the Red Fox in all its glory, of course she was going to take full advantage of it on a man who’s living involved scaring others.

  
  


Two walls of earth suddenly shot up and trapped the Dai Li. Turning around, Xia grinned under her mask and waved, her eyes drifting to a small girl with black hair. She was wearing green, she must be an Earth bender. She saw Aang and Sokka visibly relax as they returned the wave.

The group walked over, and as soon as General Iroh pulled off the gag, the Dai Li didn’t hesitate to talk about the coup and at Sokka’s interrogating, the location of Katara and Zuko. Worry flared in Xia, they had taken Katara too and she didn’t want to think about her and Zuko being imprisoned together. That could go so wrong so fast. 

* * *

Xia watches in wonder as the girl called Toph finds the entrance to an underground city and opens it effortlessly.

“Aang, Xia, you go with Iroh to look for Katara and the angry jerk-no offense.” Sokka explains.

Xia can’t help but snort as Iroh says, “None taken.”

* * *

“How do you two know each other?” Aang asks as Iroh lights the path in front of them while Xia watches behind them as they venture deeper and deeper into the tunnel.

“General Iroh was my favorite mentor when I was still living in the Fire Nation, his lessons were always fun and not so...fierce.” Xia explains, silently impressed as Aang earth bends more rocks out of their way. He’s stronger than when she first met him, and she’s confident he can handle fire bending.

“You were a good student too, even when Zuko tried to distract you from your lessons.” General Iroh laughs. 

“You know Zuko too?” Aang asked surprised, pausing to look at her with wide eyes.

“Before I died, we used to be best friends.” Xia says with a bitter smile she’s glad he can’t see. 

“And you still protected us from him when he was chasing us...even when you two were so close...you were able to pick duty over love.” Aang said, seeming to drift off to another thought.

It’s quiet for a few moments before Aang and General Iroh continue to talk. Xia is barely listening, her mind drifting over to what Aang said earlier. Love. Is that what it was? Is that what that stupid feeling in her chest is that keeps her from hating him? That wants to follow him everywhere? That pushes her to hold onto so many memories even if they hurt? The one that makes her check if she still has the pouch of dried fire lily? Was it love?

* * *

_ “Mai is really pretty.” Zuko mentions offhandedly as Xia takes notes on a failed battle plan.  _

_ “She is.” Xia agrees, ignoring the unease in her stomach. She wonders if he’s heard how Mai has a crush on him.  _

_ “She has a really pretty voice too.” Zuko continues. _

_ “I didn’t realize bored was your type.” Xia noted, looking up from the map. He’s looking out her window with a far off and longing look.  _

_ “I didn’t really know too..until we walked around together and I found myself wanting to stay with her a little longer.” Zuko mused, “Have you ever felt that way before, Xia?” _

_ Xia puts down her brush and glances down at the map decorated with notes of everything the general had done wrong in the attack. “That I wanted to talk to someone more?” She asked with an arched eyebrow.  _

_ “No like,” Zuko sighs frustrated, “You want to give them the world, protect them from anything, see them smile, and you don’t really feel complete without them.” _

_ With a sad smile, Xia looks up from the map and sees him scowling out her window. She can see how bothered he is, and she doesn’t want to add any more to his burden. So she lies. “I haven’t.” _

_ His shoulders drop, so she continues. “But I think it’s called love. Maybe you should tell her. I hear she has a big crush on you.”  _

_ “Really?” He asks, and she sees hope in his golden eyes. _

_ And as much as it pains her to say the truth, she does. “Yeah, Ty Lee told me. You should go see her now, there’s no point in watching me work.”  _

_ He leaves her room wordlessly and the smile she had struggled to keep drops. She feels a little empty inside as she continues to find flaws in the past battle plan.  _

* * *

  
  
  


Her thoughts are interrupted by a glow of green light, and her eyes stare in wonder at the glowing green crystals of the catacombs. 

“...you will come to a better place.” She hears General Iroh say, with guilt she realizes she missed one of many of his good advice. Someone should really make a book of all his quotes. 

The three of them take a few seconds to admire the crystal cavern before continuing to search for the Zuko and Katara. Aang bends another wall, and crystal shards explode. 

“Aang!” She hears Katara exclaim. Xia’s heart softens as she watches her rush over and hug him. “You found Xia too!” Katara smiles, and Xia lets herself be pulled into a quick hug before Katara turns back to Aang. 

Xia keeps her back turned on Zuko. She doesn’t let her rapid heartbeat distract her and she tries to ignore the tension on her shoulders, even as she feels his eyes boring into her. Black eyes drift over Katara, noting that she doesn’t see any injuries. Zuko hadn’t hurt her, good. But she doesn’t trust him, she literally can’t trust him. He was so obsessed with getting her on his side a few days ago, he’s still just as lost as he was before and Katara is absolutely lucky to be-

“Uncle, I don’t understand,” She hears Zuko say, “What are you doing with the avatar?”

Xia spins around and drops into a fighting stance, her eyes narrowing in on Zuko. 

“Saving you, that’s what.” Aang says behind her, and flame dances on her fingertips as Zuko tries to break his uncle’s hold and rush Aang. 

“Zuko, it’s time we talked.” Iroh says firmly, “Go help your other friends. We’ll catch up with you.” 

Aang bows towards him before running off. Xia nods her thanks to General Iroh and follows after him. She tries to ignore the sad look in Zuko’s eyes as she turns away. Xia doesn’t have time to dwell on what he could be, what they could be, not when the Fire Nation strived closer and closer to the end of Ba Sing Se. Xia frowns as she watches Katara hesitate, making a mental note to ask how Zuko harassed her. 

“We need to hurry.” Xia says gently, and Katara nods and runs with her.

“We’ve gotta find Sokka and Toph!” Katara yells.

Right after they hear a loud explosion and as they turn Aang is bending Earth to create a shield. Amidst the smoke, she sees the last person she wants to see. 

Azula. 

Gritting her teeth, Xia creates a ball of flames and sends it towards her. Blue flames shoot out and deflect it, and Xia remembers why Azula was considered a prodigy. 

Xia thinks the battle is practically over as her, Katara, and Aang surround Azula. She thinks it was easier than expected and Azula has nowhere to run. But when flames shoot into the middle of their triangle and Zuko’s eyes shift away from Azula towards Aang’s form. Xia knows the battle had just begun. It’s then she accepts that the boy with bright gold eyes is truly dead. 

Xia cuts through Zuko’s pillar of flames with a sharp burst of flames, giving Aang time to jump back. Once she sees Aang gain focus, Xia jumps in to aid Katara. The Prince and Princess are equally strong, but she knows Zuko is motivated more by anger while Azula craves blood. 

  
  


She spends the battle switching between protecting Aang and Katara, occasionally drawing Azula or Zuko’s attention while Aang and Katara take the upper hand. It’s most combat Xia had seen since the Fire Nation first invaded Shú Huí and Xia is relieved Katara and Aang are there. Her bending is nowhere near as good as the royals. But she won’t give up, even if it kills her, Xia vows. Her life meant nothing if she didn’t use it to save the world. 

As Xia defends against an attack by Azula she hears Katara yell, “I thought you had changed!” 

“I have changed.” She heard Zuko reply coldly. Xia couldn’t agree more.

As she watches Aang fly through the air and crash into a building, Xia is torn between helping Katara and checking on Aang. Xia runs to Katara narrowly deflecting an attack by Azula, only to watch as Zuko send flames in her direction. Xia tries to force the flames back but it’s too strong and she’s slammed into a rock, her vision going blurry as Katara falls a few feet away from her. The rock had cut into the ribbon of her mask and the red fox mask lay in her lap.

Her panic rises as she sees the Dai Li surround them and send Aang flying into the air. Jumping to her feet, Xia creates a ring of flames around her as Dai Li surrounds her. Aang traps himself into a tent of gemstones and Xia faintly wonders if he’s trying to go into a 100 year sleep again. But light glows through the catacombs, and Xia doesn’t look away as Aang emerges in a pillar of light, his eyes and tattoos glowing.

She has no idea what she’s seeing but Xia feels safe as he ascends. He’s in a state more powerful than she’d ever known. 

Any hope that rose is immediately dashed as lighting shoots out from Azula’s fingertips and Aang is falling. Just before he hits the ground, Katara bends a wave and catches him, tears filling her eyes as she looks to Xia in pain. Xia rushes over, kneeling next to her as her eyes drift to..Aang’s still form. 

“No.” Xia whispers, and feels tears flood her eyes as Zuko and Azula stalk towards them and the Dai Li begin to rise. She holds a shaky hand out, still ready to protect her friends even if… Aang is…. He can’t be. He’s the avatar. 

But flames shoot between them and the Fire Nation’s prince and princess and General Iroh leaps down in front of them, facing against his family.

“You’ve got to get out of here! I’ll hold them off as long as I can!” General Iroh yells. 

Xia gives a reassuring smile to Katara, even as she feels dread fill her heart. She places the mask on top of Aang, “Take care of both for me, okay?” Xia asks. Katara nods with determination and Xia jumps to her feet before rushing a few feet in front of them. Her breath comes out shakily and Xia blinks away tears as she tries to come to terms that she might never see her friends again. Her last moments might not be surrounded by friends and family as she passes peacefully and painlessly...they could be here, giving the world a fighting chance as she faces against countless Dai Li and the Prince and Princess of the Fire Nation. And if she lived...would they take her as a prisoner never to see the light of day? Or would they execute her? 

* * *

_ “For you.” Zuko says, with a slight blush on his face as the general who was training her looks at Zuko strangely as he leaves the training grounds. In Zuko’s hand is a fire lily. _

_ “Oh, today is the first day of bloom? I didn’t even realize!” Xia exclaimed surprised, “It looks like you picked the best one too!” _

_ “You don’t even know how the others look like.” Zuko says with a soft smile. _

_ “Yeah, but this one is the best because you picked it!” Xia grins. _

* * *

  
  


Xia allows herself to touch the armor covering her heart, knowing the pouch of fire lily is buried underneath the chest piece. A bitter smile crosses her face as she sees Zuko staring at the avatar and Katara escaping, and she can’t read the look on his face. She doesn’t try to, because if this is the last time she can see her best friend...one last look wouldn’t hurt. 

Xia sees the Dai Li aiming rocks at Katara and Aang, and she doesn’t hesitate to block the attacks with fire. She’s so focused on protecting them, that she doesn’t notice Azula’s eyes snapping towards her. It’s only as she hears the sound of fire and turns her head that Xia realizes her fate. It’s hot and burning as it eats away the right side of her body and to her upper thigh. The world falls silent and Xia falls too, a hand clenching her side as the world spins. The last thing she sees is her hand coated in blood and General Iroh’s worried face.


	10. Chapter 10

“And what happened to Xia?” Sokka asks, clutching the black fox mask tightly. 

“She stayed with Iroh to hold off the Fire Nation and Dai Li.” Katara said quietly, her eyes tearing up, “She got burned really badly.”

Sokka looks away, his eyes focusing on the painted red lines of the fox mask. He tries not to think about what the Fire Nation would do to traitors.

* * *

Zuko can’t hear what Xia says as she gently lays the mask on the avatar’s chest, he only sees tears sparkle in her eyes as she gives the waterbender a reassuring smile. It’s with a surprising amount of pain he realizes that Xia won’t run away, she’s still willing to stand her ground and fight against him, even if it kills her.

And against all realms of logic, he’s terrified for her. The cold dread is one he hadn’t felt in two years, and he remembers the day clearly. Zuko remembers the day she left for Shú Huí.

That terror doesn’t wane as he sees his sister turn towards her, anger flaring in her eyes as she sends blue flames to Xia.

But Xia doesn’t see, and Zuko’s voice fails him. 

She’s so focused on protecting the avatar and Katara. Zuko watches as she turns at the last minute. Her scream is the only thing in Zuko’s ears before she’s stumbling to the ground, bleeding.

Zuko feels himself moving towards her before his sister grabs his shoulder, he can only watch in pain as his best friend’s eyes close.

* * *

  
  


Xia sees her mother. 

They’re standing at opposite ends of a field of fire lilies and her mother is dressed in the same armor as her. Her brown hair wrapped neatly in a topknot and in death, she wears her hair in a longer style.

Xia doesn’t feel pain...it’s nice.

“Are you proud of me?” Xia asks hopefully, “You always said a battle was the most honorable death for a general.” 

Black eyes look at her in pity, “Xia, I’ve always been proud of you.”

“I betrayed our nation, I used our outfit to fight our nation, I couldn’t fight off Ngoc,I made Dad think I was dead, and I failed the avatar. I’ve failed everyone I loved.” Xia says, not hiding her tears as they fell. 

“Dry your tears.” Her mother orders, and it’s not as sharp as Xia remembers, “The war isn’t over. This moment is key, it’s here you decide whether or not you’ll keep fighting.” 

Xia glances around the field of flowers, and it’s only when she looks over her shoulders that she sees that field ends into a cliff, the faint sound of crashing waves in the distance. Xia walks carefully to the edge, and she sees jagged rocks emerging from the ocean. “Are you mad at me?” Xia asks, turning back towards her mother who still stands in the red field of flowers.

“You’re not a general for the Fire Nation.” Her mother says, crossing her arms over her chest, “You’ve turned against everything you’ve loved and you force yourself to fight everyday. I’m so angry!” Her mother sighs. “I’m so angry that I couldn’t be there to hold you tightly because, Xia, I’m so proud of you. You have done so much good with your 15 years of life. The greatest gift I’ve given to our nation, to the world, is  _ you _ .”

Xia smiles and keeps her back turned on the cliff’s edge. “I love you, Mom.”

Her mother smiles, “The fight won’t get any easier, but I know you have the strength to push through.” Xia knows that’s her way of saying I love you.

“I’ll never stop.” Xia promises.

“I know.”

Xia nods and takes a deep breath, she turns towards the cliff’s edge and leaps off the side. Wind pushing her hair upwards as she falls closer and closer to rocks stabbing through water. 

* * *

Xia awakens with a gasp, she feels a burning pain on the length of her right side, from the top of her rib cage to the upper part of her thigh. 

The ground is hard and cool and General Iroh’s worried gold eyes look down at her. 

“They dragged you to this cell so your burn wound has opened up more. They gave me a small amount of water and not enough bandages to save you.” He sighs before helping her sit up against the wall.

Xia’s heart twinges as she sees General Iroh removing his outer robe and getting ready to wrap it around her wounds.

“It’s okay, General,” She says quietly, “You need to keep it, my father used to tell me the capital’s prisons were really cold.”

A sympathetic smile breaks through General Iroh’s face, “Do you think the Dragon of the West can’t make his own warmth? You need this more, Xia.”

She leans forward and lets him use his silk green outer robe to wrap the long wound gently. Xia knows it needs to clot or else she could die of blood loss, and that no one would take care of her as kindly as Iroh in the Fire Nation’s prisons. 

“I don’t know when we’ll see each other again,” Iroh admits, “I overheard the soldiers say we’ll be put on two different ships as we travel back to the Fire Nation.”

“They’re that scared of us?” Xia says with a pained smile. 

Iroh grins back, “We do make quite a fearsome team.”

It’s quiet as Iroh finishes wrapping her wounds, he settles across from her and sighs. Xia can see the trouble in his eyes and she knows they’re both thinking the same thing.

“He turned against you.” Xia says and she wants to reach out and comfort the general as he nods tiredly.

“He didn’t turn against me, he turned against the world,” Iroh says heavily, “I thought that I could change his mind, that I could dissuade him from this obsession. I thought I could end Ozai’s influence on him.” Xia can see how tired he is, and she wishes there was some way she could take away his pain. From firsthand experience, she knew only Zuko could take away this pain, 

“You did everything you could,” Xia reassures, “But only he can shape his destiny.” 

“I wish I was able to help him see that his destiny could be more than living for his father’s fake love.” Iroh says, his eyes closing tightly. 

Xia crawls over his side and hugs him, he doesn’t hesitate to hug her back. Today, they had both lost someone important to them. Today, they grieved together.

* * *

  
  


They march her and Iroh through the streets, Xia knows they’re one of many conquests of the Fire Nation. She sees the horror in the people’s eyes as the Fire Nation exerts their power over Ba Sing Se. Xia refuses to show weakness, even as her improperly treated burn screams with every step, she walks with her head held high. 

Stops are a rarity and she finds her strong facade breaking when she hears Iroh panting. Xia casts a worried look to him and when she sees his fatigued expression, Xia stops marching.

“Keep moving.” A soldier orders here.

“I won’t move until General Iroh gets water.” Xia says, staring him in the eye.

“You think just because you’re General Arjun’s daughter, I’ll do whatever you say?” The soldier laughed.

_ General Arjun’s daughter _ . How long had it been since someone called her that? Her heart twinges because she realizes that she’s finally able to come home, but as a prisoner. Would he even still call her his daughter?

“I’m sure the Firelord would love to hear how you had to kill one of his most important prisoners because you wouldn’t give his brother water.” Xia gambled. 

It’s a gamble well made, General Iroh gets water.

As soldiers board the ships, her and General Iroh talk while they still can.

“Don’t fight them too much, you’re weak.” General Iroh reminds.

“Stay safe, General, I can’t afford to lose anymore friends.” Xia shoots back with a small smile. 

“I think we’ve passed the term general now, haven’t we?” Iroh smiles back.

“Maybe, but you will always be my real general, not like General Piao who’s lectures are boring and strategies are bland.” Xia smirks, as General Piao turns to glare at her and Iroh. 

Her and Iroh exchange a grin as they’re promptly separated at General Piao’s furious orders. 

* * *

“Is this really necessary?” Zuko asks, as he watches Xia get moved to the other ship. He’s a worried mess as the soldiers jeer at her and force her roughly to the ship’s cells. Zuko had asked they be more gentle with her, and he knew she was making it difficult with her stupid pride. 

“Probably not, but there’s probably nothing you can do to change Azula’s mind.” Mai says, gently grabbing his arm.

Zuko feels sick. 

“She’ll be fine.” Mai comforts.

“The last time I heard that, she died.” Zuko snorts. 

“What about the first time you heard it?”

* * *

_ “She’s so stupid.” Zuko grumbles as he files into the dueling area with Azula and her friends. _

_ “You should be proud,” Azula shoots back, “Not everyone gets to fight in an Agni Kai at this age.” _

_ “This is reckless, it’s dangerous, and-” _

_ “She’ll be fine, Zuko,” Mai reassures, “It’s Xia, she’s been training for this all her life.” _

_ Zuko still feels sick as they sit in the crowd, he knows it’s filled with civilians, Xia’s teachers, older generals, members of the court, and even Xia’s parents.  _

_ It’s packed with so many people because the stakes are high. It started when a boy, Dara, at the Royal Fire Military Academy kept targeting Xia because she was one of few girls in the entire school, it only got worse when Xia kept outscoring him in every test and getting praise from teachers. So he shouldn’t have been surprised when Dara challenged Xia to an Agni Kai. If Dara wins, Xia leaves the Royal Fire Military Academy. If Xia wins, Dara has to show respect towards her and shave part of his head. _

_ Zuko is angry, not only that she accepted the Agni Kai, but because the stakes are so lopsided. If Xia lost, it could ruin everything she’s worked for and her family’s name. The worst thing that could to happen to Dara was being teased for a bald spot and being reminded he got beaten by a girl. _

_ “She looks a little nervous.” Ty Lee says worriedly, and Zuko can see Xia trying to keep her breathing under control as her back faces her opponent. He can see her black eyes shut tightly and can see her counting under her breath. _

_ His anger flares as he sees her opponent practicing various stances with an extra flare and flex of nonexistent muscles. But it fades back to concern as he sees an empty expression cross his best friend’s face while the officiant calls for the fighters to remove their shoulder pieces. _

_ He watches the empty look stay as she removes the shoulder piece off and lets it fall to the ground.  _

_ He hates the look on her face because it’s not his best friend at all. It’s not Xia. _

_ When the gong rings, the expression is still there. She turns to face her opponent and immediately dodges a strong burst of flames in her direction. _

_ Zuko didn’t realize he was clenching his fists so tightly until Mai put a hand on his. “Zuko. She’ll be fine.” She says.  _

* * *

“She won her first Agni Kai.” Zuko mumbled.

Mai nods, “So stop worrying, she’ll make it back to the Fire Nation just fine.”

_ And then what?  _ The little voice insides him asks.

* * *

  
  


The bottom of the ship is cold and her hands are covered in metal shackles, she can’t even beg for mercy because there’s a cloth gag in her mouth.

Xia isn’t sure if she’ll survive the voyage to the Fire Nation. She hadn’t gotten proper medical treatment for her burn and she hadn’t eaten since yesterday, when Seiko gave her a steam bun as they journeyed to the inner ring. 

Oh spirits. She doesn’t even know if Seiko is okay, she probably had no idea what happened to Xia.

In the darkness of her cell, Xia could feel her mind spiraling to panic as she felt the ship pull away from the docks. She thinks about how terrifying it is to die slowly. There’s no one there to pull her away from her own mind and there’s no relief for the pain on her side. 

Eventually the exhaustion of the day finally kicks in, she can’t help but sleep to the gentle movement of the waves rocking the boat. Her dreams are filled with better days of a carefree girl spending everyday with her best friend, neither of them are marred by the burns their nation leaves behind.

She wakes with the violent shaking of the boat and the men’s panicked cries.

* * *

“This is the only way we can get through the blockade.” Hakoda says.

“Let’s go.” Sokka agrees.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the support you've given me as I wrote this story! I appreciate all of the lovely comments and it makes writing even more fun!


	11. Chapter 11

“What are you planning to do with Uncle Iroh and Xia?” Zuko asks Azula. She turns away from the ocean to look at him with a smirk.

“Do you really think there’s any Xia left of what we arrested?” Azula retorts, “The Xia I remember wouldn’t fight her best friend.”

“Maybe we could fix her then,” Zuko dares, “she just needs help remembering. Prison wouldn’t be-”

“Zuzu, you can’t fix the dead.” Azula says pointedly, before leaving him to stand alone at the front of the ship.

* * *

When Xia can’t hear footsteps rushing by her door, she stands up and slowly makes her way to the door. Her legs are shaking and her arms hurt with the weight of the metal gauntlets covering her entire hand to just under her elbow. 

But this is her best escape opportunity. If the ship is being raided, she may be able to board the enemy ship.

With a grunt of exertion she swings the metal trap around her hands near the door handle. She knows with enough brute force, she may be able to break open the lock.

* * *

_ “More prisoners escape during transit, than they do in the actual Fire Nation prisons.” The professor drones on. _

_ Xia is doing her best to pay attention, but General Piao’s voice is so tiring to listen to. She can see out of the corner of her eye, her friend Cai is falling asleep again. The entire class looks ready to pass out. Her eyes briefly drift to the window, she wonders how Zuko is doing, is he bored too? _

_ “The most common mistake by our troops is leaving heavier objects in the room. This is because the holding cells in the newer Fire Nation ships are made with specific locks that break easily when brute force is applied.” General Piao says in his monotone voice.  _

* * *

“Thanks, General Piao.” Xia mutters under her breath as she continues to beat away at the door with her own shackles. 

She takes a few seconds to catch her breath before swinging harder than she did before. She hears the satisfying break of the lock before the door swings open. She hears the sounds of battle. Yup, definitely a raid.

_ I already have so many counts of treason under my belt _ , Xia thinks,  _ a few more won’t hurt. _ If she’s going to Fire Nation prison, she’s going there as a champion. 

Xia rushes towards the sounds of battle at the top deck. 

Her eyes catch on the men in blue uniforms, they must be from one of the water tribes.

“The prisoner escaped!” She heard a nearby soldier yell.

Without hesitation, Xia rushes towards him and narrowly misses a blast of flames. With a grunt of effort, Xia knocks her steel cuffs against him and he tumbles over the edge of the ship. 

  
  


_ “You should never battle at the edge of a ship.” General Piao instructs, “The superior armor of our nation makes it hard to swim. If you don’t sink immediately, you’ll die of exhaustion keeping yourself afloat.” _

Xia doesn’t let the thought concern her, there’s other ships nearby, they’d find him. 

More soldiers notice her and Xia smirks from under the mess of her long black hair. Between her and the water tribe, the Fire Nation soldiers’ attention is divided. She can see General Piao occupied fighting off two water tribe warriors, he can’t give clear orders to his men. 

Xia spins and then kicks her leg towards a soldier rushing her, flames extending from her leg, the soldier stumbles to dodge and it lets her rush forward to knock him out with her cuffs. The cold metal that had engulfed her hands and arms, had deprived her of a sense of touch and ability to bend with her hands, but now it had become her greatest weapon. Even as her side burns, she mercilessly takes down one soldier at a time. At one point, she didn’t realize she was being flanked from behind until a water tribe soldier threw a boomerang, knocking him out before standing behind her. 

“You make it look so easy.” Xia grinned, as two soldiers approached them.

“I should be saying that, I’ve lost count of how many you knocked out with your...whatever that is.”

“Anti bending device, too bad it’s only good for my hands.” Xia snorted before launching herself into a spinning kick and allowing a stream of fire to circle them and temporarily distract the soldiers. 

The man used the distraction to remove the soldier’s helmet and knock him out with the same boomerang.

Xia used the distraction to rush the soldier and slam her cuffs into his jaw, sending him stumbling and unconscious. 

Around them, the battle winded down and Xia turned to the man, “Thanks for the help back there.” 

“I’d shake your hand, but they look a little occupied,” the man joked, “Don’t worry, we have an earthbender on their way, they can get you out of those.”

“It’s easier to just grab the key from General Piao’s office, I’m not sure how an earthbender could help me with this.” Xia said, they were metal cuffs.

“Oh don’t worry, she can bend metal.”

Xia’s jaw dropped. She had never heard of anyone bending metal. She didn’t even know it was possible. 

Before she could ask more questions, a large shadow engulfed them and Xia’s heart soared when she looked up. Appa was making his landing, and on his back was Aang, Katara, Sokka,Toph, and Momo. 

“Xia, you’re alive!” Sokka cried, hopping off Appa and rushing towards her and pulling her into a hug.

“Careful, my burn still hasn’t been treated.” She lets out a pained laugh as he pulls away and his eyes drift down her body, horrified. Her uniform is still burnt off, and underneath is the still fresh burn. 

The next half hour is a whirlwind as she finds out Aang is alive and Toph metal bends the anti-bending device off her before Katara brings her to one of the rooms on the ship and uses water to clean and heal her burn. 

Even as she scolds Xia for being reckless, Katara still helps her change out of her uniform, promises to clean and mend it for her, sits with her as she eats, before blowing out the candles in her room. 

“Don’t worry, Xia, you can rest now. You’re safe. I’ll make sure Sokka doesn’t bother you until you have enough rest.”

Xia falls asleep quicker and easier. 

* * *

  
  


“Princess Azula!” A soldier yells, rushing into the control room.

“What?” His sister sighs, not even turning to look at the soldier. Zuko sees the fear in his eyes. 

“We just got a messenger hawk from one of the ships at the blockade, it got captured.”

“What did we lose?” Azula asked sharply.

The soldier lists off a few cargo and Zuko stops listening until he hears, “-it was also the ship the Red Fox was on.”

Zuko’s head whips back to the soldier, “Who captured it?” He snaps, before Azula could take over.

“The Water Tribe. The note says they’ve lost track of the ship.” The soldier says grimly, handing the scroll to Azula who’s eyes scan over it furiously.

Zuko storms off to his room and slams the door shut before shooting a fireball at the steel wall. He paces back and forth, muttering curses under his breath. He hates this stupid dance they’re doing. Zuko steps forward, Xia steps backward. Xia steps forward, Zuko steps back. Zuko rushes toward her, Xia falls off a cliff, puts on a mask and burns his heart to ashes. 

He feels so angry, but not even at Xia, or the people who took the ship.

He’s so angry because of the stupid relief he feels at knowing Xia dodges another fireball. She dodges a life spent to rot away in a cage or immediate execution. Zuko doesn’t need to worry about ordering the soldiers to treat her better or compromising with his father. 

He’s so angry because he realizes there is  _ nothing  _ he could do to keep her safe. That no matter what he wants, the safest place for her is as far away from him as possible.

And he can’t fix that. Zuko can’t turn his back on his father, his nation, and drop everything to help the avatar. 

The hopeful voice inside him reminds,  _ “But Xia did.” _

Zuko wonders...is she happy? Does she regret it?

* * *

Xia doesn’t know why she wakes up a few hours later, and she knows it’s not a full night’s rest but she feels well rested. She ties the green robe Katara gave her tightly before padding barefoot out of her room and to the top deck. The sky is a dark blue and she notes two water tribe men walking around as they scan the ocean. She waves at them as she makes her way to the front of the ship and leans on the rail, watching as the ship cuts through the water. 

Her hands trace the metal rail, faintly remembering the last time she was on a Fire Nation ship. They were days she dreamt of living up to her family name and being the Fire Nation general she was meant to be, unbeknownst to her the reality of conquest. 

* * *

  
  


_ “When I become a general,” Xia proclaimed, “I’ll stand here and make really good motivational speeches like you do, Dad!”  _

_ Her father grins at her with an amused smile as she stands at the front of the ship with her hands on her waist. “Oh yeah? You better start planning. Greatness takes time and cultivation, Xia.” _

_ “I wrote a few drafts at home, Zuko said they’re good but too long.” Xia smiled fondly at the memory of her best friend’s exasperated look. _

_ “I’m sure if you say them better than General Piao, the soldiers won’t mind if they’re a little long.” _

* * *

“Do all fire benders try to rise with the sun?” A teasing voice asked her.

Xia turned her head away from the view and watched as Sokka walked towards her  while offering some of his food. “Only the good ones.” Xia joked before eyeing the weird food he held out.

“Blubbered seal jerky.” Sokka said, tearing at the meat with his teeth.

Xia took the piece of meat, not biting it as she turned back to the horizon.

“The Fire Nation must really hate you...they were willing to let you die of infection before bringing you home.” Sokka mused. 

“It’s not my home anymore,” Xia said with a sad smile, “Do you know who I was before Shú Huí?”

Sokka thought for a moment, “If Chief Suzu’s story is true, you’re General Arjun’s daughter, you were training to be a general just like your parents.”

Xia nodded, “That, but...I was Zuko’s best friend too.”

“YOU WERE ZUKO’S BEST FRIEND?” Sokka yelled, looking to her in shock as she looked away in embarrassment. “I can’t even imagine it. How is someone like you best friends with an insane, hotheaded-”

“Do you think you can still trust me?” Xia asks hopefully.

Sokka’s blue eyes soften and he puts a hand on her shoulder, “Well..yeah. You’ve saved us twice now, both times from Zuko. You literally built up a whole persona on fighting the Fire Nation, how could I not trust you?”

Xia smiles gratefully, and takes a bite of the seal jerky. It’s not the worst thing she’s eaten. “I was worried that you’d hate me.”

“Not gonna lie, I’m still confused as to what you saw in him, but I’m not mad.” Sokka reassures with a chuckle as she gently punches his arm.

“Zuko wasn’t always like this, he used to be so gentle and sweet.”

* * *

_ “I was serious.” Zuko says as she puts away the invasion map. _

_ “I was too. I can’t always be careful, Zuko.” Xia says with a fond smile. _

_ “Not about that..well I mean I was serious about that too, but that’s not what I meant,” Zuko says quickly, his awkward nature making Xia’s smile shift into a softer one, “If I become the Fire Lord, I’ll do everything to keep you safe. No matter what.” _

_ “Zuko…” _

_ “I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life fighting,” Zuko’s voice cracks as he shuts his eyes, “I hate not knowing you’re safe. I hate that you have to spend everyday training and that one day you could disappear on the front lines and-” _

_ “Zuko.” She says a little more stern, grabbing his hand tightly and using the other hand to tilt his head up. “Do you think I’m weak?” _

_ “No!” He yelps quickly, “Xia, you’re one of the strongest people I know and-” _

_ “Then you need to trust that one way or another, I’ll always come back to you.” Xia says, holding both of his hands in hers.  _

_ “Promise?” Zuko asks, holding a pinky finger out. They both know it’s childish, but it’s how they had made promises all of their childhood. _

_ She links her pinky with his and smiles, “I promise, I’ll always come back to you.” _

_ Zuko locks his finger around hers and says quickly, “I promise to always protect you.” _

_ “Hey we didn’t agree to that!” _

_ “Too late, what’s done is done.” Zuko grins victoriously, “Guess I’ll have to become an even stronger bender than you and spend my life protecting you.” _

_ “ _ _ Lucky you.” Xia scoffs, gently swatting him with the rolled up parchment of invasion plans. _

_ “Lucky me.” Zuko agrees, and Xia can tell his smile is genuine. _

* * *

“Did he always have that scar on his eye?” Sokka asked.

Xia shook her head, “No, I was actually about to ask you about that.”

“No idea.” Sokka admits. 

“Well, it doesn’t really matter who we used to be.” Xia says, even as a light glaze of tears coat her eyes. “We both got what we wanted. He gets to go home a hero and his father’s pride, and I….I’m here eating really good seal jerky.”

“When the war ends, you should come back to the Southern Water Tribe with us! If you liked seal jerky, you’ll love Five Flavor Soup!” Sokka proposes. 

Xia is surprised at how easily she agrees.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the lovely comments, kudos, and bookmarks! I'm thoroughly surprised this story is getting any attention at all and I really appreciate it. I can't believe we're on chapter 11 now, my original plan was 6 chapters lol


	12. Chapter 12

The unconscious soldiers are stripped of their armor and piled into a boat that Katara sends towards the direction of the Fire Nation blockade, and that’s how Xia gets new armor. She creates her own hybrid uniform using some of the old pieces based off her mother’s uniform and some of the new, because Xia realizes she doesn’t want to look exactly like General Lijuan, she wants something unique that represents her too.

The man who had rescued her during the siege of the boat is named Bato and they combine their knowledge to learn exactly how to control the ship. Xia takes the time to meet everyone on board and it only takes a few days for people to look past her being a firebender. 

It’s a few days in as she sits in a circle with Pipsqueak, The Duke, the water tribe’s warriors, Momo, Appa Katara, Toph and Sokka that Xia realizes she doesn’t feel so lonely. She’s sitting in a circle of friends with a warm bowl of noodles, in the middle of the ocean, on the underdog side of the war...and she’s happy. 

Xia doesn’t want to let go of that happiness. She doesn’t want to feel so alone again.

Everyday, her and Sokka talk about the invasion plans. She answers all his questions about the Fire Nation’s battle tactics and their defenses, as well as the philosophy behind the training of a Fire Nation soldier. It brings up more scars than she cares to admit but she doesn’t stop, even as her heart seizes up as she realizes how powerless she’ll be during the day of black sun.

“You know, I probably won’t survive this plan.” Xia muses one day as her and Sokka look over their current plan lying on top of a wooden crate.

“What makes you say that? Is there something wrong with it?” Sokka asks worriedly.

“No it’s just...I’ll lose my bending the moment the solar eclipse hits.” Xia explains, “I don’t really mind dying but-”

“Do you really think any of us would just let you die?” Sokka snaps, looking at her with wide eyes.   
  
“We can’t really afford to worry about me when-”

“Of course we can.” Sokka interrupts, “Xia, your life matters just as much as anyone else on this ship. Knowing you’re the most disadvantaged, do you really think I’d put you in a position where you could die?”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Sokka,” Xia sighed, “but I don’t have a good track record for being protected.” She hates being so pessimistic but she learned long ago that the only person she could truly rely on, was herself. Her father tried to protect her, and it led to her falling off a cliff and faking her own death. Zuko promised to protect her, but now they were fighting against each other and he had no problem in watching her get burned.

Sokka seems to realize this and his eyes soften before suddenly lighting up. “You only know Fire Nation combat styles, maybe it’s time you learn new styles!” Sokka shoves away the invasion plans and leans forward with a grin, “Think about it! Right now we have a ship with at least one person from every nation! That’s 3 new fighting styles for you! You can start sparring with them and then you’re 3 times less likely to die!”

Xia isn’t sure about how right Sokka’s math is, but she agrees with him nonetheless. 

* * *

_ Zuko can see her clear as day. He can see the resolve in her eyes as she bends fire to protect Katara and Aang.  _

_ She’s so beautiful. He finds himself falling for the way her long black hair moves with her and the way the fire reflects in her black eyes as she moves with purpose.  _

_ There’s no mask to hide her away from him, Zuko sees Xia in all her glory. _

_ But he can’t control the way his fits raise, he can’t control himself as he charges energy into a deadly ball of flames. _

_ He wants someone to stop him. Why won’t anyone stop him? Why can’t he stop? He tries to yell at her to run, to stop him, to counter him, to do everything she can to get out of his way. _

_ His voice fails him, but his hands don’t. He’s going through the motions as he launches deadly flames from his hands, and he can’t look away. _

_ Her head turns and he can see the fear pure as day as they realize what he’s done. _

* * *

  
  
  


Zuko wakes up with a yell, sitting up quickly and breathing heavily. 

He buried his face into his hands, desperately trying to get his breathing under control. He knows it’s just a nightmare. For the past few nights, he keeps killing her in his sleep. He keeps losing control and murdering his best friend and he has to convince himself that he didn’t kill Xia. He didn’t burn Xia.

_ You didn’t stop her from being burned either.  _

He didn’t. He hurts her just as much in his nightmares as he does in real life.

And just like his nightmares, he can’t stop hurting her. 

_ Zuko’s eyes land on colorful streamers on the doorstep to Xia’s house. _

* * *

_ Did she have a party yesterday? Why didn’t she invite him? _

_ He tries to rack his head for anything her family could’ve been celebrating yesterday and when he realizes yesterday was her birthday and he had spent the entire day with Mai, he panics. He knows he’s rushing into her home empty handed but he’s running on pure guilt and fear as he makes his way to her room and knocks desperately.  _

_ “Come in.” Her voice is small and Zuko doesn’t hesitate to push his way in. _

_ She’s sitting on her bed, reading a textbook and his eyes drift to a letter on her desk. His eyes catch one the words “I’m sorry I couldn’t celebrate your birthday this year, the troop I’m training is-” and he realizes that her father wasn’t home and Xia had celebrated her birthday by herself. _

_ “I’m so sorry, Xia.” He says, sitting on her bed. _

_ She doesn’t yell at him, she only smiles softly, “It’s okay. The servants threw a small party for me and made all my favorite food.” _

_ “I-i lost track of time with Mai, I really didn’t mean to. But I’m here now, we can go to the market and I’ll buy you anything you want!” _

_ “Thanks but...I think I just want to stay here and read...alone.” Xia says, her eyes drifting away from his. Zuko knows she’s not okay. He knows she’s trying so hard not to break and he knows she doesn’t have it in her to be angry. _

_ “Didn’t you say you need new brushes? I’ll go buy you some!” Zuko offers. _

_ “My dad sent me some money for my birthday, I walked around the market and bought a new set for myself.” Xia murmured, “You looked really happy with Mai.” _

_ Zuko’s guilt feels worse and he doesn’t know how to make her feel better. Two people who mean the world to her weren’t there to celebrate her 12th birthday, and it was her first birthday without her mother. Zuko knows firsthand how much it hurts and he hates himself for making her go through that.  _

_ “Were you happy too?” Zuko risks asking. _

_ Her eyes flood with tears and she doesn’t look at him. “No, but it’s okay.” _

_ Zuko moves the textbook out of his way and hugs her tightly as she cries. _

* * *

  
  


Zuko used to think that forgetting her birthday and spending more time with Mai was the worst way he could hurt Xia.

He was so wrong.

Zuko knows he’ll be haunted by the sight of fear filled eyes marred by betrayal, he knows he’ll never forget her terrified scream.

This time, he doesn’t know how to fix things.

* * *

Even though weeks had passed since that fight with Azula and Zuko, no amount of time or healing was able to erase the scar from her body. 

Xia hadn’t had a problem with self esteem until now. Black eyes shutting shamefully at the sight of the burn. She had given up so much for the war, but up until then..the wounds had been emotional. 

Xia felt ugly.

But even then she still reassured Aang when he apologized for failing her. 

Aang hadn’t failed her, her home did.

  
  


When she goes with her friends to a village in the Fire Nation and they steal clothes drying outside of someone’s home, Xia avoids anything that exposes her midriff. 

“I know I can’t see, but I’m sure with or without the scar you’re pretty.” Toph says.

“It would give me away.” Xia tries to say.

“You’re lying.” Toph huffs, “It’s a part of you, Xia, you can’t spend your life hating something that proves you survived. Besides, I think it’s cool, and if anyone says otherwise they can take it up with me!”

Xia goes back and picks a tube top she had been eyeing earlier, and her friends reassuring smiles shoo any insecurity away. 

Her eyes still drift away when she catches her reflection but it’s nowhere near as intense as the shame she felt before. 

* * *

“I’m sorry you had to get hurt for me.” Aang apologizes as she helps him with his homework. She still can’t believe he’s going to school in the Fire Nation, but Xia had learned quickly that Aang is stubborn and to let Katara talk sense to him and to only step in when Katara gives her a pleading look. 

“It wasn’t for you, it’s for the world. I’d do it again.” Xia reassures before turning back to the essay prompt and helping him answer it the way a perfect Fire Nation student would answer. 

“You must’ve been a really good student when you were in the Fire Nation.” Aang exclaims as he continues working.

“I was okay.” Xia admits.

* * *

_ “You aren’t successful because of any skill, talent or even luck.” Her mother says sternly, “You are successful because of your effort.” _

_ Xia glances down at her textbook, parts of the pages smudged by tears, a product of hours of studying.  _

_ “You can’t afford to be tired, Xia, your honor, our honor, relies on your success.” Her mother glares, pointing at the textbook, “Do you think it was easy for me to pull myself from poverty? Do you think it was easy for me to become a general?” _

_ Xia drops her head obediently and says, “No, mother.” _

_ “Do you think anyone will chop off their own neck to save yours?” _

_ “No, mother.” _

_ “Then don’t you dare bring shame to all your family. Push yourself.” Her mother warns before leaving her alone in her room. _

* * *

Xia doesn’t sleep until Aang finishes his homework, she sits in front of him and sips tea, answering each of his questions patiently and with a smile.

She doesn’t move until he finishes his essay and holds it up to her proudly.

“You did really well, this will blow their topknots off.” Xia says with a smile, “You should be proud of yourself, you worked so hard and made a masterpiece.”

He grins back excitedly and quickly hugs her before going to play with Momo. 

“Thanks, Xia.” 

She only smiles back gently.

* * *

This was supposed to make him happy. Zuko finally had his honor back. He was finally home, Mai still wanted to be with him,  _ he was a literal war hero _ . He wasn’t doomed to search the world for the avatar. He didn’t have to fight his best friend.

This was the life he wanted but why did he feel so empty.

Oh spirits, Zuko feels so empty. 

He doesn’t know where he’s going or what his plan is, but he finds himself knocking on a door he hadn’t visited in years.

Because he feels so lost and doesn’t know who to tell, it’s too early to visit his Uncle and he doesn’t feel right about seeing Mai.

“Prince Zuko,” General Arjun says surprisedly, “It is an honor to be in your presence.”


	13. Chapter 13

“You don’t know how to dance?” Aang asked, and her friends looked at her with equal shock.

Xia’s eyes drift to the fire in their cave. “Well, it’s not really a Fire Nation thing.” Xia admits. 

“So what do people normally do for fun in the Fire Nation?” Katara asked.

“Please don’t say nothing.” Sokka begs.

“I- well... I don’t really know.” Xia admits. She can’t remember what people did for fun in the capital.

“Do you remember what made you happy?” Toph asks.

Xia remembers a lot of things. 

* * *

_ “My mom says it’s better to feed the turtle ducks seeds, bread isn’t really good for them” Zuko mentions, placing a bag of seeds between them. _

_ “Okay! Did you hear that, little guys? You’re being fed top quality seeds.” Xia giggles, looking at the curious turtle ducks.  _

_ “Don’t tell them that, I’m not sure if they’re top quality.” Zuko stressed, watching as the turtle ducks swam closer to them. _

_ Xia was about to retort until they saw an older turtle duck pulling the bag of seeds away, “Well, they think it’s top quality.”  _

_ Xia laughed as Zuko rolled his eyes.  _

* * *

_ “It takes a bit of practice, but concentrate on flowing energy into your flame. But if you think it’s getting too big, just inhale to bring the energy back in.” Xia explains while gently cradling a small steady ball of fire. _

_ Xia smiles as she watches her best friend close his eyes and exhales, a tiny spark of flames dancing in his hands. _

_ “It’s so small.” Zuko complains. _

_ “Just close your eyes and keep breathing, you’re doing great!” Xia encourages.  _

_ Slowly they watch the flame grow and Xia is beaming with pride. _

_ “I’m doing it!” Zuko laughed, as the flame flickered happily above his hands. _

* * *

_ “Race you to the harbor.” Zuko challenges. _

_ “Are you sure? Last time I was blocks ahead of you” Xia grins. _

_ “You got lucky.” Zuko huffs.  _

_ “Oh yeah, well count it down.” Xia retorts, preparing to run. _

_ “On go.” Zuko agrees, “Ready, set, go!” _

_ They dodge people as they fly through the streets of the capital, laughing as they caught each other's eye. _

* * *

  
  


_ “Hi! My name is Xia! What’s your name?” She asks, practically bouncing with excitement as she looks at him with a wide smile. She’s holding a red ball and the boy with bright golden eyes smiles a little shyly at her. She’s excited in a way an only child with busy parents and no friends, could get. This could be her first friend. Xia really hopes he wants to stick around and play a game. _

_ “I’m Zuko! Do you wanna play catch together?” He asks, equally excited.  _

_ They spend hours playing together, it’s one of the best days of her life. When she gets home, she tells her parents about how cool Zuko is and how excited she is to see him the next day. She follows her favorite servants around telling them all about how the boy with bright gold eyes said she was pretty. _

* * *

  
  


“I was happy when I was with my friends, it didn’t really matter what we did..just that we were together.” Xia admits with a fond smile. It’s a mix of hurt and happiness to think of those times..but even then, Xia never wants to forget everyday she spent with Zuko.

A dried fire lily in her pocket and memories are all she has left of her best friend. 

She’ll treasure them until the end. 

* * *

In Ba Sing Se, Seiko is busier than ever.

The Fire Nation’s invasion had left many wounded, her clinic is packed and she works around the clock. She barely has all the supplies she needs, even with volunteers helping gather materials.

Most of the people she helps has a dead look in their eyes, the realization that the Fire Nation truly took everything from them taking root.

The world lost the avatar.

The Earth Kingdom lost the Red Fox.

Seiko lost Xia. 

Seiko had heard they marched Xia through the streets with a burn wound to her side, and she knows it’s only a precursor to the pain that awaited in the Fire Nation. 

It devastates but Seiko has no choice but to push through. 

The facade breaks when her last patient for the day gifts her an old Fire Nation issued scroll with a picture of Xia and the Red Fox. Seiko knows the poster doesn’t bring good luck and doesn’t want to believe there’s a spirit to worship...but she doesn’t hesitate to hang it up in her apartment, next to the spear from Chief Suzu and over a bowl of oranges. 

The silence in the apartment, the altar for a child’s innocence and life, combined with her habit of setting out a second bowl on her makeshift dinner table brings Seiko to tears. 

* * *

“Congratulations, Prince Zuko! Not many can say they bested the avatar and bring immense glory and honor to their nation.” General Arjun continues as he leads Zuko into the house.

It’s overall the same, except in one of the corners of the main room, a new shrine sits. The portrait of Xia sits undisturbed, with incense placed at the base and various childish drawings and notes displayed around it. There’s even fresh flowers around it.

“You must’ve travelled all over the world,” The general continues before his eyes follow to where Zuko’s staring intently, “Xia would envy you. She used to be so curious about the world.”

Zuko’s eyes drift back to the golden eyed general and he realizes how much the man has changed. His voice isn’t booming, crows feet pull at his eyes, and at the mention of Xia his eyes seem to glaze over lightly. 

And then Zuko realizes...the general doesn’t know his daughter is alive. Only Ba Sing Se knows she was marched away, and no one knows that the ship was captured. His sister didn’t want to inspire hope in “fools” so no one could know that Xia was alive. 

The general seem to snap out of his grief, a small smile gracing the brown haired man’s face, “I’m a terrible host, huh? Come, sit, I can make tea.” 

Zuko sits on one of the cushions in the room obediently, “Don’t you have servants to do that?” 

“I gave them the day off,” Arjun explains, “I’m the only one living here, and it’s hard to make a mess when I spend most days training troops or paperwork. I only have about 3 servants left too, it’s hard to create jobs for such an empty place.”

As the general leaves to prepare tea, Zuko can’t take his eyes off Xia’s shrine in the corner. His eyes zero in on the various letters Xia had written, her handwriting was adorably messy as a child. The letters are about how much Xia loved her father, how she wanted to be like him and her mother, how thankful she is, how she hopes to be as honorable as him etc. But it’s all enough to make Zuko inhale deeply as he sees the little drawings she made of a big powerful man in Fire Nation armor holding a little girl’s hand or of a little girl standing between a man and lady in armor. 

It’s a piece of frozen time. There’s no mention or hint of the Red Fox here. Only a little girl who loves her family and wants to make them proud. 

He can imagine her at her desk, pouring her heart and soul into every letter and drawing. The image of her poor posture and teeth gently teasing her lip is ingrained in his mind.

General Arjun sets a pot of tea on the low table and pours two cups carefully. “May I ask why you’ve visited today?” His eyes are emptier and dull, but there’s no malice in them. Zuko’s heart twinges when he realizes the general was using Xia’s favorite tea set. The chip in General Arjun’s cup lets Zuko know that he had been using it faithfully for two years. 

Zuko knows he shouldn’t tell him but it feels so right. It’s not fair to Arjun. 

“I met the Red Fox in Shú Huí.” Zuko says and he watches as a bit of life return to the general’s eyes and his hand clenches tighter around the cup of tea.

“Really?” He asks breathlessly.

“Xia isn’t dead, General.” Zuko says, “I met her three times over the past few months. Once at the edge of Shú Huí, twice in Ba Sing Se.”

The general stares at him in pure shock, his hands shaking and eyes becoming glazed again. His massive shoulders tremble as he continues to stare in disbelief. But Zuko can still see how much the general wants to believe him.

“That can’t be,” Arjun insists, “I saw the soldier pull them off the cliff. No one could’ve survived the fall.”

Zuko shook his head and told him everything. From protecting Shú Huí, being captured by Ngoc, living with a healer named Seiko, finding her in Ba Sing Se, fighting her, and her disappearance. Zuko hadn’t even realized he was tearing up as he told the story until his voice cracked. The general hung onto every word, golden eyes filling with tears before his head dropped into his arms folded on the table. Zuko could hear sobs coming from the general. 

“I know you must be angry-”

“How could I be angry?” The general said lifting his head from his arms, a teary smile gracing his face, “My daughter is alive. Somewhere out there she’s alive, well, and stronger than ever. You have no idea how happy I am.”

“She betrayed the Fire Nation.” Zuko reminded.

“With all due respect, Prince Zuko,” General Arjun began, “I don’t care. Before I am a general, before I am a citizen of the Fire Nation, I am a father.”

“You can’t tell anyone she’s alive. My sister won’t hesitate to-”

“I won’t.” General Arjun agreed, “It’s in my daughter’s best interest that I continue my role as a grieving father, but as soon as your father gives me a break I will search the entire world for her.” Tears are still streaming out of the general’s eyes, but a bright smile graces his face. 

“Xia is alive. My daughter is alive. I should’ve known, she’s always been so full of surprises.” General Arjun mused.

Zuko spent the rest of the afternoon answering each of Arjun’s questions about his daughter. How tall she was, how she sounded, how she looked like, her fighting style, anything and everything Zuko could think of. 

He sees the cracks in the general’s being slowly repaired in every detail and the light in his eyes getting brighter and brighter.

It’s the first time since returning that Zuko felt right. 

* * *

“Isn’t it nice, not being forced to clean disgusting rivers?” Sokka says blissfully as they sit in their makeshift camp and watch as Aang, Toph, and Katara help the fishing village.

“I definitely don’t envy them.” Xia agrees, flopping onto the ground next to Sokka.

They talk about everything and nothing as they cloud gaze. 

“Does it feel weird for you to fight against Fire Nation soldiers?” Sokka asked as a cloud that looked like a koi floated above them.

“It used to,” Xia admitted, “one minute you’re dreaming of leading them, the next you’re turning against them. But now it just feels..normal. It probably helps that I don’t really consider the Fire Nation home.”

“Valid, valid.” Sokka agrees. “So where is home now?”

“It’s a tie between Seiko and with you guys.” Xia smiles as a cloud that looks like Appa approaches after the koi. “Do you miss home, Sokka?”

“Everyday.” Sokka confirms, “Even if it’s miles and miles of ice and snow, it’s home.”

“Let’s hope Aang ends the war quickly, so we can both go home...and so I can visit and try that soup you were talking about.” 

* * *

Shu Jing is breathtaking and Xia feels cheated. All of those years of vacationing in Ember Island when they could’ve visited Shu Jing, Xia wonders why her mother and father never thought of visiting here. The beach felt like nothing at the sight of greenery and waterfalls. 

At the swordsmith, Xia’s eyes scan each weapon carefully. The group is letting her and Sokka each buy a weapon, they’ll both need it as the Day of Black Sun approaches. Really, Xia wished she had the spear Chief Suzu gave her. To take a piece of the people she gave years of her life to in the biggest battle of her life, it only felt fitting. But the beautiful spear sat in her and Seiko’s apartment, behind the fallen walls of Ba Sing Se. 

“Do you know how to use all of these?” Sokka asks as they wander the shop.

“Definitely not, but I definitely recognize them.”

Her eyes land on a simple pair of dual broadswords.

* * *

  
  


_ “Don’t think of them like two halves, think of them as a whole.” Zuko advises while correcting her posture. _

_ “Wow, that’s so philosophical.” Xia teases. _

_ Zuko scowls, “Piandao said so, now run through the drill again.” _

* * *

Xia tells herself it’s not out of nostalgia as she buys the broadswords. It’s poetic justice, she reasons. 

Xia trains on her own while Sokka trains with Piandao.

When he returns, Xia takes him by the elbow, “Even if you never become a master, I hope you know I’ll never think of you as useless or less than.”

Sokka smiles gratefully and sheaths his new sword, “Really?”

“When I was still set on becoming a general, I kept trying to figure out what made a good leader, but it was hard because every definition and quality seemed to contradict each other,” Xia smiles softly and lets black eyes meet gentle blue eyes, “I realize now there’s no one definition of a good leader, but I know a great leader is someone who’s half as good as you.” 

Sokka’s smile widens slightly and puts a hand on her shoulder, neither of them say anything for a bit as they go back to stargazing.

“Xia?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s so over for the Fire Nation once we hit the battlefield together.”

Xia grins and taps her fist against his. 

* * *

  
  


When Mai kisses him and Zuko can’t bring himself to kiss her back, he realizes there’s something really wrong with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I don't say it often enough but thank you so much for reading and supporting my work. It means the absolute world to me! Btw, I'm planning on making a Sokka one shot~ I hope you guys will give it a shot once it comes out!


	14. Chapter 14

_ “Welcome home!” Xia cheered, hugging her best friend, “How was Ember Island?” _

_ Zuko is a few shades darker than she remembers and he grins as he holds out a sand dollar. “It’s the same,” he shrugs, “finally managed to find a sand dollar without cracks, add it to your collection.”  _

_ “No way,” Xia breathed, “Are you serious? Do you know how hard it is to find a perfectly, uncracked, shell?”  _

_ “Yeah...that’s why I brought it back for you.” Zuko laughed, taking her hand and gently wrapping it around the delicate white shell. _

* * *

  
  


It’s not crashing waves, shores decorated with fragments of shells, or a paradise filled with her people just enjoying life. It’s a small body of water enclosed in a rock formation and Xia is the most relaxed she’s felt since becoming the Red Fox. The water is the perfect temperature and she can barely hear what any of her friends are saying as she floats on her back with her ears tilted just under the surface and closed eyes. She’s not worried about her scar being exposed by her two piece attire, she’s not worried about the war, she’s weightless. 

But in the gentle silence of the water...she hears it clear as day. It’s loud. It’s terrifying. She can’t get away.

“CANNON BALL!” 

Her eyes fly open and she sees Sokka leaping from a rock towards her and Xia  _ screams _ . 

The water is suddenly lifting her up and holding her above surface as Sokka creates a devastating flash. She looks over to see Katara grinning a few feet away as she holds Xia above the surface on top of a column of water.

“Awww, Kataraaaaa, I’ve been waiting forever to do that!” Sokka complained as he resurfaced. 

Xia laughed and stuck her tongue out at him, before she realized Katara was lifting her higher.

“Wait, Katara-!” Xia didn’t get to finish as Katara dropped her into the water.

Xia emerged to her friends laughing and Xia couldn’t help but laugh too. 

* * *

The day is warm and Mai feels nice against him as the umbrella shades them away from the sun. Zuko sees a perfectly intact conch shell, and his first idea is to give it to Xia. He’s not sure if she has this one in her collection yet. Zuko tries to remember the contents of the wooden box with blue wave carvings decorating it, but his best friend’s collection had been growing steadily over the years. Zuko can’t even remember the last time he gave her a shell.

It had been years since either of them went to Ember Island. They both had been so busy on-oh right. They had both been so busy in a war on opposite sides, prepared to burn the other to their death if it meant a step closer to victory.

It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and he quickly tries to get rid of the memory of the warmth of her hand as he wraps a sand dollar in it. 

His hand shoots out the conch and offers it to his girlfriend.

Mai isn’t a fan. Zuko lashes out. 

He doesn’t know why he’s so angry.

* * *

  
  


Xia drifts asleep next to Appa, the soft fur of the sky bison makes her feel so warm and safe. The last thing she remembers is Sokka’s sleep mumbling and Toph muttering, “Can’t he sleep quietly?” before drifting into snores. 

Xia awakes to Toph saying something about a metal man and she’s still rubbing sleep out of her eyes as a beam of light shines down on Aang before turning into a loud resounding explosion that they’re narrowly dodging. 

She’s rushing as the man towering above them sends back a fiery explosion back at Toph and Xia just barely counters to blast, her feet still slide on the ground slightly as the strength of the explosion pushes her back.

They’re no match, and they take shelter behind the rock. “Did he just shoot flames out of his forehead?” Xia snaps as an explosion rattles the rock.

“This is crazy!” Sokka agrees, “How can we beat a guy who blows things up with his mind?”

Sokka ends up flying them out on Appa. They can’t beat him. Not today at least.

“I get the feeling he knows who we are.” Katara says, as Appa soars above the clouds, they’re safe for now.

“Do you know him?” Sokka asks, glancing at Xia, “That was some serious firebending.”

“I’m not even sure if that’s Fire Bending, I’ve never seen anything like that.” Xia admits, her heart still racing while she tried to piece together whatever she just saw.

“You can’t shoot fire from your forehead?” Toph asked, her voice shaking slightly as she teased.

Xia shook her head before remembering Toph couldn’t see, “Never tried.”

* * *

Even after yelling his heart out to Mai, Azula, and Ty Lee, and completely ruining a party...Zuko still doesn’t feel right.

He finds himself wandering to empty shores and watching dark waves roll in. The moon illuminates everything but Zuko still feels like he can’t see things clearly. 

All the people he had ever gone to when he felt lost, were all far beyond his reach. His mother, Uncle Iroh, his best friend. 

And it was his fault. The stupid feeling in his chest, the disconnect between his brain and his heart, his mother’s disappearance, his uncle in a cage, and his best friend lost at sea-Zuko knows it’s his fault

It only worsens his pain as he sits in the sand, letting the waves caress his feet as he heaves a heavy sigh. He’s so angry because he has everything he wanted and he’s still not happy.

He hasn’t been happy for years. He can pinpoint where it started, he can pinpoint where it worsened...and he can pinpoint where it paused. 

It starts with his mother’s disappearance. It worsens with his best friend’s death. It pauses in Shú Huí. It pauses in Ba Sing Se. 

* * *

_ She relaxes in his arms and gently wraps an arm around his neck. _

_ Zuko feels his heart race and he holds his best friend a little closer as they walk back to his and Iroh’s apartment. _

_ Her voice is soothing as she spins her story and it sounds like something out of a show by the Ember Island Players. But Zuko..is happy. _

_ And he finds himself falling in love...with the story of course. _

* * *

Zuko closes his eyes and the sound of the waves fade away and the dull throb of his heart stops echoing in his ears, he replays that moment in Ba Sing Se over and over in his head. It’s only temporary, but as he hears Xia’s voice in his mind, Zuko feels right. He doesn’t feel empty. He doesn’t feel alone.

* * *

General Arjun knows Fire Lord Ozai favors him, and he knows it’s not because he fights side by side with his men on the battlegrounds or his motivational speeches that can send a man running to their death, it’s because of his obedience. It’s because of how he averts his eyes and agrees to achieve anything the Fire Lord requires him to.

So he does what the Fire Lord expects of him, he kneels before the throne and doesn’t dare ask why he demanded his attention from his troops.

“General. I assume you’ve heard the rumors of your daughter. Even under my daughter’s orders, it seems the soldiers still aren’t able to keep their mouths shut.”

General Arjun had heard it said the Fire Lord could read minds. He tells himself he doesn’t believe those silly stories but nevertheless he speaks the truth.

“I have.” Arjun confirms, keeping his eyes shut and his head bent to the ground. 

“You must be so relieved, maybe angry, but I know most of all you’re scared.” The Fire Lord says.

Arjun doesn’t have to look to know his lord smiles cruelly.

“You know it’s only a matter of time before someone slips and someone brings her home. You wonder how I’ll judge her, and you know there’s nothing you can do to save her.” The Fire Lord continues, “After all, you couldn’t save her two years ago. You couldn’t save her mother either. Tragedy seems to follow you, Arjun.” It’s false pity in his voice, and it only adds more sting to the truth than Arjun cares to admit.

“My lord,” General Arjun begins, disliking how thick his throat feels and the sudden weight of his armor, “I am but a humble servant in your service, a vessel of your every command. But I pray, my lord, that you spare my daughter’s life. Xia is all I have left.”

“You beg so pitifully, look me in the eye.” Fire Lord Ozai commands. 

Arjun looks up and begs, “Please, my lord, I will do anything if it means my Xia can live. If there’s anything I’ve yet to offer, it will be yours if you spare my daughter’s life.”

“I’ve seen your loyalty over the years, Arjun, there’s nothing left of you to give.” Fire Lord Ozai says with a smirk, “Instead, I’ll leave your daughter’s survival in her own hands. A mercy that no one else has shown her.”

“My lord, may I ask what you mean?” Arjun dares.

“If your daughter returns to the Fire Nation, drops to her knees, begs, apologizes, and pledges her entire existence to me… then I won’t let her be executed.” The Fire Lord explains.

Fear doesn’t leave Arjun, because there are many ways to hurt someone without killing them. He saw what the Fire Lord did to his son, he saw what happened to the worst prisoners, and he knew his daughter had humiliated the Fire Nation gravely. 

But...he knows his daughter has a spirit stronger than any soldier he’d ever met. 

He knows that if anyone can withstand any torture by the Fire Nation, it’s Xia. 

So Arjun doesn’t argue.

“Thank you, Fire Lord, that is more than I could ever dream.”

The general is dismissed, but he feels more conflicted than ever.

* * *

Xia kneels on the ash covered ground of Roku’s island and runs a finger over the ground. Aang sits a few feet away, visiting Roku in the spirit world and Xia looks around in awe.

“Uhhh, Xia?” Sokka asks.

“I never thought I’d see Roku’s island in person, this is amazing.” Xia admits.

“It’s...just ash.” Sokka points out.

“You heard Toph, an entire village buried in ash!” Xia objects. Momo wanders over to her and pokes the ground while looking at her expectedly. “I know right, it’s amazing.” She agrees with the winged lemur, even as he only blinks.

Hours pass and Aang eventually stands up..before squatting and making the most strenuous expression.

“Do they have bathrooms in the spirit world?” Katara asks as Xia stifles a laugh.

“As a matter of fact, they do not.” Sokka chimes.

“How would you know that?” Xia asks, turning to him curiously.

“I once got dragged into the spirit world for a day. It was a rough 24 hours.” Sokka replies nonchalantly.

“Sounds rough.” Xia said, giving him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. 

It’s sunrise when Aang returns from the Spirit World. Xia isn’t surprised at Sozin’s betrayal. Mercy is a weakness, it’s something ingrained in their culture. 

It still stings as Toph says, “It’s like these people are born bad.”

Xia’s eyes drop to the ground in immense guilt. Not anger. The world has every right to hate them. Sozin is a scar their nation wears, one that denotes them as  _ those  _ people. She wants to believe Toph is wrong, Xia wants to believe she’s different, but Xia can’t.

Her shell collection sits in her room, in a box stolen from the Water Tribe.

Her armor is sourced from stolen land and slave labor.

Her existence is a product of two people who profited off the destruction of cities and lives.

Her education, her ideals, her skills, her bending, it all comes from a drive to be the greatest general.

Xia is made to kill, to fight, to sacrifice. She’s a product of war. How could she be an exception to a nation full of people born bad, when she flourished from the crimes they commit daily?

She’s pulled out of her thoughts with Sokka’s gentle squeeze on her shoulder and Aang looking her in the eye as he says “No, that’s wrong.” 

Aang continues, “I don’t think that’s the point of what Roku showed me at all.”

“Then what was point?” Sokka urges.

“Roku was just as much Fire Nation as Sozin was right? Xia is just as much a Fire Nation as Zuko too. If anything, their story proces anyone’s capable of great good and great evil.” Aang says, “Everyone, even the Fire Lord and the Fire Nation, have to be treated like they’re worth giving a chance.”

Xia’s heart races in her chest and she feels tears rush to her eyes at the thought.

It’s the last thing she expected to hear…

“And I also think it was about friendships.” Aang finishes.

“Do you really think friendships can last more than one lifetime?” Toph asks softly.

Xia does feel a tear roll down her cheek as Aang says, “I don’t see why not.” while he and Katara each take Toph’s hands. 

Xia thinks she might sob until she watches Sokka turn away and goes, “Well Scientifically speaking, there’s no way to prove that-”

  
  


Katara cuts in, “Oh Sokka, just hold hands!”

Sokka barely hesitates before taking Katara’s hand and then reaching out for Xia’s hand with a small smile.

Xia smiles, wiping away one more potential tear before taking his outstretched hand. 

All her life, Xia had been willing to die for things. Honor, glory, the Fire Nation, the war, her family, Shú Huí, the world. Xia feels like she can see clearly. It’s there on the edge of the cliff facing the ocean, holding hands with her new friends, Xia realizes she doesn’t think about dying for them. She thinks about living for them.

Xia is willing to live the rest of her life for them.

It’s an uphill battle from here. She knows that when they step away from this cliff, they’ll be thrust into a world of things that shouldn’t be happening and peace can’t come until liberation and justice. She’ll have to face her best friend, face her past, not as the Red Fox, but as Xia. 

She turns her head slightly to look at her friends and suddenly...nothing seems impossible.


	15. Chapter 15

  
  


Xia gets to try Five Flavored Soup earlier than expected, at Hama’s Inn. Aang mutters to her to stay away from the ocean kumquats, Xia doesn’t listen and regrets it later. 

Her stomach shifts in the way it always does when someone talks about the crimes of the Fire Nation. She listens with growing nausea as Hama talks about how she was stolen and the damage the Fire Nation did against the Southern Water Tribe.

_ You could’ve been like those soldiers.  _ Her mind taunts cruelly. She doesn’t feel so hungry and tears sting at her eyes.

She barely touches her dinner and steps outside of the Inn. Xia gazes into the forest into the distance as her mind drifts back to the Fire Nation.

* * *

_ After her mother’s funeral, her favorite servant Eiji holds her hand as they walk home. Her father stays to talk with the guests, a mix of fellow generals, soldiers, the royal family, and the rest of Xia’s family.  _

_ Her white robes feel heavy and tears still sting at her eyes as they get further and further from her mother’s funeral.  _

_ “Would you like a cup of tea? Or something to eat?” Eiji asks, with pity in his eyes.  _

_ Xia shakes her head and walks away towards her room before remembering her manners, “Thank you, Eiji.” She chokes out before continuing to walk away. _

_ In her room, she hugs her pillow tightly and she cries. _

_ Hours later, her father is gently knocking on her door before letting himself in. He doesn’t say anything as he sits on the edge of her bed, looking at her with a soft expression.  _

_ “Have you ever wondered what the point of the war is?” Xia asks, sitting up and wiping her cheeks. _

_ “It’s to spread the glory of the Fire Nation to a hopeless world. They need our nation, Xia.” Her father says gently, “You haven’t seen the horrors of the world out there. The other nations are uncivilized, uncultured, they need the Fire Nation’s guiding light.” _

_ Xia feels immense sadness rise in her, “If that’s true, why would they kill Mom?” _

_ “They’re lost, Xia, so very lost.” Her father explains before moving closer to her and wrapping her in a hug. _

_ “So many people have died for this war,” Xia sobs into her father’s robe, “is it even worth it?” _

_ “That’s up to us,” Her father says grimly, “we need to win to ensure no one died in vain.” _

* * *

It’s such a lie. Xia knows it’s a horrible lie. She knows her mother wasn’t killed by savage, aggressive, monsters; she was killed by scared people who knew of the horrors of the Fire Nation. 

She loves her mother, but Xia knows she can never forgive her. She can never forgive her father and she can never forgive herself. 

  
  


“Xia?” Sokka asks, jogging in front of her and looking down worriedly. “Are you okay?”

“How can you even look at me?” Xia sighs, “How can you even forgive me?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you realize how much the Fire Nation has taken away from your tribe?”

“Well, duh.” Sokka scoffs, “The Fire Nation has taken away nearly everything from my tribe. Your point?”

“I’m from the Fire Nation.” Xia reminds.

“Okay.”

“My parents were top generals in the Fire Nation.”

“Yeah, Chief Suzu’s story covered that.”

“I was training to be one of those generals.”

“I know. That’s why you’re a really skilled warrior with some pretty good bending.”

“Knowing all of this, how can you even be friends with me?” Xia asks frustratedly. 

Sokka’s eyes soften, “Xia, you can’t choose where you’re from. Unless you suddenly just turn against us and murder Aang, I’m pretty sure I can’t hate you.”

Xia blinks and still can’t believe how...accepting Sokka is. 

“Now come on, you didn’t finish your Five Flavor Soup and it’s pretty delicious! Also, you only ate one ocean kumquat, that’s barely anything.” Sokka huffs, dragging her back inside.

* * *

  
  


After Old Man Ding’s story, they race to the mountain. Toph leads the way she hears people scream and Xia lights the way for her, Aang, and Sokka. They leap into the mountain entrance and Xia rushes forward with light cradled in one hand. 

They find prisoners in chains, and Aang points out how strange it is for spirits to make prisons. 

“‘I thought they just took them to the spirit world.” Xia mentions.

“They normally do.” Aang confirms. 

The prisoners tell them about a witch, a normal old woman who controls people like their puppets.

They need to stop Hama. Xia stays with Toph to free the prisoners while Aang and Sokka run to find Hama.

* * *

Hama is locked away and Katara cries when she finds out she’s a bloodbender and Xia’s heart twinges.

“You know,” she says holding Katara’s hand, “you can’t really change what makes you powerful, but you can choose how to use it. You don’t need to be ashamed.”

Katara gives her a watery smile, and things may not be perfect but for now, they’re okay. 

* * *

“You have to at least teach me the basics! How can I fight Ozai when I don’t even know the basics?” Aang begs and Xia looks down at him with worry. She knows he hasn’t slept, his eyes have heavy baggage, his posture is terrible, and his breathing is uneven. The Day of Black Sun is three days away, and Aang is a mess. 

In him, are all the ingredients to disaster for Fire Bending. 

“I won’t teach you when you’re like this, Aang,” Xia says firmly, “If I let you bend fire like this, you’ll burn yourself if not others.”

“But, Xia, you promised-”

“I’ll teach you when you’re calmer and get at least 8 hours of continuous sleep. Fire is dangerous and powerful, it will overpower you if you can’t handle it.” Xia says as Aang groans. 

“That’s okay, Aang. The eclipse will block all firebending anyway, you don’t need to know any.” Sokka says nonchalantly, “Plus it’s a stupid element.” 

Xia shoots a fireball his way, “I’ll remember that next time you want a campfire.”

Later, Xia is woken up by Aang screaming at her to learn how to cartwheel, because in his dream she didn’t know how to cartwheel out of the way from a swordfight and Zuko killed her. Xia didn’t have the heart remind him she knew how to fight with a sword, so she did cartwheels as the sun rose. 

Her worry only worsens when she sees Aang talking to Momo...in Momo’s language. 

* * *

_ Zuko sees Xia standing a few feet away from him at the edge of the cliff in Shú Huí. _

_ He knows it’s a dream. _

_ But he feels so lost so he allows himself to forget. _

_ “Xia?” He says quietly. _

_ “Hey, Zuko, come to watch the sunset with me?” Xia asks, her mask is clipped to her belt so he can see her smile. Zuko nods and steps closer to her. They’re side by side now and he can feel her next to him. “Did you have a good day today?”  _

_ Zuko tells her all about his day. How he was the perfect son and prince for his father, how he even got to sit at his father’s right hand. _

_ “I’m really happy for you.” Xia says honestly, black eyes meeting his easily.  _

_ “I’m not.” Zuko admits, “It’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of..but for some reason I still feel so empty, I still feel so lost, I was everything my father could ever want...but it wasn’t me.” _

_ “Well, who are you?” Xia asks. _

_ “I don’t know.” Zuko says hopelessly, looking away from the trusting black eyes of his best friend. “I did everything I had to do to get rid of the avatar and earn back my honor, but now...I feel like I did everything wrong.” _

_ “So you know where you went wrong, you know what makes you feel wrong,” Xia summarized, “so fix it.” _

_ “It’s not that simple, Xia,” Zuko smiles sadly, “Uncle Iroh is in jail, you’re lost at sea, and I’m not even sure if the avatar is really alive.” _

_ Xia crosses her arms and looks at him with challenge in her eyes, “Change isn’t easy but do you realize how capable you are? Zuko, you are strong. You have the strength to change the world.” _

_ Zuko looks down at her and slowly realizes she isn’t joking, “You want me to betray the Fire Nation?” _

_ “I want you to be happy, I want you to be able to sleep knowing you did the right thing.” Xia counters. _

_ “If that were true, you would’ve helped me.” Zuko snapped. _

_ “You know that’s not true.” Xia said darkly, “If being home, with your family, at the expense of the world doesn’t make you happy, do you think it would make me happy?” _

_ Zuko’s glare softened, “No.” _

_ It’s silent for a few minutes as Xia turns away from him and looks at the setting sun on the horizon. _

_ “I don’t want us to fight anymore.” Zuko says, grabbing her hand tightly in his. _

_ She looks up to him with a serious expression, “Then don’t.” _

_ “I won’t.” Zuko promises, “I know this is dream..but do you think you could ever forgive me?” _

_ “It may take some time,” Xia admits, “but I think I can.” _

_ Zuko nods before glancing down at the rocks stabbing through the violent sea. “Does it hurt?” _

_ “At first,” Xia admits, “but it gets easier and it feels right.” _

_ “On go?” Zuko asks. _

_ Xia nods with a grin. _

_ “1, 2, 3, go.” Zuko says, and they both jump off the cliff.  _

* * *

Zuko wakes up and he knows exactly what he has to do. 

* * *

  
  


Xia feels like she’s back in the Fire Nation as Sokka, Aang, Katara, and Toph lead her around and introduce her to various members of the invasion fleet. It’s like when her mother and father would introduce her to aunts and uncles that Xia isn’t even sure she’s related to by blood. 

“I just wish they would wear pants.” Bato mumbles to hear after she meets Tho, Due, Huu from the Foggy Swamp Tribe. 

“The Boulder didn’t realize spirits could look so...alive.” Toph’s friend says looking down at her suspiciously. 

“Oh, Xia is alive, the version we know is just to scare the Fire Nation.” Toph explains. 

“You guys have met a lot of people during your adventures.” Xia notes. 

“If you ever meet a guy named Chong, do not let him sing you a song.” Sokka warns.

Xia chooses not to question further. She also chooses not to tease Sokka after he panics in front of the entire invasion squadron while trying to explain the plans.

Instead she focuses on securing her armor, making sure her dual swords are spotless, and redoing her topknot. Then, her eyes land on her mask. It’s the last thing she has from Shú Huí. The last thing to remind her who she really was and where it all started. It doesn’t hide her away, it’s an extension of her true self. It’s only fitting that she wears it in one of the biggest moments of her life. More important than all, it’s the last thing she has to remember someone who helped her when she needed it the most. 

* * *

  
  


_ Xia debated how to make her mask. She didn’t know how she wanted the mask to look like, she just knew she needed one to hide her face to make it easier to convince the Fire Nation that she was dead. _

_ “What type of mask would you make, Miss Seiko?” Xia asked, looking at the older woman at the hearth.  _

_ “I think I would do a fox,” Seiko muses, “people don’t like them because they’re so sly and cunning, but really they are so helpful. They keep the pest problem low and mostly stay out of people’s way.” _

_ “Foxes are pretty cool. They’re a really pretty color too.” Xia agrees. _

_ Truthfully, Xia isn’t really a fan of foxes and she’s never seen one in person, but Miss Seiko likes them so they must be pretty cool. _

_ “Could you help me?” Xia asks quietly. _

_ The older woman smiles and sits next to her, together they create a beautiful and scary fox mask.  _

* * *

Smiling at the memory, Xia slips the mask onto her face and ties the red ribbon. When this war ends, she’ll find Seiko and thank her for everything.  After the mask, her hands drift over her heart. Underneath the armor is a small bag of dried fire lily. 

“Are you ready?” Katara asks as Momo bounds up to Xia and runs to her shoulder.

“More than ever.” Xia grins, under the mask before petting Momo.

Her eyes drift to the sea as she boards the boat. This was never the way she imagined going home, but it’s what had to be done. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this far! I'm so excited to write about the Day of Black Sun!


	16. Chapter 16

Xia hadn’t seen the Gates of Azulon in years and when she does, she’s immediately whipped into years of manipulation and propaganda. A time where she really did believe Sozin, Azulon, Ozai, were the greatest men to walk the earth and how lucky she was to have them as leaders. She’s older now, and the gates don’t feel as awe inspiring as when she was 13 standing on her father’s ship as they sailed to Shú Huí.

Especially as the dragons shoot nets from their mouth that combust into flames. 

She runs with everyone below deck for the first phase of the Invasion plan. 

Xia smiles at Sokka as his father praises her, all while patting a seasick Toph’s back. She watches Katara waterbend nearby, propelling the submarine forward. Xia had never seen anything like it, and she has no idea how Sokka came up with this. 

When they resurface to get air, Aang meets them on top of the submarines. They get one more group hug in and Xia tells Aang to be careful...but not too careful.

“Everyone listen up,” Hakoda calls, “The next time we resurface, it’ll be on the beaches. So stay alert and fight smart. Now break time’s over, back in the subs!”

* * *

_ “Some of us who stand on this boat today will never see the great Gates of Azulon again,” General Arjun begins, “instead you will see Firelord Azulon himself as he welcomes you into his paradise for your valiant efforts. Each of us are prescribed different destinies, as soldiers of the Fire Nation, it is your duty to chase your destiny with fierceness and fire. Do not fail me today. Is that understood?” _

_ “Yes, sir.” A chorus of men affirm while Xia wonders why she feels so scared. _

* * *

Xia doesn’t feel scared. Even as her and Sokka nod at each other grimly while walking back into their submarine. 

“Everyone in position. Earth benders, into your tanks. This is gonna be a rough ride!” 

Xia pats Toph on the back as she joins the Earth benders. 

Minutes from now, they’d break surface and secure the capital. Xia re-ties her mask and stands ready at the front of the door, right next to Sokka. She knows when the eclipse starts that her position shifts to the center of the group, but until then Xia will deflect and reduce as many flames as she can at the front.

They’re trusting her with their lives. Xia won’t let them down. 

Xia stands on top of the front most tank and sends back blasts of fire and shoots explosions at her nation’s smaller tanks, she’s even able to burn one battlement. It’s really silly that they aren’t fireproof. 

In the sky, she sees Katara, Sokka, and Hakoda riding an Appa in red and gold armor, they’re taking out the rest of the battlements. 

Bato catches up to her tank and waves, it’s her signal to stick with him as the eclipse gets closer. She jumps down and fights alongside him. Xia barely knows him, but she trusts him with her life. 

In wedge formation, they’re able to break through the tower and march closer to the capital. Xia watches as the Fire Nation falls back and it’s something she never thought she’d see. 

Aang comes back and Xia bounds over to Sokka, Katara, Toph and Hakoda.

The Firelord wasn’t at his throne.

Sokka thinks he has a bunker, Xia tells Toph possible locations. 

They know it might be a trap..but Aang is determined to try.

“I’ll go with you.” Xia offers as Toph, Sokka, and Aang hop on Appa.

“You need to stay as far away from Ozai as possible.” Sokka orders, “Stay here with the rest of the invasion fleet, it’s the safest place you can be.”

Reluctantly, Xia nods, because this is Sokka’s plan. She trusts Sokka. 

“No running off,” Bato says gruffly, “The eclipse is coming, you need to stay near me.” 

“Thanks Bato.” Xia calls over the sound of ballistas.

They march up the ramp leading to the middle of the volcano and Xia stays by Bato’s side even as he ventures to the front. 

“The eclipse is starting, put on your eclipse glasses!”

“You might want to fallback.” Bato says as they put on their glasses. 

“I go where you go.” Xia says.

“Hakoda and Katara might need you, and my job is to keep you away from the front lines, you want Sokka to chew my head off?”

“Be safe.” Xia says, before falling back to Hakoda and Katara. 

Bato only nods grimly, but she can see the smile under his helmet. 

She’s marching into her city and her heart twinges. It hadn’t changed a bit.

Xia can see her house. 

“It’s so weird being back here.” Xia admits as she helps Katara carry her father.

“It’s a nice city.” Hakoda compliments.

“It’s a little bland.” Xia laughs and then as they pass a street she stops and quickly deflects a burst of flames with her own. Both the flame she deflected and her own flame are dwindling, the eclipse is starting. But Xia pulls away and jumps into a defense position as Katara and Hakoda stop.

In the shadows between two buildings is someone she knows she isn’t ready to see. 

“Xia, get behind me!” Katara says as Hakoda grabs Xia’s shoulder.

“Get out of here, now! He can’t hurt me.” Xia says.

“Xia, this isn’t the time for-” Hakoda is cut off by the general stepping out from between the buildings.

“I heard rumors that my daughter was alive, but I never knew we’d meet each other this way.” General Arjun said darkly, in his hand- a sword. 

“Stay away from her!” Katara yelled, pulling away from her father before Xia held a hand out to stop her.

“Don’t worry, Katara, I’ll meet up with the rest of the fleet as soon as I take care of him.” Xia said, not letting her eyes waver from her father’s gold eyes, “This is my fight, and my fight alone.”

“You better hurry.” Katara says as she slowly leaves with her father.

“I’ll make this quick.” Xia promises, and she tries not to let herself be affected by the flash of sadness in her father’s eyes.

“You need to leave now. You need to get as far away from the city as you possibly can.” Her father says as Xia takes her swords out of their holsters. 

“Not a chance. Not when we’re finally about to kill Firelord Ozai and end this reign of terror.” Xia says, “The avatar is alive, and as we speak he’s hunting down Firelord Ozai.”

Her father doesn’t reply instead lunges at her with his sword and she quickly blocks. Her heart feels so heavy because this is one of the last people she wanted to fight. This is the person who raised her, taught her so much, inspired her, she loved her father so much. They go back and forth, each taking turns on the high ground. 

“It was stupid of you to come here.” Her father grunts as he swings at her overhead.

She blocks with both of her swords before kicking him in the stomach and ducking away as he stumbles. 

“What? Wanted to live a kush life without seeing your failure?” Xia taunts. 

It was foolish of her to think he’d still accept her. 

It’s when he strikes the ground at her feet that she realizes...he doesn’t want to fight her either, he’s pushing her back.

“You’re just trying to keep me away from the rest of the fleet!” Xia snarls as she disarms her father and cuts his hand in the process. She has her swords crossed in front of his neck, they’re like scissors, she could end his life here. 

But he didn’t even leave a scratch on her. 

* * *

_ “Daddy, can we watch?” 6 year old Xia asked excitedly as people filed into the dueling grounds for an Agni Kai. Her father is giving her a piggyback ride around the city as her mother sits in a meeting with generals.  _

_ “I don’t think that’s a good idea, sweetheart,” Her father notes, “but I have something more fun we can do!” _

_ “Can we spare?” _

_ “Do you mean spar? No, I have something even more fun we can do!” Her father grins.  _

_ She bothers him with “Are we there yet?”, but her father only laughs and patiently says no. _

_ When he stops in a field of red flowers, Xia looks in wonder.  _

_ The strong brown haired man sits in a patch of grass surrounded by flowers and Xia sits in his lap and looks in wonder as the wind blows the flowers gently. _

_ “Daddy, what are these?” _

_ “Fire Lilies, they only bloom once for a few weeks every year.” Her father says as he picks a few flowers. _

_ “What are you doing?” _

_ “I’m making you a gift, why don’t you grab a few so you can learn to make one too?” _

_ Her father makes her a flower crown and places it on her head. _

_ Xia’s is nowhere near as nice but she looks at it proudly as she stands up and places it on her father’s head neatly.  _

_ “You look really pretty, Daddy!” Xia cheers. _

_ “You do too, sweetheart.” General Arjun says with a laugh.  _

* * *

Her father looks up at her grimly. He doesn’t try to back away from her blades and Xia wants to cry because… she still trusts him. 

“Your submission or your death.” Her father finally sighs, “Firelord Ozai wanted to see you beg for mercy in exchange for your life. But he couldn’t promise me he wouldn’t hurt you.”

Xia’s eyes soften behind the mask and she’s tempted to pull back her swords.

She doesn’t.

“You’re not my failure, you never were and you never will be.” Her father says, looking up at her with a mix of pride and sadness, “I’ve only ever wanted to keep you safe, Xia, that’s why you need to trust me and run while you still can.”

Xia tightens her grip on her swords, gently closing them until she hears her father gasp and the edges touch his throat. Even then, he doesn’t look scared, not even surprised. It only makes Xia want to cry more. 

“My duty is to the avatar and my friends,” Xia begins, “If you aren’t willing to fight against your own nation, then you need to let me fight for both of us.”

“There’s nothing I can say to stop you, is there?” Her father asks bitterly as she pulls away her swords while a thin line of blood appears on his neck.

She shakes her head and walks behind him, Xia doesn’t look back. 

“Xia.” Her father says, and she pauses but still doesn’t look. She doesn’t trust herself. “When you and your friends win...come home for dinner. You know I don’t like to eat by myself.”

Xia smiles under her mask and before she knows it, she feels tears rushing down her face. “I will, but only if there’s dumplings.” 

* * *

“What did I tell you about running off?” Bato scowled as they finished sweeping the city, “Hakoda told me what you did.”

“I know it’s your duty to protect me,” Xia admits, “and I’m sorry, but I couldn’t let my father hurt anyone and I’m the most qualified to fight him.”

Bato’s scowl lightens, “When Sokka finds out-”

“I’ll take the blame and say I snuck away.” Xia grins as they join Hakoda and Katara. 

“What should we do, Hakoda? Shouldn’t something have happened by now?” Bato asks.

“I don’t know.” Hakoda admits, “But now that the eclipse is over, I expect we’re doing to see some Firebenders any minute.”

Xia opens her palm and watches as flames dance in her hands. 

It’s at the sound of machinery that Xia and Bato look up and see...red war balloons.

“This can’t be good.” Xia says as her eyes widen at the black war balloons in the rear. 

“They’re back!” Katara says as Appa begins his descent. 

“It was all a trap!” Sokka says hurriedly, “Azula knew we were coming, and she’s plotted out every move. We just got to get to the beach as fast as we can. If we can make it to the submarines maybe we can get away safely.”

“They’ve got air power, but so do I!” Aang exclaims, “I’m gonna do what I can to slow them down.”

Katara gets on Appa and helps Aang. 

“Everyone, let’s get back to the subs!” Sokka orders and quickly they’re running. 

“Xia, stay near me, I’m not letting you get taken away!” Toph orders, grabbing her hand as she runs. 

Xia smiles and squeezes her hand as she keeps up with the earthbender.

They hide under cover as bombs rained down, there were too many war balloons for Katara and Aang to stop.

“They’re headed for the beach.” Aang says slowly before his eyes widen, “They’re going to destroy the submarines!”

“How are we all gonna escape?” Sokka sighs and she sees the fear in his eyes as he looks at her.

They aren’t, Xia realizes with a sinking pit in her stomach. 

_ Your submission or your death.  _ Her father’s voice echoes in her mind. Xia knows she could never bring herself to surrender...at least she gets to see her mother. 

“We’re not.” Hakoda agrees.

“Then our only choice is to stand and fight.” Sokka concludes fiercely, “We have the Avatar, we could still win.”

“Yes, with the avatar we could still win on another day.” Hakoda argues, “You kids have to leave. You have to escape on Appa together.”

“What?” Katara cries, “We can’t leave you behind. We won’t leave anyone behind!”

Hakoda kneels down and holds Katara, “You’re our only chance in the long run. You and Sokka have to go with Aang somewhere safe. It’s the only way to keep hope alive.”

“The youngest of our group should go with you. The adults will stay behind and surrender.” Bato says strongly, “We’ll be prisoners, but we’ll all survive this battle.”

“I’ve got some experience with the Fire Nation prisons.” Haru’s father steps up, “It’s not going to be easy, but we’ll get by.”

Xia’s heart twinges as everyone begins their goodbyes while they watch their submarines get destroyed in the distance. As she watches everyone say their goodbyes and the adults stand strongly, unafraid of the future that awaits them...Xia knows she’s standing amongst the bravest people she’s ever met. 

Xia walks up to Bato and removes her mask, smiling up at him sadly. “Thanks for protecting me, Bato, please be safe!” She begs.

The taller man smiles and pulls her into a hug, a strong hand gently smoothing down her hair.

“You too, kid, no running off.” He chuckles. Xia notes he doesn’t agree to be safe, she hopes he starts the best riots...but she won’t give him ideas. 

“My father sometimes gets put on prison duty,” Xia says as she breaks away, “he’s not a cruel man. His name is General Arjun, he has brown hair and gold eyes. Tell him your friends with me, and if he doesn’t believe you...tell him that I’ve been craving dumplings lately. Knowing him, he’ll feel obligated to help you.”

The warriors smile and agree, Xia hopes her father gets put in charge of them. She knows that despite everything...her father is a good man before he’s a general. 

She boards Appa as Aang cries. Xia gives him a quick hug before sitting in the back with her new ragtag team. She’s sandwiched between Toph and The Duke, and across from her, Sokka looks devastated. 

Aang stands up and speaks to their invasion fleet one last time. He thanks them for their bravery and strength and promises to make it up to them.

Xia knows Aang keeps all his promises.

But still, tears sting her eyes when The Duke leans into her looking downcast so Xia wraps an arm around his shoulder and holds him tightly. Sokka hangs his head and Xia reaches with her free hand to gently touch his ankle. “Sokka,” she says quietly, when sad blue eyes meet hers she continues, “Thank you for keeping me safe.”

He smiles back weakly, “At least I did something right.”

“You did everything right,” Xia reassured, “but today just wasn’t the day.”

As they break through the clouds and silence hangs over her group...Xia wonders if Zuko is celebrating, as the greatest army she’s ever met is locked away as prisoners. 

* * *

In the midst of clouds, everything is calm. Zuko feels his adrenaline waning. He’s so tired. From standing up to his father, redirecting lightning, and losing his uncle..Zuko is exhausted as he controls his war balloon to follow the sky bison.

But then he sees long black hair dancing in the wind and Zuko feels alive.

More importantly...he knows he’s doing the right thing.

Because for the first time in years...he’s on Xia’s side again.

That’s where Zuko is meant to be. 

* * *

_ “You’ll stay with me, right?” The young prince asks his best friend as adults flood the Fire Palace for the evening party. _

_ “Of course, I’ll always follow you.” Xia grins. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you're enjoying!


	17. Chapter 17

“Well if you ask me,” Sokka begins, “the new plan is the old plan. You just need to master all four elements and confront the Fire Lord before the comet comes.”

The group looks to her and Xia sighs, “Aang, I can only teach you the basics, I wasn’t even skilled enough to fight Azula. After the basics...we’ll need to leave and find you a master.” It’s something Xia wasn’t ready to admit. She’s been away from her nation for years and any firebending influence, everything she knows is trapped to her last lessons. It had been so easy to promise Aang she could teach her firebending because that was before she had to fight someone stronger than a normal soldier.

Scowling, Aang scoffs, “Oh yeah, that’s great. No problem, I’ll just do that.” 

“Aang, no one said it was going to be easy.” Katara soothes.

“Well it’s not even gonna be possible. Where am I supposed to get a firebending teacher?”

“We could look for Jeong Jeong!” Katara offers

Xia’s eyes widened. They met  _ The Deserter _ . They met the  _ Jeong Jeong. _ A literal hero in Xia’s eyes, even if her parents had cursed his name when she was younger. Xia pushes down the feeling of jealousy. 

Aang ends up flying away with Momo, leaving them to rack their heads for a Firebending master. 

* * *

Zuko’s impersonation of his uncle and his sister don’t work. He can’t figure out what his uncle is trying to say...even as he’s impersonating him. And Azula’s is...Azula, so it never had a chance. 

“Okay but what would Xia say?” Zuko mumbles before getting into his best friend’s headspace. Zuko clears his throat before pitching his voice into something higher but calm with a hint of bubbliness and just the right amount of confidence. “Don’t worry, Avatar, I’ll keep you safe! You can always count on me!”

Zuko groans before dropping to the ground, “I guess I’m not that good at impressions.”

* * *

Xia is convinced Aang is regressing. They’re chasing him through the temple on Appa while Aang glides away with Momo. Aang barely listens to them and when they finally land, he wants to show them the giant pai sho table. 

“Oh, and you’re gonna love the all day echo chamber!”

“I think that’ll have to wait.” Toph says grimly after they get off the flying bison.

Toph points behind them as Appa steps away and Xia’s freezes as she meets gold eyes. 

“Hello, Zuko here.” He says with a smile and wave.

Xia immediately raises her hands and feels as her friends get ready for a fight too. She feels...disgusted. Zuko is  _ smiling  _ before a fight _.  _ It reminds her too much of Azula.

Zuko spreads his arms out  _ still wearing that really creepy smile  _ “Hey, I heard you guys flying around down there so I just thought I’d wait for you here.” Zuko shrugs and suddenly Xia sees the nervous twitch of his smile as his eyes meet hers. It fades for a few moments as Appa roars before...licking him? She vaguely remembers Aang mentioning the sky bison being a good judge of character (Xia has been victim to that lick as well) and Xia is beginning to doubt him. Xia loves and respects Appa, but his good graces could be bought by slathering yourself in food. 

Zuko wipes off the saliva and continues, “I know you guys must be surprised to see me here-”

Sokka snaps, “Not really, since you’ve followed us all over the world.”

“Right...well, uh,” her best friend-sorry her former friend stutters with a smile wiping off his face, “Anyway, what I wanted to tell you about is that I’ve changed. And I uh, I’m good now. And well I think I should join your group. Oh and I can teach firebending to you.” 

Xia’s eyes widen after she understands the crown prince’s rambling. There’s no way...this can’t be happening. He’s lying, he has to be. He’s done this before. To both her and Katara. Xia reminds himself that this is an act. The boy in Ba Sing Se was an act. Her best friend  _ died _ . This boy with a scar on his face isn’t the Zuko she knew before her death. It’s a soldier of the Fire Nation who would do anything to capture Aang. 

So even as his eyes wander to her pleadingly, Xia’s eyes stay cold.

“You want to  _ what _ now?” Toph yells what everyone is thinking. 

“You can’t possibly think any of us would trust you, can you?” Katara challenges, “I mean, how stupid do you think we are?”

“Yeah, all you’ve ever done is try to hunt us down and capture Aang!” Sokka agrees and she feels him tensing up against her. 

Xia can’t say anything, she’s struggling to process what’s going on in front of her. She’s exhausted, from the invasion, from fighting her father, from the hike to the Air Temple, to chasing Aang, and now the universe throws this at them?

“I’ve done some good things!” Zuko exclaims, “I mean I could’ve stolen your bison in Ba Sing Se, but I set him free. That’s something!”

Appa corroborates his story with a lick. Xia can’t help but feel a little betrayed by the sky bison. 

“Appa does seem to like him.” Toph points out.

“He probably just covered himself in honey or something so that Appa would lick him.” Sokka proposes, “I’m not buying it.”

“Even if he did save Appa, it’s one good thing out of a sea of bad decisions.” Xia says bitterly, not allowing herself to feel guilt as Zuko’s eyes flashed with hurt.

* * *

_ “I wish you died that day.” _

* * *

Zuko didn’t look guilty the day he wished for her death.

She watches the crown prince close his eyes and bow his head, “I can understand why you wouldn’t trust me and I know I’ve made some mistakes in the past-”

“Like when you attacked our village?” Sokka cried

“Or when you stole my mother’s necklace and used it to track us down and capture us?”

“Or when you tried to kill me when I wouldn’t help you catch Aang?” Xia adds. 

“Look, I admit I’ve done some awful things,” Zuko continues, “I was wrong to try to capture you, I was wrong to try to kill you, and I’m sorry that I attacked the Water Tribe. And I never should’ve sent that Fire Nation assassin after you. I’m gonna try to stop him.”

Xia’s eyes widen at the last part. 

Her best friend had put a bounty on their heads. She doesn’t know why she’s so surprised. She should’ve known his honor wasn’t enough to satisfy him. A literal monster.

“Wait, you sent Combustion Man after us?” Sokka yelled

“Well, that’s not his name but-”

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to insult your friend.” Sokka mocks, Xia can’t help but smirk and look over at Sokka fondly. 

“He’s not my friend!” Zuko has the nerve to say annoyedly and the smirk wipes off Xia’s face as her black eyes dart to his.

“That guy locked me and Katara in jail and tried to blow us all up.” Toph yelled.

Xia expects Zuko to lash out any minute. To yell until he got his way. That’s what he always does when things slip out of his control. 

* * *

_ “Why do you even have to go if you aren’t even fighting? This is so stupid and dangerous!” Zuko yelled, throwing his hands up as he turned away from Xia. _

* * *

Instead she watches as he closes his eyes and bows his head in shame.

She feels her breath hitch and she takes a step back because...it’s so out of character. 

Sokka glances at her worriedly. 

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” Zuko asked, turning his attention to Aang, “You once said you thought we could be friends. You know I have good in me.”

Aang looks to them for guidance but Xia only looks away as Sokka shakes his head.

Aang tells him to leave but Zuko steps closer, flames dance in Xia’s hands as Sokka threatens Zuko with his boomerang.

It hurts. Xia is so hurt because she doesn’t know what to believe anymore.

It’s everything she’s ever wanted, for her and Zuko to be on his side, to hear him apologize and she wants to trust him. She wants to trust her best friend.

Then her mind flashes to his cold eyes as she’s marched through Ba Sing Se as his prize. How he tried not to look at her as her and Iroh waited to board separate boats. Of the hatred in his eyes during the first time they fought, how he was so convinced that justice would be from imprisoning her and branding her as a traitor.

It’s not a pain she can just let go of. 

Zuko tries to give himself as a prisoner and it makes Xia sick to her stomach.

She’s not like him. They’re not like him. They don’t deal solutions through revenge. 

Even then, her heart still twinges as Katara shoots him with water. Her traitorous heart still wants her to reach out to him and make sure he’s okay, help him up from the ground. 

But he didn’t do that for her. In the Earth Kingdom, after years of thinking she was dead...Zuko had knocked her to the ground, ripped off her mask, and called her a traitor, he dealt in absolutes as he demanded her submission.

Xia tries to remind herself even as something tells her to go after him as he walks away sopping wet and depressed looking. She shouldn’t feel conflicted, it should be so easy for her to hate him. 

Tears of frustration start to sting at her eyes and she turns away from the group and holds herself tightly, as she tries to compose herself. She’s doing breathing exercises Iroh had taught her when Sokka puts a hand on her shoulder and gives her a sympathetic smile. 

“Don’t let him get to you.” Sokka warns.

“He’s too good at it.” Xia groans while turning back around to face the rest of the group.

“I know.” Katara says with a small smile.

They stand in silence for a few minutes, tossing everything that just happened through their minds before Katara breaks the silence. “Why would he try to fool us like that?”

Forever a strategist, Sokka says, “Obviously he wants to lead us into some kind of trap.”

“Which we won’t fall for,” Xia agrees, “emotional manipulation is key even in war.” 

Katara talks about everything Zuko said in Ba Sing Se and Xia can’t help but feel guilty.

Because she isn’t wrong.

Zuko had lost his mother, the most important person in his life. 

* * *

_ The day Zuko becomes the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, Xia watches him break down into sobs. _

_ First his cousin, and now his mother. _

_ Xia can’t think of anything to say that would fix all of this. _

_ So she holds him tightly and lets him cry. _

* * *

Katara reminds them that Zuko made his choice.

A choice that left Xia’s body ruined forever and the world under Fire Nation rule. A physical reminder of all the reasons why Xia shouldn’t hesitate to fight him next time he shows his face. 

Xia forces herself to carry her anger, even as Aang confesses how Zuko once saved him.

_ He saved you in Ba Sing Se only to ruin you a few days later _ . She reminds herself. 

When Katara calls Zuko a liar, Toph speaks up.

“Actually, he wasn’t lying.” the black haired girl says.

Sokka snaps back but Toph continues, “I’m just saying that considering his messed up family and how he was raised he could’ve turned out a lot worse.”

“He could’ve turned out a lot better too, look at Xia!” Sokka argued.

“My family wasn’t messed up!” Xia huffs crossing her arms. 

“Right, because good fathers bring their daughters to war.” Sokka rolled his eyes.

Before Xia could retort, Katara is already cutting in, joking about giving Zuko a reward for not being the worst he could’ve been. 

“All I know is that while he was talking to us, he was sincere.” Toph offers, “Maybe you’re all just letting your hurt feelings keep you from thinking clearly.”

It forces Xia to take a step back, even as her friends all turn against Toph. Because Xia knows she’s right. Xia knows everything she’s said and thought since seeing Zuko has been dominated by her own emotions. But was it wrong to think by her emotions?

“You’re all ignoring one crucial fact.” Toph points to Aang, “Aang needs a firebending teacher. Xia isn’t nearly as good as Zuko and we can’t think of any other person to do the job. Now one shows up on a silver platter and you won’t even think about it?”

“I’m not having Zuko as my teacher.” Aang says, stepping closer to Katara and Sokka joins him while agreeing. 

Xia stands between her divided friends and she doesn’t know where to go. She knows in her heart Toph is right...but then another part of her is  _ terrified _ because he’s not the boy she knew in the Fire Nation. He’s a volatile uncontrolled flame who keeps taking and taking. He’s someone Xia wanted to trust with her life but she just couldn’t. Zuko is full of ulterior motives and contradictions. 

But Toph said he was telling the truth and Xia trusts Toph. 

Xia tries to put a gentle hand on Toph’s shoulder only to be shaken off as she storms away, “I’m beginning to wonder who’s really the blind one here.” Toph snaps

Xia doesn’t eat that night. She sits at the edge of the cliff and looks at the bottomless void below. She wishes she could let it all go. All the feelings that plague her, memories of his betrayal, and all of those nights she spent crying over the boy she thought she knew. 

Her hand reaches into her armor and takes out the little satchel of dried fire lily. 

Back then, it had been so easy for Xia to say yes to anything he asked. It had been so easy to imagine a future with him.

It became a little muddied as she watched Zuko break his promise and fall in love with Mai,but even then...Xia couldn’t imagine a life without him.

Then Shú Huí happens. Xia is left in a strange place forced to become a sort of hero at the price of well..everything. 

* * *

_ “Don’t you want to come in for dinner?” The nice woman Seiko asks as Xia waits at the docks with all her stuff. _

_ Xia shakes her head, “No, my best friend will be here soon!”  _

_ “Your best friend?” _

_ “Prince Zuko,” Xia confirms, “he’s probably really worried so he’ll probably send someone to find me! Any day now, there’ll be a ship on the horizon so I want to be ready!” She’s so confident Zuko will find her. He always finds her. Whenever they played hide and seek, Xia could never win because Zuko knows her better than anyone. Just as easily, he can pick her out of a crowd of people with the same hairstyle because Zuko knows her. _

_ He always finds her because he knows her, he must know she’s alive. _

_ “Well..okay. I’ll bring you dinner.” Seiko offers.  _

* * *

_ “It’s getting late. I set up a space for you to sleep.” Seiko offers, and it’s tempting. The cold air chills Xia to the bone, but she waits at the dock with her feet dangling off the edge and a little fire cradled in her hand. _

_ “Thank you, Mrs. Seiko, but I need to be here so Zuko’s ship can find my light.” _

_ Seiko leaves but then comes back with a blanket that she wraps tight around her shoulders. _

* * *

_ On the fifth night of sitting on the docks with dinners brought by Seiko and warm blankets wrapped around her shoulders, Xia’s eyes fill with tears as they scan the empty waters. _

_ Mrs. Seiko stands behind her and gently runs a hand through her black hair and Xia can’t help but whimper. _

_ Teary eyes drift up to the older woman who looks down at her sympathetically, “There’s no one coming for me, is there? There’s no one coming to bring me home?” _

_ The woman gives her a warm but sad smile, “I’m here to bring you home, Xia.” _

_ With one last look at the dark horizon, Xia stands up and holds the woman's hand tightly as they walk back to the little hut.  _

* * *

“Hey...are you okay?” Sokka asks, sitting next to her and holding out a bowl of rice.

“I’m not hungry.” Xia says, tucking the fire lily back in its pouch and into her armor.

“That wasn’t my question...but you still need to eat.”

He slips the bowl of rice into her hands and Xia stares down at it intently as she tries to find the right words. 

She can’t, but Sokka looks at her with patient eyes and a serious expression. So Xia just says what’s on her mind.

“After we took back Shú Huí, I waited at the docks everyday hoping Zuko would find me.” Xia admitted, “I told myself that if he found me I’d apologize and follow him everywhere and we could go back to who we used to be.”

“But you didn’t,” Sokka says softly, “You didn’t stay by his side and you didn’t beg for his forgiveness.”

Xia barely nodded, “I didn’t. Finally I got to see him for the first time in years and it was the worst way possible. After we fought, I kept wondering if there was ever a time we’d be on the same side again if we could go back to who we used to be... and now he’s here and he wants the same things I do...and I know I shouldn’t trust him so easily but-”

“Well duh, do we need to go through the list again?” Sokka scoffed.

“He didn’t look like Prince Zuko, he looked like my best friend!” Xia finally exclaims, “He didn’t get mad, he didn’t lash out, he just accepted everything and kept trying...he looked just like the boy I used to know.”

Sokka frowns before taking a deep breath, “You know I’ll always have your back, Xi, but just a few days ago-no minutes ago- we were talking about how he was a master emotional manipulator. I don’t think it’s a good idea to jump to any conclusions.”

“I know,” Xia sighs, “but what if he really has changed?”

Sokka’s eyes lock onto her, and she can see the same turmoil in his eyes. She can see him genuinely considering everything she’s said and it makes Xia relieved to know that even if he doesn’t have all the answers, he’s willing to listen to her and just sit with her. 

“Well, could you really trust him again?” Sokka asks.

* * *

“She hates me.” Zuko admits to himself as he glances at the stars. He’s not sure why it takes him this long to realize it, but Xia hates him. He feels his heart accelerating and Zuko knows he’s panicking. 

He knew it would be hard to gain the group’s trust but he didn’t consider how hard it would be to get  _ her  _ trust. He didn’t realize he’d have to face hurt black eyes and the deep scowl on her face. It’s sitting in his campsite that Zuko finally realizes how badly he messed up.

This isn’t something that could be fixed with the most heartfelt apology and all the things he knew she loved. No. Zuko had literally unraveled years of friendship between them. Every ounce of trust and every ounce of love, her full smiles and laughter...they would never be directed at him again. 

Zuko’s hands start shaking as he collapses to the ground and feels his breathing picking up. He feels himself losing composure and feeling afraid for the first time since he’s left the Fire Nation. He couldn’t lose her, not again. Not after the years he spent, convinced his best friend was dead. Not after finally finding her. Not after giving up everything to go after her and the Avatar. He’d take anything. He’d take her screaming at him, scowling, calling her every terrible name in the book, he’d let her get away with anything if it just meant keeping Xia in his life.

_ But she’s not like that! _ A panicked part of him screamed.

* * *

_ “You can’t ignore me forever.” Zuko huffed as his best friend continued to study while not looking in his direction. Yelling hadn’t worked. Apologizing hasn’t worked yet. Buying her things didn’t work. He’s on his current task of annoying her until Xia at least looks at him. Instead Zuko sits on her bed and watches as she throws herself into studies, furiously taking notes as she pretends Zuko didn’t exist. _

_ That’s how Zuko knows she’s extremely angry and not ready to forgive him. _

_ But even then, Zuko sits in her room and pesters her. Playing with her hair, asking her what different things are, pulling up a chair next to hers and watching as she took notes, poking her, because behind it all he’s terrified. He doesn’t know what’s going through her mind and he can’t read her when she’s like this. It’s scarier than a physical wedge between them because it’s not something Zuko can just burn away or push.  _

_ Instead all he can do is wait helplessly until she’s ready, and Xia is more patient than him. It could take years.  _

_ Of all the things she could do to him, this was the worst.  _

_ “Xia, I’m really scared.” Zuko finally admits as he leans on her, “I-I don’t know how to fix this.” He feels tears pricking at his eyes and he’s gently grabbing her red sleeves. “Can you just say something? Anything?” _

_ It’s finally then, the hand holding the brush stops and a heavy sigh leaves his friend. She doesn’t move and Zuko is terrified she’ll go back to writing and ignoring him. _

_ “I’m still mad.” Xia finally says, looking at him with a frown. _

_ “I figured.” Zuko says with a small but worried smile, “You could try yelling at me? Or I’ll let you punch me.” _

_ “That wouldn’t make either of us feel better, hurting you doesn’t make me happy.” Xia pouts. _

_ “Then why did you ignore me this whole time?” Zuko argues. _

_ “I don’t want to say anything mean.” Xia admits. _

_ “Is there anything I can do to fix this?” Zuko asks, hoping he doesn’t sound like he’s begging. He really doesn’t want her to say time and space. He could handle anything except for that. _

_ “Let’s take a walk. Maybe that can make us feel better.” Xia offers, standing up from her desk and stretching. _

_ Zuko immediately stands with her and feels himself beam as she loops their arms together. _

* * *

No she was always the one to walk away when they’d begin to fight. Zuko can’t help but wish she was just a little more vengeful. 

She was always the one to be patient and pull away from things that angered her. Where Zuko was overt with his anger, she was quiet and kept it inside and expressed it through quiet determination and that’s what frightened Zuko. 

Zuko could spend his life begging for her forgiveness and if she couldn’t trust him, if she couldn’t get over her anger, Xia could just as easily spend her life walking away from him. 

He’s terrified at the idea of Xia being done with him because Zuko knows what he wants.

He wants to help the avatar.

He wants to apologize to his Uncle.

And finally, Zuko just wants to be a part of Xia’s life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!


	18. Chapter 18

Momo seems to sense when someone needs a little extra comfort before they sleep.

According to him, it’s Xia’s turn. The winged lemur curls up next to her as she sits in her bedroll unable to sleep. 

“Momo, Toph hasn’t come back yet.” She says, gently poking the lemur. “Should I look for her?”

Momo peered up at her tiredly before chittering and closing his eyes.

“You’re right, she’s super strong, she’ll be fine.” Xia agreed before laying back down and trying to sleep. H er mind is racing with everything that happened that happened that day, she doesn’t sleep for hours. 

* * *

_ Xia runs barefoot, her feet slamming into ash covered ground and dodging fallen debris. She can hardly breathe with the ash falling from the sky, and her hair messily falls towards her face. _

_ Fire shoots by her and lights the ground in front of her, Xia screams as she feels flames near her feet and stumbles backward. _

_ She turns around with fear in her eyes and sees the boy with a scar over the left side of his face. _

_ Flame dances around them and Xia realizes she has nowhere left to run. _

_ “Any last words?” _

_ “Zuko, please don’t!” Xia begs as tears flood down her cheeks, “Iroh said there’s still good in you.” _

_ “He was wrong.” Zuko says cruelly before blue flames shoot towards her. _

* * *

Xia shoots up with a gasp. She’s drenched in cold sweat and Momo watches her concernedly. Her vision is blurry with tears and Xia’s heart is pounding in her chest.

Momo chitters sympathetically as he climbs into her lap and looks up at her in worry.

“I’m okay, Momo,” Xia reassures while wiping away her tears, “It was just a nightmare.” 

The winged lemur looks unconvinced so Xia smiles through her tears and pats her head before lying back down in her bedroll. 

Momo stays on her lap and falls asleep there, it takes Xia another hour before she falls asleep to the sound of Momo’s gentle breathing.

She makes it a point not to think of her dream at all.

* * *

  
  
  


She wakes up to Katara trying to quietly set a bowl of porridge down next to her, the waterbender shoots her an apologetic look but Xia smiles gratefully and says good morning. 

Xia is halfway through her bowl when Katara asks if anyone had seen Toph. 

“I haven’t seen her since she stormed off yesterday.” Sokka admits through a yawn as he stretches.

“Maybe she’s just exploring the air temple. There are some pretty fun spots to practice earthbending.” Haru offers.

“All night? I didn’t hear her come back and her bedroll is untouched.” Xia notes worriedly.

“I think we should go look for her.” Katara agrees. 

Xia leaves her bowl of porridge on the ground (which Momo accepts happily) and stands up, walking over to her dual swords as Sokka tries to dissuade them.

Before Xia could lecture Sokka on how they need to look out for one another, The Duke offers to look for her with Teo and Haru. 

“Yeah! I want to ride that tunnel to hall of statues again!” Teo agrees, “It’ll work a lot better now that I’ve fixed my brakes.”

“That’s very sweet of you,” Xia commends while shooting a scowl to Sokka, “but be careful! Don’t break your brakes again.” 

The three are off before she’s finished her warning and a fond smile graces her face. 

The earth rumbles and Xia’s eyes drift to a new hole in the wall, she cradles fire in one hand just in case. Instead, Toph crawls out frantically and tumbles onto the ground with a grunt.

Xia is immediately at her side, eyes flying over her searching for injuries. They zero in at the  _ burns _ that coat Toph’s feet. Xia is livid.

The rest of the group join her as Toph exclaims her feet got burned.

Katara demands how and Xia can see Katara’s anger rising as well.

They’ve both connected the dots before Toph even confesses she visited Zuko. 

“You what?” Aang exclaimed at the same time Katara said, “ Zuko?”

Sokka just makes his usual noise of pure disbelief and Xia sighs angrily. 

Katara starts healing Toph’s feet while Sokka tries to get the story out of her. Xia pinches the bridge of her nose as she tries to calm her temper.

Why does he have to make things so difficult?

“It was an accident.” Toph offers. 

“But he did fire bend at you?” Aang confirmed. 

“Yes.” Toph says defeatedly.

“See,” Sokka accuses, “you trusted Zuko and got burned, LITERALLY.”

“Welcome to the club.” Xia says sympathetically, a hand drifting over to the burn that decorates her side and peaks out from her low cut top. Thankfully, it doesn’t look like Toph’s would scar like hers, especially with Katara healing her fairly soon. Xia had to go days without proper medical attention, now she knows she really wouldn’t have survived the trip to the Fire Nation if the Water Tribe’s warriors hadn’t taken her ship. 

“Zuko’s clearly too dangerous to be left alone,” Sokka says while locking eyes with Xia, “We’re gonna have to go after him.”

“I hate to go looking for a fight, but you’re right.” Aang agrees, glancing at Xia hopefully, “After what he did to Toph, I don’t think we have a choice.”

“I agree,” Xia sighs reluctantly, “We can’t afford any more setbacks.” It pains her to say it, but they’re right. Most of their allies are in prison. The Fire Nation is after them. A skilled assassin is after them. They don’t need another threat on their plate...even if that threat meant more to her than Xia cared to admit. 

Sokka and Aang look relieved. 

“He’s crafty but we’ll find a way to capture him.” Unsureness seeps into Sokka’s tone as him and Aang carefully lift Toph to bring her to a nearby fountain.

“Maybe invite him back here,” Toph pipes up, “He’s already offered himself up as a prisoner once.”

“Yeah,” there’s inspiration in Sokka’s voice, “Get him to come back and say he’ll be our prisoner. Then we’ll jump him and really make him our prisoner. He’ll never suspect it!”

Xia stifles a laugh as Katara’s voice drips with sarcasm, “You are a master of surprise, Sokka.”

They sit with Toph at the fountain as she sighs of relief when her feet are placed in. Xia is just glad she made it back alive. 

A familiar sonic blast echoes in the air and debris begins to fall. 

Sokka and Aang pull Toph out of the fountain while Xia jumps in front with flames already dancing around her hands.

“Stop!” Zuko’s voice echoed, “I don’t want you hunting the avatar anymore!”

Traitorous worry tugs at Xia’s heart as she seeks Zuko striding towards the assassin. She can’t hear everything he’s saying as he rushes in front of the assassin whose eyes are set on Aang. The assassin shoves Zuko away and a blast is aimed at the fountain. Her friends duck and Xia deflects a piece of debris away from them. 

Her eyes drift back to see Zuko rushing at the assassin with flames in his hand and Xia wants to scream at him to run. Is he stupid? Does he realize the danger he’s in? The next blast from the assassin doesn’t even come close to him. Zuko’s distraction is working but he’s at the edge of the building over a gaping abyss. 

“Zuko run!” Xia screams as the assassin turns his attention towards him. She can see fear in her best friend’s face and she can only watch helplessly as the assassin shoots a sonic boom towards him and her friend’s flames doing the bare minimum at protecting him. She watches him slip off the edge and for a moment Xia feels cold dread flood her. 

No. 

He couldn’t have...there’s no way.

For a moment she feels dizzy and she stumbles backward with a mouth over her hand because she had literally just watch her best friend-

Relief floods her when her eyes catch him climbing a vine at the cliff’s edge. Out of sight from the assassin and safe. 

Xia regains control over herself as Aang steps out from cover and joins the fight as the assassin leaps toward them. She creates a pillar of flames to push him back while Katara readies a wave of water. 

As she sees the assassin deflect daggers of ice, Katara grabs Aang and gestures for Xia to follow as they hide behind the corner of the building with Toph and Sokka. 

The assassin is still shooting fire at pillars and Xia stands in front of Toph.

“He’s going to blast this whole place right off the cliffside!” Toph yells in shock.

Another blast drifts closer to their hiding spot.

“I can’t step out to waterbend at him without getting blown up, and I can’t get a good enough angle on him from down here.”

Xia sees Sokka’s eyes light up, “I know how to get an angle on him!” His hands drift to the boomerang on his back and his eyes seem to calculate an angle as he traces a path with his weapon. “Alright buddy, don’t fail me now.” Sokka tells his boomerang before launching it.

They hear a dull hit and Sokka’s eyes light up and they run around the corner. Sokka cheering as he catches his trusty boomerang. 

But then the assassin gets up and they’re right in his line of vision.

Oh spirits.

“Awww boomerang.” 

They run back around the corner and a resounding explosion echoes from a distance. 

When they peak around the corner...the building where the assassin was standing is gone. He had blown his own building off and fallen down the cliff.

And feet away at the edge of the cliff, Zuko pulls himself up and Xia wants to cry of relief. 

Xia carries Toph to a rock and allows her to sit. She checks on Haru, The Duke, and Teo, they all assure her they’re fine, before returning to Sokka, Toph, Aang, and Katara. Zuko walks towards them slowly.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but thanks, Zuko.” Aang speaks softly but gratefully.

“Hey.” Sokka says sharply, “What about me? I did the boomerang thing.” At his prideful pose, Xia jabs him with her elbow. 

“Listen, I know I didn’t explain myself very well yesterday.” Zuko begins, and he’s more confident than he was yesterday. He’s not stuttering or showing up with a creepy smile. He speaks plainly and honestly. “I’ve been through a lot in the past few years, and it’s been hard. But I’m realizing I had to go through all those things to learn the truth.”

Xia doesn’t miss the way his eyes drift to hers, and he stares at her unflinchingly. Xia doesn’t look away.

“I thought I had lost my honor and that somehow my father could return it to me.” He continues unphased, “But I know now that no one can give you your honor. It’s something you earn for yourself by choosing to do what’s right.”

It sound like something Iroh would say...and Xia wishes he was here to see this, she has no doubt he’d be so proud. His nephew wasn’t lost for good, he had found his way back to the right path. Those years and patience Iroh had used on him...they weren’t worthless. 

“All I want now is to play my part in ending this war. And I know my destiny is to help you restore balance to the world.” Zuko finishes before turning away from Aang to Toph, “I’m sorry for what I did to you. It was an accident. Fire can be dangerous and wild. So as a firebender, I need to be more careful and control my bending. So I don’t hurt people unintentionally.” His eyes drift back to her and over the spot where she was burned. Xia can’t help the self conscious feeling as she looks away while drifting a hand over to where she got burned. 

“I think you are supposed to be my firebending teacher.” Aang looks up at Zuko, “When I first tried to learn firebending, I burned Katara. And after that, I never wanted to firebend again.” Aang’s gaze drifts from Xia to Zuko, “But now I know you understand how easy it is to hurt the people you love. I’d like you to teach me.”

Xia’s heart melt as Aang delivers the proper Fire Nation salute, one that him and Xia had practiced when he was in school. Zuko returns it with a bow and a thank you.

“I’m so happy you’ve accepted me into your group.” Zuko says smiling.

“Not so fast,” Aang interrupts, “I still have to ask my friends if it’s okay with them.”

Aang turns to Toph first because she was the one Zuko burned. 

“Go ahead and let him join.” Toph says while cracking her knuckles, “It’’ll give me plenty of time to get back at him for burning my feet.”

Xia feels a small smile spread on her face at Toph’s enthusiasm..and Zuko’s fear.

“Sokka?”

Sokka shrugs, “Hey, all I want is to defeat the Fire Lord. If you think this is the way to do it, then I’m all for it.”

“Xia?”

* * *

Zuko looks to Xia with butterflies in his stomach. 

Sadness floods him as he realizes she doesn’t look at him with the same spark in her eyes in Ba Sing Se. 

Instead, empty black eyes scan his form quickly before going back to Aang with a warm smile.

He wants that smile to be for him again. He doesn’t want her to hate him anymore.

“He’s a more skilled bender than me,” Xia admits, “You need all the help you can get.”

Hearing her say that without looking at him and pretending he wasn’t a few feet away begging for her affection, hurt Zuko badly. 

* * *

  
  


“Katara?” Aang asks, and Xia turns toward the girl worriedly. 

She’s glaring at the ground, Xia can feel waves of anger rolling off Katara.

Xia can’t really blame her. 

“I’ll go along with whatever you think is right.” Katara says with a scowl. 

“I won’t let you down! I promise!” Zuko says with a genuine smile.

The group disperses, Aang following after Katara and Sokka picking up Toph. Sokka gently nudges Xia forward as he leaves, giving her a grin and a wink, Xia glares.

It leaves Xia and Zuko standing a few feet away from each other, eyes locked. 

* * *

Zuko can’t help but smile softly as he realizes Xia is frozen.

He knows exactly what to say. He practiced an apology for her over and over last night. 

Zuko steps closer and looks down at her, his heart racing and black eyes watch his skeptically before they drift away as he gets closer.

It’s not part of his apology but Zuko can’t help himself.

“Your hair is pretty when you grow it out.”

Zuko realizes it’s the wrong thing to say when disappointment floods her eyes and her neutral expression dips into sadness.

“Oh, um, was it not pretty before?” She asks, shifting uncomfortably and Zuko wants to hit himself.

Offending Xia wasn’t part of his plan.

“No!” Zuko says a little too loudly, “it was always nice! Even when it was messy-not that your hair was always messy! It’s just some days you didn’t brush it for long enough or after a super long day when some pieces would fall out of your top knot. And I like the way it would-”

“You should probably go get the rest of your stuff, before lunch.” Xia offers, turning away from him and walking away.

“Oh, um you’re right, as usual.” Zuko laughs nervously.

He watches hopefully as she pauses and just barely glances at him over her shoulder.

She’s about to say something but she closes her mouth and shakes her head before continuing to walk away.

Zuko’s shoulders drop. He knows he’s in for an uphill battle. He knows she’s more hurt than angry and it would be his turn to be patient but persistent.

But he was still in her life, and that’s what mattered the most. 

* * *

The awkwardness between them is palpable. She’s not used to seeing him so often or the gentle smiles he gives her.

He’s overly nice and it makes her deeply uncomfortable and sad.

Because she doesn’t know if it’s real or fake. She’s tied between believing him wholeheartedly and falling into their old ways, and the other part is terrified to trust him.

She can’t take another heartbreak.

It doesn’t help that neither of them can address everything they’ve done and said to each other. 

So Xia ducks her head away and avoids him and pretends that everything is fine. 

* * *

Everything is not fine. 

Zuko approaches dinner that night and says he’s lost his stuff. 

“Don’t look at me. I didn’t touch your stuff.” Toph says, throwing her hands in the air.

Xia looks at Sokka with a look that screams “please don’t tell me you took his stuff”

Sokka gives her the most offended look, Xia still doesn’t buy it.

“I’m talking about my firebending. It’s gone.”

Xia’s eyes widen and her worry turns into anger as Katara laughs.

Does she realize how serious this is? How could she laugh when they’re only hope for Aang to master firebending and save the world literally relied on Zuko being able to bend. Xia’s eyes narrow.

“I’m sorry. I’m just laughing at the irony. You know how it would’ve been nice for us if you’d lost your firebending a long time ago?” Katara smirks.

No one comments and Xia feels disgusted at her friend’s behavior. But she’s too tired to start a fight. She turns away with an eye roll. 

“Well, it’s not lost, it’s just weaker for some reason.” Zuko defends.

“Maybe you’re just not as good as you think you are.” Katara says snidely.

“Ouch.” Toph adds.

“Is that what Sokka said after the hundredth time you accidentally splashed him?” Xia scoffed.

Sokka laughed and Katara had the nerve to look at her betrayed and Xia shot her a warning look. 

“I bet it’s because I changed sides.” Zuko mused.

“That’s ridiculous.” Katara says, but the bite in her tone isn’t as strong. 

“I don’t know.” Aang says unsurely, “Maybe it isn’t. Maybe your firebending comes from rage and you just don’t have enough anger to fuel it the way you used to.”

Xia sees the evil glint in Sokka’s eyes as he slams down his dinner bowl and swaggers up to Zuko. “So all we need to do is make Zuko angry. Easy enough.”

Xia sighs and shakes her head, turning back to her dinner as Sokka makes annoying noises while poking Zuko.

“Okay! Cut it out!” Zuko finally snaps as Sokka flinches away. But no fire is bended. “Look. Even if you’re right, I don’t want to rely on hate and anger anymore. There has to be another way.”

Toph recommends Zuko finding the original source...Sokka jokes about him jumping into a volcano. Xia “accidentally” elbows Sokka. Toph tells the story of badgermoles and her childhood and it makes Xia’s heart swell. It also explains so much more about her.

Aang talks about the original airbenders being sky bisons and asks Appa for a lesson. Appa roars in agreement.

“Well this doesn’t help me,” Zuko says, “the original firebenders were the dragons and they’re extinct.”

Xia sobers as she remembers the dragon hunting in the history textbooks, about how Iroh got his nickname.

“What do you mean?” Aang asks softly. “Roku had a dragon, and there were plenty of dragons when I was a kid.”

Before Xia could reply and tell them about the dark history, Zuko snaps at Aang and just tells them they’re gone. Xia frowns at her best friend and watches as his eyes soften slightly. 

“But maybe there’s another way.” Zuko says quietly as he steps away from the group with Aang following. 

* * *

“Be careful, okay?” Xia tells Aang as he makes his way over to Zuko and Appa. Him and Zuko decided last night that they’d visit the ruins left behind by the Sun Warriors. She warns him about traps in some of the ruins. 

“Don’t worry about me, Xia.” Aang smiles and Xia smiles back, patting him on the back before continuing her morning routine of meditation. 

She finds a quiet spot in the temple, sits cross legged, and closes her eyes. She starts with pacing her breathing in the way Iroh had taught her and allows her mind to drift.

“How can you be so nice to him after everything he’s done?” Katara’s voice echoes. 

Xia opens her eyes to see the waterbender sitting in front of her with a confused expression.

“I wouldn’t call it nice.” Xia says, “It’s being decent and not starting unprovoked fights.” 

“Everytime I look at him...I just feel so angry.” Katara admits.

Xia’s eyes soften and she smiles softly at her friend. “You have every right to be angry, but anger is like a fire, Katara, you can’t let it burn everything that makes you good. You need to learn to control it.” She lights a little flame in her hand for dramatic effect, “You need to take this flame and do something good with it, but antagonizing him won’t help anyone.”

Katara nods reluctantly, “I’ll try harder, Xia, I promise.”

“That’s more than I can ask for, and I’m sorry for making fun of you last night.” Xia says with a smile, “Did you want to meditate with me?”

Katara sits across from her and they both close their eyes.

“I still don’t understand how you can forgive him so easily.”

“I haven’t.”

* * *

Even if it hurts, Xia smiles as she sees Zuko and Aang bend fire together, using new techniques the dragons showed them. She claps politely along with the rest of the group, even as she finds herself flinching when Zuko bends fire. She holds Zuko’s gaze even as her mind races with his death threats and how set he was on letting her rot in prison.

She laughs with the group as they tease Aang and Zuko for their dragon dance, even if it’s mostly forced.

Because more than anything, Xia wants to trust. She wants to be happy again. She wants to let go of all the memories that plague her when she looks at gold eyes.

But could she?

_ You could leave,  _ something inside her whispers,  _ they don’t need you anymore. You can disappear again _ .  _ He can’t hurt you if you’re far away.  _

Her eyes drift back to the fox mask sitting on her bedroll.

* * *

Zuko’s annoyed with how much Sokka teases them about their new bending technique (it’s not just a dance!), and even more so when the group laughed. He’s ready to snap back and say something he’ll probably regret when he sees Xia laughing quietly as she pets Momo, looking at him with an amused glint in her eye.

The anger melts away immediately and relief floods him, it’s a step in the right direction.

He’s okay with being teased if it makes her happy.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super sorry for all my typos~ I hope you're still enjoying my work! Thank you for all of the support


	19. Chapter 19

Xia doesn’t want to sleep. Even with exhaustion manifesting into bags under her eyes and a headache slowly growing, Xia just wants an escape from the nightmares. 

So she keeps herself busy by packing up her stuff. Xia tells herself it’s just in case they have to make a quick escape. She straps on her armor and finally picks up the fox mask laying ontop of her bag. Her hands are trembling as she holds the mask, she tells herself it’s because of the cold night. They fumble with the ribbons as she struggles to tie it to the back of her head, she swears softly under her breath, why is she struggling so much?

Frustration flares and she throws the black fox mask on the ground as tears pour out of her eyes.

Shaking hands grab her bag full of stuff and Xia strides towards stairs leading away from the temple filled with her sleeping friends.

She tells herself she’s just bringing her bag just in case...just in case of an attack and they have to escape! That’s why she’s bringing her bag and wearing her armor.

When she reaches the top of the staircase where she can see the night sky and grassy hills, Xia takes one look behind her shoulder and feels tears prick at her eyes. They zero in on her bedroll with her mask laying askew a few feet away. 

She looks away when tears prick at her tired eyes and she turns around holding herself tightly as she walks. She doesn’t think she lets her feet drift to the familiar path they took on the way here. A gentle breeze blowing through green grass and her eyes narrow down the path that leads down the hill and towards the ocean.

* * *

Zuko wakes up at the sound of a thud on the ground. Tired gold eyes immediately glance to where he knows Xia is sleeping but instead she’s grabbing her bag and stumbling away towards a staircase nearby.

Zuko can see the sway in her step and her hair is mess, falling out of its topknot and messily falling around her. Worry floods him when he sees she had thrown her fox mask on the ground.

There’s something wrong with her but he doesn’t know what.

He starts getting up to go follow her and see if she’s okay but a hand gently touches his shoulder and Zuko looks over at Sokka who shushes him quietly. 

“I’ll go-”

“That’s not a good idea, Zuko, you’re probably the last person she wants to see right now. Well okay, maybe second to last because Azula still exists.”

Pain immediately hits Zuko because he knows Sokka is right.

“Go back to sleep. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her.” Sokka says.

Zuko really wishes he could say the same thing.

* * *

  
  
  


Before she could continue walking, a warm hand wraps around her bicep and she gasps, immediately trying to pull away as she ignites a fire in her other hand. She’s terrified. She can’t get burned again. She can’t get back in that cell. She doesn’t want to di-

“Xia.” Sokka’s voice is calm water to the raging panic filling her, “It’s just me.”

The panic extinguishes but Xia turns to him with hints of fear tainting her black eyes.

He doesn’t look angry at all, only worried, blue eyes darting between her tired eyes to

her armor, and finally to the bag over her shoulders. 

“I was just taking a walk.” Xia says desperately, and even in her own ears she doesn’t believe it.

“With your bags?” 

“Just in case we need to leave immediately.” Xia lies. 

“The one time you’ve left your mask behind is when you were saying goodbye to Katara,” Sokka sighs, “you don’t need to tell me why you’re doing this now, but you do need to go back and sleep. You look dead tired and you’re not thinking straight.”

Xia violently shakes her head at the thought of sleep, “I can’t sleep, Sokka, everytime I sleep I see-”

“You see the Fire Nation, I know. But if you don’t sleep, exhaustion might kill you before the Fire Nation.” Sokka says sternly, “We’re going to go back. You’re going to take off your armor and I’ll stay up with you until you fall asleep.”

Xia is reluctant but Sokka is already gently pulling her back towards the staircase. “I’m sorry.” She says, hanging her head in shame as he guides her down slowly.

“I know...it’s okay. Well not really because I was having a really good dream about Suki. I hope you have good dreams too, maybe not about Suki because she’s my girlfriend but-”

“Thank you, Sokka.” Xia says quietly but meaningfully as she reaches her bedroll.

Sokka only smiles before turning away as she changed out of her armor.

She’s out like a candle the minute her head hits the pillow.

Her dreams are filled with a golden eyed boy giving her fire lilies as they spend the day playing games. No fire is bended.

* * *

“She’s usually awake bright and early for her morning meditation.” Katara whispers, watching as the black haired girl continues to sleep as lunch gets closer. 

“Just let her sleep,” Sokka whispers, “She’s been so tired lately.”

“Why?” Zuko whispers back.

“I’m not really sure.” Aang admits. The whole group shushes him when he doesn’t say it in a whisper.

Sokka doesn’t say anything, even when Zuko’s eyes drift over to him questioningly.

The group makes a unanimous decision to be quieter that day and avoid waking the sleeping fox, The Duke walks over and readjusts Xia’s blankets carefully when she throws it off. 

* * *

Xia wakes up to the smell of porridge (which she’s getting really tired of) and the sun  beaming into her eyes. She sits up with a stretch and glances at the fire to see everyone looking at her wide eyed (except for Toph).

“Momo! You were supposed to keep the sun out of her eyes!” Sokka tells the winged lemur accusedly. 

“Afternoon, Sleeping Beauty, looks like you didn’t need a prince to wake up.” Toph  snickers.

“Afternoon?” Xia yelps, looking at them shocked.

“None of us wanted to wake you up, you seemed so tired lately.” Katara smiles, before pouring a bowl of porridge and gesturing for her to eat. 

Xia feels her heart melt at the worried expression on everyone’s faces. Even Zuko looks a bit worried as gold eyes desperately try to read hers. 

Xia’s eyes meet Sokka’s, “Thank you so much, I needed that.”

A collective sigh of relief rises and Sokka smiles back at her softly. 

* * *

“No one can make tea like Uncle, but hopefully I learned a thing or two.” Zuko says as he pours a cup of tea for everyone.

A sad smile crosses over Xia’s face at the thought of Iroh. Zuko had told them he had escaped and Xia hopes he’s okay wherever he is. 

“Would you like to hear Uncle’s favorite tea joke?” Zuko offers, hopeful eyes going towards hers. Xia looks away as everyone agrees.

“Okay well, I can’t remember how it starts, but the punchline is ‘Leaf me alone--I’m bushed!’

No one laughs. 

“Well it’s funnier when Uncle tells it.” Zuko says awkwardly as he serves them tea.

“Right, maybe it’s because he remembers the whole thing.” Katara teases as everyone laughs.

Zuko crouches down to her with one of the last two cups of tea.

The cups are in the center. What if he put something in one of the cups? What if it was poison?

“No thank you.” Xia said quietly, refusing to look at the firebender. 

* * *

Zuko’s heart drops as his best friend quietly mumbles, “No thank you.” and keeps her head turned away from his. 

He frowns and he’s so tempted to ask her why not. Xia loves tea, maybe not as much as his uncle, but it’s one of her favorite drinks. Especially for nighttime. He even picked jasmine because it would help her sleep better. 

He knows she just needs time and he has to work to fix what he ruined.

But Zuko can’t help himself.

“It’s jasmine, it can help you sleep better.” Zuko offers gently, moving the tray of tea closer. 

He watches her stiffen before her hair flies as she whips her head towards him, there’s fear in her eyes and it catches him off guard.  “And why is that? Did you add something to it?” She says quickly, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“No, what?” Zuko yelped, “Xia, it’s just jasmine and water, my uncle used to say-”

“I’m not in the mood for tea.” Xia says, turning away from him again before standing to walk over to the edge of the cliff where she sat by herself.

Zuko is about to set down the tray and go after her when Aang puts a hand on his arm, the Avatar looks sympathetic. 

“Maybe just give her some space.” 

Zuko’s shoulder drops as he watches his best friend sit alone. 

The girl he knows craves touch when she’s sad or scared. Whether it’s a tight hug, standing close to someone, or holding hands, Zuko knows the best way to comfort her is to ground her with a gentle touch.

But his eyes watch as the girl sits at the edge of the cliff alone with her knees tucked to her chest and Zuko can barely recognize her.

It terrifies him. 

Because she’s already taken the first steps away from him.

* * *

She’s still a little nervous as she curls into her bedroll.

Zuko’s is only a few feet away. It’s uncomfortably close.

He could easily kill her before she could make a noise.

So Xia gently tugs the sleeping bag away from his and closer to Toph’s. She’s the  lightest sleeper of all of them, and Toph would never hurt her. Xia knows that for sure.

* * *

“Why would Sokka take Zuko with him to go fishing? I’m not even sure if Zuko knows how to fish.” Xia worries as they look over the note. 

“Maybe he’s just trying to make friends with Zuko.” Toph says as Xia takes the note from  Katara and examines it.

She sniffs it for the scent of ash or blood, looks closer at the handwriting to confirm it’s Sokka’s and to see if there’s anything unusual, as well as looking for any signs of struggle around Sokka’s bedroll.

“You’re scared.” Toph says, even as Xia finds no signs that Zuko kidnapped Sokka. 

“I’m not.” Xia protests.

“Your heart is beating the same way it does when Zuko gets too close to you, like last night. You’re not breathing the same either and you’re quieter too.” Toph argues, crossing her arms.

Xia sighs, rolling up the note and silently counting backwards from 10 as she tries to compose herself.

“He feels the same way around you,” Toph says, “when someone says your name, his heart skips a beat before going rapidly, and sometimes his breath even hitches.”

“Good.” Xia says bitterly, “He should be scared of me, because if he tries to hurt any of you, I won’t hold back!” Xia gives the note to Toph before storming off to do her morning meditation. She needs it more than anything.

Toph sighs, “But I don’t think it’s out of fear, Xia! It’s the same reaction Sokka has when  Suki-” Toph cuts herself off when she realizes Xia is far away and not ready to hear that.

* * *

“It wasn’t that hard.” Zuko tries to say as he and Sokka float through the sky in a war balloon. 5 feet apart as Sokka lounges in the back while Zuko firebends to keep the balloon afloat.

“Really? You didn’t leave behind anyone you cared about?”

“Well, I did have a girlfriend, Mai.” Zuko admits.

Sokka’s eyes widen, “That gloomy girl who sighs a lot?”

“Yeah.” Zuko admits with a fond smile.

“Did you two start dating before or after Xia became the Red Fox?” Sokka asked suspiciously.

“Before, Xia is the one who kept encouraging it.” Zuko’s smile widens at the memory of his best friend fixing his hair and telling him how to be a gentleman.

Sokka still looks at him with wide eyes.

“What?” Zuko asks.

“I really thought you and Xia were a couple. The way she talked about you and the fact you were best friends. I guess I was wrong. Sorry for assuming.” Sokka says sheepishly.

“What did she say about me?” Zuko asks hopefully after sending a flame into the tank. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Sokka!”

“Fine, fine.” Sokka says as he holds his hands up in surrender, “It’s just she’s always tried to believe in you. She genuinely believed you were a good person and it surprised her that things turned out the way it did. I guess it just made me believe you two were a huge part of each other’s lives. Or that she meant the same to you.”

“She does! My life spiraled after she-” Zuko couldn’t even bring himself to say it outloud, “It was so easy to leave because I wanted to find her and just be with her. I didn’t think about how hard it would be. I just knew I had to.” Zuko managed to get out, and saying it made everything feel more real.

“Have you told her that?” Sokka asks seriously.

Zuko shook his head, “I wrote out a whole apology but I just haven’t had the chance to tell her.” 

“I know I haven’t known her as long as you, but I think telling her sooner rather than later could really help whatever is going on between you two.” Sokka smiled, “It’s funny, when it comes to you, Xia just loses her composure and stops being rational.” It’s said with fondness as he remembers her storming off from dinner, trying to run away at night, and all those times she defended the past Zuko.

Zuko laughs quietly, “Yeah well, I can relate.”

* * *

She hates to admit it, but Xia is really grateful Sokka took Zuko on a long fishing trip. She’s back to sleeping peacefully and normally, she feels more carefree, and she finds herself laughing more wholeheartedly. 

It also helps that she’s looking forward to eating something other than plain porridge.

She uses the good vibes she has to carry about her day normally. Meditating in the morning, practicing firebending with Aang, exploring the Air Temple, and chatting with her friends over a warm fire and plain porridge. The only thing that’s missing are Sokka’s jokes and sarcasm to add to her good mood. 

Nights become less like anxiety filled inner battles and become quiet pensive moments where she wonders about the rest of the world. Is Seiko okay? Is she still running her clinic? What about her father? Did he find her friends? What about Iroh? Where was he hiding? What could he be up to? Why were Sokka and Zuko taking so long? Would the fish be spoiled once they were brought home? What does Mai think about all of this?

She doesn’t feel worried when she wonders. Alongside curiosity were dreams of what a peaceful world would look like. Xia isn’t really sure what peace looks like anymore, but Xia is willing to fight for it. 

* * *

Xia stands with Aang, Katara, and Toph as Sokka leaves a large Fire Nation airship wearing Fire Nation armor while Zuko follows wearing a prisoners uniform. 

Xia has to blink a few times, it’s late night and they had all woken to the sound of the airship, and Xia still isn’t sure if this is a dream, nightmare, or reality. 

“What are you doing in this thing?” Katara demands, “What happened to the war balloon?”

“It kinda got destroyed.” Zuko says with an innocent smile.

Xia’s eyes flick over to Sokka who nods with a similar smile.

“Sounds like a crazy fishing trip.” Aang grinned.

Toph asks the most important question, one that had been on Xia’s mind the entire time. “Did you at least get some good meat?”

“I did.” Sokka’s smile widens, “the best meat of all-the meat of friendship and fatherhood.”

_ Agni, burn away my sadness, he didn’t bring any meat. _

From the airship, Hakoda, a girl with short auburn hair, and tall muscular man step out from the docks of the airship. Xia figures the girl might be Suki. She’s not really sure who the man, but she’s guessing he was a prisoner too since he’s wearing the same uniform as Hakoda, Suki, and Zuko.

“Dad.” Katara smiles softly with tearfilled eyes and Xia’s heart twinges despite the immense disappointment at the idea of plain porridge for breakfast. 

She watches the father and daughter hug, Xia wishes more than anything that she could hug her own father. But she doesn’t feel jealous, she’s genuinely happy for her friend. Family had become a luxury in the war.

“How are you here?” Katara pulled away, “What is going on? Where did you go?”

“We kind of went to a Fire Nation prison.” Sokka admits sheepishly as Xia’s eyes widen.

Katara doesn’t question it as she pulls Sokka into a hug with their father.

“Seriously, you guys didn’t find any meat?” Toph exclaimed and Xia stifled a laugh.

“Can Appa and I go to a small Fire Nation village tomorrow?” Xia asks Aang, “There’s a small mountain I can hide him on while I shop for meat, since we have more mouths to feed.” Xia looks to their new friends with a fond smile.

“Sure! Can you bring home veggies too?” Aang agrees.

“Of course, I’ll sleep now so I can wake up at dawn to go leave.” Xia agrees, before bidding everyone a goodnight. 

“Next time, don’t do reckless things without me.” Xia laughs, flicking Sokka on the arm. 

“Sorry, I didn't wanna ruin your beauty sleep.” Sokka snickers. 

* * *

Xia smoothes out her Fire Nation civilian outfit before tying long, curled, black, hair into a high ponytail. The high waisted long skirt is enough to cover her scar, so she lets herself wear a red halter cropped top. It’s not a bad outfit, but it’s definitely something only suited for small villages and colonies, and less like something she’d wear when she was living in the capital. She doesn’t pack her armor or her swords, but she packs a simple black robe and her fox mask just in case.

The sky is still a dark blue, the sun not even risen as she quietly tiptoes past her sleeping friends, her black flats are light and easy to move in. Perfect if she needs to run, terrible if she needs to kick someone.

“Wake up, Appa, we need to get food so we don’t have to live off plain porridge.” Xia whispers quietly, stroking the sky bison’s cheek as he rumbles quietly, eyes opening slowly.

“I promise, I’ll be sure to get something for you too.” Xia promises. She climbs the bison’s back and freezes when she sees who’s waiting on his saddle.

“Are you ready to go?” Zuko asks, arms crossed as he lounges in the saddle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for all of the lovely comments I've received and for taking the time to read my work! It means the world to me!


	20. Chapter 20

“No.” Xia said, and pointed towards the group of bedrolls as she scowled at Zuko.

“Did you forget something?”

“You aren’t going with me.” Xia continues coldly as Zuko stares unwaveringly. She can’t believe the nerve of him. To really think that she would allow him to go with her into Fire Nation territory. She’s not stupid. 

“You’re going into enemy territory,” Zuko reasoned calmly, “it isn’t safe to go alone.”

“I have Appa.” Xia argues.

“Can Appa protect you if someone recognizes you?” Zuko shoots back, his tone is still even.

“Maybe not, but I know he wouldn’t hand me over to soldiers.” Xia laughs bitterly as Zuko frowns.

“I promise that won’t happen again, Xia, I’ve changed.” Zuko says softly while extending a hand to her, “Sokka can vouch for me. I had every opportunity to turn against him, but I didn’t.” 

Xia’s scowl doesn’t leave as she looks away from pleading gold eyes and debates whether or not this is a risk she’s willing to take. You don’t have a choice, she thinks. The group needs food. Even if it means walking into a blatant trap, it’s a risk she has to take if it means making sure no one starves and they all keep their energy.

Xia doesn’t take his hand. 

She pulls herself up and takes Appa’s reins. Even as fear floods her because her back is turned on Zuko, she straightens her posture and takes a deep breath. “If you make any move to attack me, I will fight back. I won’t show any mercy.”

“Sounds great, luckily you don’t even have to worry about that happening.” Zuko replies, she can hear the smile in his voice and it makes her even more unsettled. 

She pushes down her anxiety because she has no choice. “Appa, yip yip!”

The bison ascends into the air and Xia accepts whatever fate has planned for her today.

* * *

“The sky is really pretty from up here.” Zuko said awkwardly as Xia continued to lead Appa as they cut through the clouds. She hadn’t turned to look at him since they left the Air Temple.

No response.

Black hair tied into a ponytail waved gently in the wind, her head held high and her shoulders tense as Xia looked straight. 

“It kind of reminds me of that time we woke up to hike to that hill to watch the sunrise,” Zuko smiles, “except we had food and we weren’t in the sky..we were sitting in the grass and we were sitting next to each other.” Zuko can’t help but cringe at his own awkwardness, especially when Xia still doesn’t turn to acknowledge him or his awkward ramblings. 

He knows he’s embarrassing both of them. That it would really be best if he didn’t say anything for the rest of their trip.

But Zuko can be just as stubborn as her, and he knows the minute he gives up is when things really can’t be fixed. 

“We were so cold and the ground was a little damp,” Zuko laughed softly, “but I was really happy because you were there. I’m always happy when you’re with me. That’s why it was so easy for me to promise to be your best friend till the end.”

Zuko swears he can see her head turn ever so lightly so he doesn’t stop, “I’d make the same promise again, even if I knew everything that would happen to us.”

She doesn’t reply but Zuko’s heart soars as he sees Xia’s head turn back to its original position.

She had been listening. 

It’s more than Zuko can ask for. 

* * *

  
  


“Did you want me to take over? You must be tired.” Zuko offers. The sun is high in the sky now, and they’re cutting through the clouds just to be safe. 

“I’m not weak.” Xia huffs, refusing to look at the Fire Bender behind her, “We’re almost there anyway.”

“I never said you were!” Zuko protested panicked, “I just wanted to-”

“Catch me off guard?” Xia offered snidely. The rest of the group isn’t around, she doesn’t have to worry about setting a good example and keeping tension low. Months of fear and hatred had finally taken over her and she can’t hold back. 

“To give you another hour of sleep, Xia!” Zuko practically begged.

Xia glares suspiciously over her shoulder and meets pleading gold eyes, and fists clenched tightly into Appa’s fur. Why isn’t he getting angry? Why isn’t he snapping at her? She’s desperately trying to find the more familiar semblances of frustration and hatred in his eyes and Xia only feels more suspicious when she realizes it isn’t there. Xia turns away and hears him sigh.

* * *

  
  


Xia lands Appa on the top of the mountain, on a little edge facing away from the village so no one can see him. 

“Be good, okay? We’ll be back soon!” Xia reassures, petting the Bison on the nose. The sky bison licks her and Xia is glad it’s a sunny day and a long enough walk from the mountain to the village for the drool to dry. 

She hears Zuko snicker and frowns at him over his shoulder.

He sends an apologetic smile and Xia only tosses him a basket they’d use to carry Aang’s vegetables. It would be harder for him to attack her if he had a basket in hand.   
  


Zuko falls into step next to her as they follow a path down the mountain. “Watch your step.” He warns.

“I don’t need to-” Xia’s foot slips and before she could fall, Zuko’s hand shoots out and grabs her arm, helping her balance.

Her face heats up as she glares at the concerned look in his eyes. Grumbling, Xia rips her arm out of his and keeps walking.

“Your welcome.” Zuko mumbles.

“Thank you for doing one nice thing for me after trying to kill me.” Xia calls back sarcastically.

* * *

Xia glances worriedly at Zuko as they get closer to the village, “Maybe you should just wait for me here? Your scar might give us away.”

Zuko quickly pulls up the hood of his black robe, “There’s no way I’m letting you go in there alone.”

Xia still feels a little nervous, but she nods and they keep going. She won’t even try suggesting splitting up for the sake of time, she has a feeling he wouldn’t agree anyway. 

Xia eventually takes the fruits and vegetable basket from Zuko and fills it while chatting with vendors easily. Their eyes drift over her shoulder in apprehension and Xia recognizes it’s probably not often they have a cloaked and scowling stranger as one of their customers. 

So Xia tries to smile a little more in hopes to ease some of the tension. She introduces herself as Yeona, the name Seiko gave her.

When Xia finally finds a meat vendor and realizes his eyes don’t drift over her shoulder, Xia turns and finds Zuko isn’t there. She should be relieved. She should feel safe. Instead Xia feels nervousness swell as she turns away from the vendor and looks around with increasing fear. 

She clutches her basket a little tighter, her ears barely registering the vendor asking if she was okay. Black eyes scan her surroundings, it’s a village full of people who could profit off her imprisonment and her one ally suddenly disappears. 

Xia wants to call out for him, but it would give away both of their identities. 

When a hand grabs her shoulder, Xia jerks away in fear and meets worried gold eyes. “What’s wrong? Is he giving you trouble?” Zuko asks, glaring at the meat vendor a few feet away.

“Where did you go? You can’t just leave like that!” Xia snaps as anger replaces fear. Tears suddenly flood her eyes and Xia can’t help but feel frustrated at her weakness. Why was she even tearing up? 

Gold eyes immediately soften when they meet hers and a smile pulled at the Prince’s lips, “I’m sorry. I wanted to surprise you.”

Before Xia could say anything, Zuko held out a small gold hair piece with a small red spiral decorating it. Zuko smiled softly as he clasped it over her hair tie. He looks down at her with the fondest look, and it’s then Xia realizes how close they’re standing. She can practically feel warmth radiating off him as she opens and closes her mouth trying to find something witty to say. 

“Forgive me?” Zuko asked, and Xia knows he means more than his disappearance. 

Immediate distaste fills her and her eyes narrow into a glare. Does he really think a cute hair piece would fix everything the two of them went through? Xia can’t help but feel disappointed. Everyone on their team had received a heartfelt apology from Zuko, but she received jasmine tea and a new hair piece. There was no,  _ “I’m sorry for trying to kill you”  _ or  _ “I’m sorry for killing our friendship”  _ or  _ “I’m sorry for helping you get arrested and being complicit in the deprivation of first aid which caused you to nearly die in the bottom of a Fire Nation ship” _ . No. She got a cute gold hair piece and a bunch of awkward conversations about their childhood. 

Did he even care about her? 

Does he realize what he did to her?

Does he realize what he did to them?

Xia shoves the basket of fruits and vegetables to him roughly, and turns back to the meat vendor and begins to lists off her order with an irritated frown on her face. 

“Young love.” The vendor teases. 

“There are other vendors who sell meat here.” Xia warns, and the man works with haste to gather the meats she requested. 

After she’s paid and there’s no other reason to stay, Xia doesn’t even look behind her to check if Zuko is following as she makes her way to the mountain trail. She doesn’t acknowledge Zuko, even as he carries a basket filled with vegetables and fruit, and a large satchel of meats on his back. Zuko can’t hurt her if his hands are full. If he drops anything, it would give her enough time to defend herself against an attack.

“Xia, you need to help me.” She suddenly hears Zuko beg. 

Xia doesn’t turn around, she keeps her pace even as the sun beats down and her legs beg for a break. She tries not to think about how exhausted he might be, but Zuko is probably about to rant about that now as she continues their march to the top of the mountain where Appa waits. 

* * *

It’s not the pain of carrying enough food to feed a party or even the hot afternoon sun glaring down at him. It’s the memory of the pain in her eyes after he tried to do something nice to her. It’s the way Zuko can see her getting further and further away, long black hair bouncing as she doesn’t hesitate to leave Zuko to run after her desperately.

He’s losing her.

Zuko is really losing her.

His best friend. One of the last good things in his life.

“I don’t know how to fix this.” Zuko begs and he’s stumbling, he’s kneeling in the dirt holding the basket in front of him as he looks up at Xia’s form desperately.

Tears sting at his eyes and Zuko keeps going because he has no idea what to do. “I know you hate me, Xia, I hate myself too, but I’m begging you to help me fix this. I feel like everything I do for you, I do it wrong and it just forces you away from me.”

* * *

  
  


Xia turns when she hears Zuko’s breath hitch, and she sees him on his knees. Gold eyes filled with tears, his hood gone, the scarred boy looks up to her with pure regret. 

“I don’t want you to be scared anymore! I don’t want you to hate being around me! You don’t have to love me back but I hate seeing us drift so far apart, I hate knowing I don’t know you as well as I did when we were kids. I hate not being a part of your life!” Zuko continues.

His head drops low but Xia can still hear him loud and clear.

“I’m so sorry, Xia, I’ve ruined everything, I’ve hurt you more than anyone else. I don’t blame you for being mad, and it’s okay if you spend the rest of your life hating me,” Zuko’s breath shudders out as he finally looks up at her, tears leaking down his cheeks and desperation seeping into his voice, “but I’m begging you, if there’s anyway for me to fix it-if there’s anything I can do to have you back in my life again, please just tell me and I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for you!” 

Xia feels her own tears dripping down her face and she turns away from him with a quiet sob as she hugs herself tightly.

* * *

Zuko’s heart drops even further as he sees Xia turn away from him, shoulders shaking with sobs. His head drops and his heart races with panic as a familiar pain begins to take over him. There really is no way. This really is the end of their friendship.

He remembers that promise they made together before sunrise. Two pinkies interlocking as they promised to be best friends until the end. Zuko wishes he specified the end. That the end couldn’t be defined as the day Zuko betrayed her. 

They were both so miserable because of his mistakes. It forces another wave of tears as he realizes things could have been so different. If Zuko could stop her from going to  Shú Huí, would they have stayed on the same side until the end of the war? If Zuko didn’t chase the avatar, would he still have her by his side?

What about in Ba Sing Se? If he didn’t push for her to join him, would the two of them still be together in that small apartment catching up on what he missed from her life?

Zuko had every chance to mend their friendship and he ruined all of them. 

He’s betrayed her in every way possible, but Zuko still wants to be a part of Xia’s life. Zuko would be more than happy if she let him be the smallest portion of her larger than life presence. 

The saddest smile breaks Zuko’s face as he tries to force more tears from falling as he hides his head in his arms, “It was stupid of me, wasn’t it? To think that we could go back to who we were before. That I could stay with you until the end.” Zuko can’t help the bitterness in his voice as he picks up his head and looks at the girl still trembling with sobs feet away from him.

He wants to comfort her and hold her tightly, just one last time, but Sokka and Aang’s voice ring in his head and reminds him…

Zuko isn’t what she wants.

He isn’t what she needs.

Zuko looks away from her because it hurts him more than anything to be so useless to her.

* * *

Xia turns back to Zuko, to see him looking at the ground, and her heart lurches. Before she knows it she’s walking towards him before kneeling and moving away the basket to sit next to them. Zuko looks up at her with wide eyes and with a whimper, Xia is kneeling and wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight hug. 

She still can’t help but cry as she buries her head into his shoulder and holds him tightly. 

Xia loves the way he doesn’t hesitate to hug her back, comforting warmth flooding her as strong arms wrap around her, she can feel him shaking.

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted, Zuko, I just wanted you to apologize. I just wanted to know I still meant something to you.” Xia says through tears, holding him tighter as she tries to flood herself with him. Her hand slips into the softness of his hair and runs through the back of his head lightly. She can’t believe this isn’t a dream.

Her best friend is here with her.

They finally want the same things. 

They’re finally fighting side by side.

“I was so scared,” Xia hiccups, “I really thought I lost you.”

* * *

Zuko’s hands shake as his arms wrap around Xia’s waist to hold her against him tightly.

It feels so right.

Everything feels so right.

Zuko can’t believe it’s happening as a smile breaks across his face when he realizes...it really is happening.

“I was lost, but I always find you.” Zuko manages to get out, while leaning his head against hers. She’s so warm against him and she fits perfectly in his arms. 

He never knew how much he wanted this, how much he needed this.

He loves the way her chest rumbles as she laughs, pulling away from Zuko to look up at him with a tearful smile.

Hands calloused by years of work gently cup his face and wipe away tear tracks, “I didn’t even know you could still cry.” Xia teases. She didn’t even hesitate to touch his scar, and it only makes Zuko’s heart race. 

Zuko rolls his eyes with a smile, and pulls her back against him, this time letting a hand tangle itself in long black hair. “Only for you.”

They stay like that a little longer.

* * *

Xia and Zuko feed half a basket of fruits to Appa before they start heading back to the Air Temple.

This time Zuko sits next to her as she leads Appa. His arm is wrapped around her shoulder and they’re more relaxed from this morning.

“There’s one thing I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Xia says seriously.

“Yeah?” Zuko asks apprehensively.

“How did you get that scar?” 

“Trust me, you don’t want to know.” Zuko sighs, looking away from her.

Xia frowns, “I do. Someone hurt you. Was it from an Agni Kai?”

Zuko nods, “With my father.”

Hatred courses through Xia, “When? Why?” Her hands grip the reins tightly and she feels her blood boiling. As if she didn’t need more reasons to hate Ozai. 

“It was a few months after you disappeared...I spoke out against one of his generals who were trying to use newer recruits as bait.” Zuko says bitterly, “I thought I was supposed to fight an Agni Kai with the general, it ended up being my father...but I couldn’t bring myself to fight him.”

“So he burned you?” Xia asked, coldness seeping into her voice as her best friend nodded. 

“Then he banished me. I couldn’t return until I found the avatar.” 

Xia’s eyes widen because finally the story makes sense. Finally everything makes sense. His drive to find the Avatar, his willingness to imprison her- it was more than just honor, it was the only way he could come home. 

“It’s no excuse for everything I put you through, so don’t feel bad.” Zuko orders, fixing her with a serious look.

“Of course I’ll feel bad,” Xia protests, “you were a child. Your father hurt a child and-”

“You of all people should know how good my dad is at hurting people.” Zuko says with a mirthless smile. 

“Yeah. I know.” Xia sighs, her eyes turning back towards the clouds.

A few minutes pass before Zuko asks, “Does it bother you?”

“Firelord Ozai?”

“No, my scar.” 

Xia shakes her head, “The story behind it will always bother me, but the scar itself doesn’t. It’s a part of you, it symbolizes everything you’ve survived.” Xia doesn’t hesitate to gently turn his face toward her and inspects the scar closely.

Hers doesn’t look entirely different from his. Except hers is much easier to hide.

Zuko smiles at her relieved.

* * *

“DID YOU BRING MEAT?” Sokka asked anxiously as Appa landed.

“We did,” Xia smirks, “the best meat of all-the meat of friendship.” She’s mocking him from last night and Xia can see devastation manifesting in Sokka’s teary eyes. 

“Xia, this isn’t funny, I swear if you and Zuko spent the whole day-”

“There’s duck and komodo dragon.” Zuko says quickly, relief flooding through Sokka’s eyes.

“You couldn’t let him suffer a little longer?” Xia huffed, gently flicking Zuko on the arm.

Zuko grins at her as Sokka glances between them a few times.

“You two made up! Finally! It was getting so awkward.” Sokka cheers, before taking the bag of meat from Zuko. 

“It took you long enough!” Toph yelled from the campfire, “You were torturing all of us, Foxface!” 

Xia glares at Zuko as he snorts as her new nickname, but there’s no heat to it.

Within hours, they had fallen into their normal rhythm.

No one says anything as Xia leans against Zuko while they sit around the fire, or how relaxed both of them are. 

Xia accepts the tea Zuko brews that night, and she can’t help but smile when she realizes he had brewed her favorite tea with spices. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the love and support! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it's something we've all been waiting for!


	21. Chapter 21

Xia wakes up to the sound of explosions and she already knows she has a long day ahead of her.

She’s just getting up as she sees Aang use airbending to shut them into the sanctuary. Judging by the sounds of explosions, Xia is sure it’s the Fire Nation.

Debris falls as the explosions rattle the temple, Xia quickly firebends to break a large piece of debris into small pieces as it falls towards Teo. At the corner of her eye, she sees Zuko pushing Katara out of the way of the falling debris.

Toph and Haru bend a tunnel for their escape.

Xia is about to step towards the tunnel, past Aang trying to coax Appa into the tunnel, until she sees Zuko standing at the entrance not moving.

Within seconds, she’s at his side, grabbing his arm gently and trying to pull him away.

“What are you doing?” Aang calls.

“Go ahead, I’ll hold them off.” Zuko replies, “I think this is a family visit.”

“I’m not leaving you.” Xia glares as he glares back.

“You need to stay with Aang and deflect the fire while you escape. Go, Xia!” Zuko orders, pulling away from her grip.

Xia is about to chase after him when she hears Sokka call her name.

She knows her best friend is right, and she hates it. 

With a sigh, she jogs back to Aang, Katara, and Sokka and tries to coax Appa into the tunnel. 

When it becomes clear that the multi-ton flying bison won’t go into the tunnel, Sokka says, “We need to split up, take the tunnel and get to the stolen airship!” He’s ordering his father and the rest of their friends, even as Katara protests.

“It’ll be okay, it’s not forever.” Hakoda soothes before hugging both of his children.

“The Duke, keep them out of trouble.” Xia orders, gesturing to Haru and Teo.

“Yes sir!” He agrees, before disappearing into the tunnel.

Xia’s lips twitch into a smile when she realizes Sokka is taking Suki with them. Good for him. She wants to tease him about how he helped Suki get onto Appa (Sokka has never done that for her), but now isn’t the time. Her best friend is out there holding off the Fire Nation, maybe they can still save him. 

“There’s an awful lot of fire in that general direction.” Suki points out as Toph explains their escape route.

“I’ll redirect the flames the best I can,” Xia reassures, “Katara, can you extinguish them?”

“You’ve got it!” The waterbender agrees.

“We’ll get through. Let’s go.” Aang summarizes before taking Appa’s reins.

Katara and her stand back to back as they diminish flames. Her eyes scan for Zuko as she bends, and Xia can feel her panic rising when she doesn’t see him anywhere.

Finally at the top of an airship, Zuko stands and Xia can see his eyes set on Azula. Xia can’t take the time to watch and make sure he’s okay, she needs to protect her friends. She sees two figures falling at the corner of her eye.

“Aang, catch him!” Xia yells over the wind, and she sees the airbender looking where she’s pointing before nodding. 

Xia redirects a blast of flames as Katara pulls him into Appa’s saddle with them. Relief floods, her as Xia crouches down to hold on tightly as Appa picks up speed.

They watch as Azula falls and despite everything, Xia can’t help but feel a little..sad.

“She’s not gonna make it.” Zuko murmurs and Xia grabs his hand, he squeezes back tightly. But none of them can look away from the firebender falling through the clouds.

Until Azula launches herself into the rocky cliff and uses her hair piece to create a ledge she can hold onto.

“Of course she did.” Zuko says bitterly and Xia sighs.

As if it would be that easy. 

Xia doesn’t let go of his hand, but Zuko doesn’t pull away. 

  
  


* * *

They finally find a place to camp that night, grass in the middle of a rock formation, surrounded by sea. They set up their tents in a circle before Zuko lights and makes them tea. 

It’s another night of rice since they didn’t have time to pack up the meats and vegetables Xia and Zuko had bought the prior day...it was a nice one meal of not rice or porridge while it lasted. 

  
  


“Wow, camping!” Aang muses, “It really seems like old times again, doesn’t it?”

Xia smiles fondly at the memories of camping with Seiko as they made their way towards Ba Sing Se. She remembers the stories they traded, the woman’s soothing voice, and the delicious meals she still managed to make as they traveled. 

Xia glances at her cup of tea, remembering how Seiko always drank one cup in the morning, one with lunch, and one at night. Xia would never hesitate to heat up the water with leaves when asked. It was one of the few things she could give back to a woman who had given her everything.

Xia hopes she’s okay. 

“If you really want it to feel like old times, I could uh..” Zuko begins, “chase you around a while and try to capture you.” He ends with a smirk as they laugh.

With an apology in place and their friendship fixed, Xia really can’t help but laugh. It’s so much easier to laugh at the past. To turn pain into humor. It’s what they needed.

But Xia’s eyes linger to Katara who doesn’t look up at the ground as she sarcastically says, “Ha ha.”

“To Zuko!” Sokka cheers while holding up a cup of tea, “Who knew after all those times he tried to snuff us out, today he’d be our hero!”

Xia doesn’t flash back to any of their fights. She only cheers with the rest of the group as she holds her cup up. 

“I’m touched.” Her best friend says softly, “I don’t deserve this.”

“Yeah. No kidding.” Katara glares before standing up and walking away.

“What’s with her?” Sokka asks judgmentally, and Xia knows. 

She hasn’t forgiven Zuko yet.

“I wish I knew.” Zuko admits, before standing up and following her. 

  
  


“What’s with him?” Sokka continues.

“I wish I knew.” Xia replied, she’s almost tempted to leave and walk away for the sake of the joke.

* * *

  
  


_ “You must be disappointed in me.” General Arjun says as Xia stands in the doorway to her parents bedroom. _

_ Xia can see her mother’s portrait clenched tightly in his hand, and the saddest bronze eyes watching her every move.  _

_ “It was my plan that got your mother killed,” Her father continues, “I underestimated the enemy. I sent her to her death, a spear through her belly.”  _

_ Xia can’t help but wince at the detail paired with her father’s grave voice.  _

_ “I am a failure, Xia. I’ve ruined our lives.” He finishes, looking up at her with a dark look and a single tear streaming down his face. _

_ She’s run out of tears to cry. She thought she could remedy the hurt in her heart by learning all the details, but they only make her feel worse.  _

_ It hurts so much to be both sad and angry, but she knows there’s nothing she can say to break her father down more. Their pain is immeasurable yet equal. No words to be screamed that would bring her mother back.  _

_ So Xia walks over to the man on the bed and sits next to him, leaning her head against the uncomfortable black armor that Xia will one day have to wear. _

_ She wraps her arms around her father’s arm and holds tightly, “I forgive you, Dad.” Because she knows there’s no way to convince him it isn’t his fault.  _

_ The pain is still there, but it doesn’t feel as bad as she let’s go of her anger and falls into her father’s warm embrace. _

* * *

  
  


Xia smiles softly at the memory as she lies in her tent. She had long since blown out her candles but held the fox mask in her hands as she allowed her thoughts to gently lull her to sleep. 

She hopes Katara can forgive her best friend. She hopes Katara can forgive.

* * *

Xia is mending a hole in her clothes while Sokka sits next to her fiddling with a string of beads, when Zuko and Katara stride up to Aang feeding Appa.

Xia can’t help but smile as she sees they’re finally getting along. It can dissolve the last of their tension.

“I need to borrow Appa.” Katara says, and Xia’s smile fades when she sees the dark look on Katara’s face. 

“Why?” Aang asks, “Is it your turn to take a little field trip with Zuko?” Xia can hear a mix of jealousy and teasing in Aang’s voice.

“Yes. It is.” Katara affirms, and Xia’s gaze turns to Zuko’s to see if they’ll give away what’s going on. Instead, gold eyes don’t meet hers. It only alarms Xia. She knows her best friend is up to something, but she’s not sure what. But the look on his face is one she’s too familiar with, it’s one when Zuko was about to do something Xia told him not to do. 

Aang seems to sense something’s off too. Xia and him exchange a quick look before he continues, “Oh… what’s going on?” 

“We’re going to find the man who took my mother from me.” Katara answers, the icy look in her eyes chilling Xia to the bone.

“Sokka told me the story of what happened,” Zuko explains finally looking at her, “I know who did it and I know how to find him.”

Xia puts down her clothes and follows Sokka to stand by Aang, she doesn’t even know where to begin. A disappointed frown crosses her face as she crosses her arms because Xia has a feeling she knows exactly what they’re planning. 

“And what exactly do you think this will accomplish?” Aang asks. 

Katara immediately scoffs, “I knew you wouldn’t understand.” Completely dodging the question and beginning to walk away.

Sokka looks at Xia wide eyed before turning back to Katara as Aang steps forward and tries to say he understands, “You’re feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out about what happened to my people?”

“She needs this, Aang, this is about getting closure and justice.” Zuko argues.

“I don’t think so.” Aang counters, “I think it’s about getting revenge.”

“Fine. Maybe it is.” Katara snaps, “Maybe that’s what I need. Maybe that’s what he deserves.”

“Revenge won’t fix anything,” Xia tries to sway gently, “the greatest thing you can do for your mother is make sure her death wasn’t in vain by helping Aang end the war that’s ruined so many lives.”

“A war your mother used to take so many lives,” Katara hisses back, “you have no right to tell me what revenge can or can’t fix when people like your parents are the reason my mother is gone.” 

Xia immediately reels back and she can’t help the hurt that takes over her face, but she can’t bring herself to argue back or say anything.

Because was it really her place to stop Katara?

* * *

_ It’s two weeks after her mother’s death when Xia begins her training again. Her father stays locked in his study, plotting a devastating attack against the people who killed her mother.  _

_ The other generals capitalize on her mother’s death and use it as an excuse to up the intensity of her training. When they see Xia giving up or craving a break, they ask her if her mother would be proud of her if she quit or that she would need to be better than her mother if she wanted to survive.  _

_ She stumbles to her training session with General Iroh with tension in her shoulders, eyebags weighing at her eyes, and panic in her heart. Xia wants nothing more than to just take a break and she feels tears welling up in her eyes when she realizes how tired she is as her hands tremble. The other part doesn’t want to be a disappointment to her mother or her father, and she doesn’t want to be a burden to her father.  _

_ Usually with General Iroh she practices her bending. He can be brutal when he wants to be, forcing her to do the same moves over and over again until she’s perfected the form, before making her do it three more times. But of all the generals, he’s always the most fair, the most praising, and the one who is always willing to let her take a break. _

_ So she shouldn’t have been surprised when she sees him with a teapot and two cups. _

_ General Iroh gives her the kindest smile, “It’s good you came! I wasn’t sure if I could finish this pot of jasmine tea alone!” _

_ Xia can’t help the relieved smile that breaks through her face as she bows and salutes the general before sitting with him and pouring tea for both of them. He even brought her favorite tea.  _

_ They talk. He asks her how she’s faring, about her training, school, and tells her how Zuko has been so worried about her. Xia allows herself to be honest, immediately drawn in by the warmth in his eyes and the trusting expression on his face. _

_ “I haven’t really got to see or talk to my father,” Xia admits, “he stays in his study all day perfecting his revenge plan.” _

_ General Iroh shakes his head sadly, “Revenge is like a fire, Xia, it can be used to burn those that have harmed you, but it can burn the bender as well.” _

_ “I see.” Xia says quietly as she gazes down at her cup, her mind filled with images of her father hunched over at his desk with piles of maps, rejected food, and notes all around him.  _

_ “The path to justice may be unclear,” General Iroh continues, “be wary of lighting the way with the flames of revenge.” _

_ Xia understands.  _

* * *

  
  


“Katara, you sound like Jet.” Aang’s voice is so sad and it breaks Xia’s heart. Sokka had told her a little bit about Jet, he didn’t sound like the best person. His heart was in the right place, but his actions couldn’t mirror it. Xia can see the same in Katara as she considers  _ murder _ . Katara is a child considering murder and the thought makes Xia want to cry because she can see how this war had broken Katara. 

They’re kids. They shouldn’t be thinking about war or vengeance. 

“It’s not the same.” Katara finally turns back towards them, “Jet attacked the innocent. This man, he’s a monster.”

“Katara, she was my mother too.” Sokka finally steps in, “But I think Aang might be right.”

“Then you didn’t love her the way I did.” Katara snaps.

She feels Sokka stiffen next to her as he repeats her name softly. 

Xia doesn’t even try to counter when she sees the sad look on Sokka’s face. Instead her eyes soften and she puts a hand on his shoulder. She’s hardly listening as Aang explains nomadic teachings while Zuko dismisses them and Katara lamenting her lack of choices.

It’s only when Sokka gives her a small reassuring smile, that Xia removes her hand with a nod and pays attention to the conversation. 

“Katara, you do have a choice,” Aang offers, “Forgiveness.”

“That’s the same thing as doing nothing.” Zuko argues.

“It really isn’t.” Xia says evenly, remembering how Zuko had craved her forgiveness and where it brought them.

“It’s easy to do nothing, but it’s hard to forgive.” Aang councils, and Xia sees a new look in his eye. She can’t help but feel proud of the younger bender.

“It’s not just hard,” Katara says with a glare, “it’s impossible.”

Her and Zuko walk away leaving Sokka, Aang, and Xia to gather their thoughts.

“Are you okay?” Xia asks Sokka.

He shakes his head, “I will be.”

“I have a feeling they’ll try taking Appa tonight.” Xia tells Aang. She knows her best friend never gives up easily. At times like this, it’s disappointing. 

“I think so too, but I have a plan.” Aang agrees.

* * *

“This isn’t a good idea.” Xia tries to reason as Zuko packs his bag in his tent.

“It’s the only way to get her trust back.” Zuko replies, barely looking at her.

Xia’s jaw drops, “That’s why you’re doing this? Zuko, are you serious?”

He glances at her over her shoulder with a frown, “If we’re going to be on the same thing, trust is import-”

“If you do this, you’ve gained her trust but you’ll lose all of our respect. You’ll lose my respect.” Xia dares, crossing her arms and putting on her most serious expression as Zuko spins to look at her incredulously. 

“When did you become so childish? You’d put our friendship back on the line because you don’t agree with me?” Zuko yells.

Xia wants to back down. Instinctively she wants to apologize, but she can’t. She’s in too deep.

“I’m willing to put our friendship on the line because you’re helping kill someone.” Xia says softly, looking away from intense gold eyes.

“He’s a terrible person, he killed-”

“He was following orders,” Xia corrected, “he probably didn’t even have a choice given your father’s reputation.”

Zuko groans and turns away from her. “Orders or not, he took an innocent life and now he has to pay the price.”

“Zuko...please.” Xia finally begs, looking up to see his back towards her as he angrily packs.

“Leave Xia.” He replies coldly. 

Xia sighs before turning to leave, “Whatever you do, I hope you don’t regret it.”

* * *

  
  


Hours later after dinner, Aang’s plan leads them to hiding behind a rock near a sleeping Appa. 

“I don’t think this will work.” Xia whispers to Sokka and Aang.

“It’s either this or stopping Appa, we don’t have the best chances with the latter.” Sokka whispers back.

Xia is confident she can’t stop a flying bison, and even more confident that Sokka can’t stop one either. 

“It’s our only shot.” Aang admits.

Their suspicions are confirmed as Zuko and Katara approach Appa, both of them are dressed in black. 

The three of them glance at each other before hopping out from behind the rock, Aang taking the lead. “So you were just gonna take Appa anyway?” He demands as they get closer to the two. Xia casts a glare to Zuko which he returns wholeheartedly. 

“Yes.” Katara answers, barely glancing at them.

“It’s okay, because I forgive you.” Aang says with a humbling look and closed eyes, “That give you any ideas?” he ends with a hopeful smile.

Sokka and Xia exchange a look, a silent agreement of:  _ Their plan wouldn’t fly, but Appa would. _

“Don’t try to stop us.” Katara says sternly as Zuko checks all of their bags, Xia doesn’t miss how he avoids looking at her. He knows what he’s doing doesn’t have his uncle’s stamp of approval.

“I wasn’t planning to.” Aang admits, “This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man.”

Katara nods and climbs Appa’s back.

“But when you do, please don’t choose revenge.” Aang says steadily, “Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.”

Zuko looks at them in shock, “Ok, we’ll be sure to do that, Guru Goody-Goody.” His sarcastic tone only upsets Xia more.

“Thanks for understanding, Aang,” Katara says, and for a moment Xia thinks she sees the rational part of Katara. “Yip yip!” the waterbender says and Appa reluctantly stands before flying away.

They watch the dark skies. “You know, you’re pretty wise for a kid.” Sokka admits.

“Thanks Sokka.” Aang says.

“Usually it’s annoying, but right now I’m just impressed.” He smirks.

Xia sees Aang’s eyes narrow in annoyance, “I appreciate that.”

“So, can I borrow Momo for a week?” Sokka tries.

Aang’s eyes widen as he turns to Sokka, “Why do you need Momo?” 

Sokka only shrugs.

“Can I borrow Momo for a week?” Xia asks, winking at the airbender.

Aang grins back, “Sure, Xia, you can even borrow him for two weeks.”

Sokka looks at them with betrayal slapped onto his face, “You two just love to antagonize me.”

They watch Appa fly away until they can no longer see him. All of them are wondering Zuko and Katara’s mission ends.

“So uhh...how do Fire Nation funerals look like?” Sokka asks.

“We just burn the bodies.” Xia shrugs, before turning away with a stretch as she makes her way to her tent.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! thank you for reading!


	22. Chapter 22

Xia is more worried than angry. She hates the idea of either of her friends going down a path that could ruin them. She knows neither of them are thinking about what happens after they’ve found the killer. She knows neither of them are thinking about how they’re hurting others. Xia is positive Sokka and Aang aren’t getting sleep either.

A broken part of her wonders, how could people be so selfish? How could her friends be so selfish?

“I got you hot water with orange juice squeezed into it.” Sokka’s voice echoes behind her. 

Xia turns and sees Sokka and Suki standing a few feet away, a cup of something is resting in Sokka’s hands and Suki is carrying a large blanket.

“I don’t really trust my tea making skills, especially since we all got spoiled by Zuko.” Sokka explains as he sits down next to her while handing her the cup. The water is fairly clear with a few orange seeds floating in it. Suki sits on her other side and throws the blanket over her shoulders. Soon the three of them are sitting on the edge of the rock, all sharing one blanket, as the waves crash below them and dark clouds slowly float away. Xia is squeezed in between the couple and a cup of water and orange juice steams in her hands. She can’t help but feel so safe.

“Zuko is terrible at seeing the bigger picture.” Xia sighs, “He’s always had trouble looking at the world through another lens, he forgets that his actions have consequences.”

“Sounds like Katara.” Sokka laughs quietly.

“We always get left to clean up their mess.” Xia agrees. She’s thinking of all the times she’s had to calm down Zuko, reassure Mai, and Katara’s stunt as a spirit. 

“At least their hearts are in the right place.” Suki offers.

“Sometimes.” Xia admits uneasily while Sokka nods in agreement.

“Okay, so they lapse in judgement here and there.” Suki chuckles.

“It’s entirely possible Katara and Zuko are going to kill a man...but it’s also possible they won’t be able to find him or he’s already dead.” Sokka offers.

It doesn’t really make any of them feel better, but Xia is just happy she isn’t alone as she questions if there was anything else she could’ve done. 

* * *

Xia wakes up in her tent the next morning, still feeling tired and anxious. It doesn’t feel like she slept at all. She sees the same in Aang as he barely offers her a smile as she finishes preparing breakfast for the group. The air is more somber and quiet as the space Appa usually fills is empty and only reminds them about what they may be powerless to stop.

“Aang, just because Zuko isn’t here, doesn’t mean you can skip out on your training.” Xia says, standing up and cracking her knuckles. 

Aang looks up at her surprised, and through the worry in his eyes she can see how tired he is. Xia can feel it too. They’re both worried about their impulsive friends. 

Aang finally stands and follows Xia slightly away from the group, “Okay, what do you want me to do?”

Xia has him earthbend a square around each of them. “This was one of my favorite games growing up,” Xia grins, “Fire Catch. Except I modified it a bit to help your training. We’re going to pass a blast of flame back and forth to each other but neither of us can move. This will help strengthen your stance and your root, stepping out of your square or losing control of the flame costs you a point.” 

Xia feels relieved to see a spark of excitement in the avatar’s eyes and a genuine smile grace his face, “Zuko never let’s us play games during our sessions.”

She can’t help but laugh because she knows exactly how strict Zuko can be while training, it’s the same way he treated her when he taught her to fight with dual swords. “I’ve always been the more fun one between the two of us.” Xia teases before spinning around and launching a ball of flame towards Aang.

By the end of it, Sokka is yelling at them for nearly burning his tent down and the grass behind Xia is scorched, but Aang grins victoriously at her after winning by just a few points and Xia only smiles innocently at Sokka while leaning an elbow on Aang’s shoulder. 

When Sokka finishes chewing them out, Aang looks up at her with the same victorious grin, “Thanks Xia, I had fun today and I feel like I really strengthened my root.”

Even though she lost and Sokka’s grumbling still echoed throughout the camp, Xia’s smile molded into a softer one, “That’s good, maybe you can convince Zuko that fun and work can go hand in hand.”

Aang shakes his head, “If there’s anyone who can convince him, it’s you.”

Xia wishes she could believe that. 

But she couldn’t even convince him not to chase revenge. But she doesn’t want to shatter the happy atmosphere they created, not when the avatar’s eyes gleamed with happiness for the first time since Katara and Zuko left. “We’ll see,” Xia mused, “Firebenders can be so stubborn sometimes.”

* * *

_ Xia’s plans today involved walking with Zuko and catching up after two days of not seeing him. She had a lot to say about the worst exam she’d ever taken and mochi that her favorite servant, Eiji, had helped her make. Xia wants nothing more than to collapse somewhere with her best friend and talk about anything and everything. _

_ But then she sees Mai sitting alone in the Palace Gardens.  _

_ Her best friend’s girlfriend. _

_ Xia cringes and instinctively looks for a way to avoid her, every conversation they have is awkward and their only connection is through Zuko. Xia can’t help but feel unnerved by dead black eyes that stare into hers, she’s not really sure what exactly her best friend sees in Mai but she’s not about to start a fight about it. _

_ Before she could even go through with her escape plan, Xia sees tears in the girl’s eyes and Xia finds herself walking towards the girl sitting alone in the grass. _

_ “Are you okay?” Xia asks, kneeling down in front of the girl and setting down her container of mochi down next to her.  _

_ She sees surprise in Mai’s eyes and Xia tries to give her warmest smile to ease the tension. _

_ “Zuko and I are fighting.” Mai finally says, after weighing Xia’s trustworthiness.  _

_ Xia’s smile becomes sympathetic. She doesn’t know what they’re fighting about, but she has an idea on what it may have looked like. “Did he start yelling and doing really wild hand gestures before storming off?” Xia asked gently.  _

_ Mai’s mouth dropped slightly and teary eyes widened, “Yeah...how did you know?” _

_ “Even best friends get into fights here and there.” Xia shrugs. _

_ “He hasn’t apologized to me yet...he’s probably not even looking for me.” Mai mumbled, hugging her knees close to her chest as black eyes averted away from Xia’s. _

_ “That means he really messed up and he’s scared, this is your first fight with him isn’t it?” Xia confirmed, “He has no idea how to handle it.” _

_ “So what do I do?” Mai asked hopefully. _

_ “You don’t need to apologize first or anything,” Xia reassures, “but when he’s like this, it’s best to just find him and say you’re ready to talk whenever or offer to take a walk with him. Better yet, ask him if he wants to eat these with you. It lightens the tension.” Xia holds out her container of handmade mochi to Mai. “Sometimes you need to take the first step to bridge the gap.” _

_ “Are you sure?” Mai asked, looking from the box wrapped in pink floral cloth to Xia. _

_ Xia nods with a smile, “I know he can be so stubborn and frustrating but he’s a good person, Mai, you just need to give him a chance here and there.” _

_ Mai hesitantly takes the box, her eyes searching hers for any sign of deceit. The smallest smile graces her face, “Thanks.” _

_ Xia’s smile brightens when she sees an emotion other than gloom or annoyance sent her way, “Tell him I say hi and to stop being so silly.”  _

_ Mai nods before getting up and quickly leaving, probably headed towards Zuko’s room. _

_ Mild disappointment arises as Xia realizes she probably won’t see her best friend until tomorrow. Maybe not even the next day if he has a date with Mai.  _

_ “Don’t be selfish.” Xia tells herself as she slowly makes her way home. Why should she expect Zuko to drop everything for her? _

* * *

Xia’s heart drops when Zuko returns on Appa..but without Katara. For a moment, Xia feels like she can’t breathe and black eyes dart to Sokka who is looking paler by the second.

This can’t be happening.

“Where’s Katara?” Aang and Sokka ask quickly the moment Zuko descends from Appa. 

“She’s fine!” Zuko says quickly, before telling them the entire story. Relief courses through Xia when she realizes both of them are completely safe (Katara just wanted space to think at a dock), and neither of them had committed murder. 

_ I never thought I’d get to be relieved over that.  _ Xia thinks bitterly and finds herself looking away from Zuko. 

“Let’s go see her.” Aang proposes. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Sokka nod before nudging her with his elbow and looking at her expectantly.

Xia would rather stay at the camp and cool down, but she doesn’t want to abandon Sokka.

“I’m with you.” Xia reassures, before following him to Appa. She tries to ignore the flash of hurt in Zuko’s eyes. Instead she takes the boost Sokka gives her on Appa before grabbing his hand and pulling him up. 

Zuko takes a seat next to her, even though she’s supposed to be helping Aang navigate. After giving directions to Aang, Xia can feel his piercing gaze on her before he gently leans on her. “Hey, I-”

“I trained with Aang, don’t worry.” Xia says shortly, not looking at the other firebender. 

“Oh...thanks.” She hears the dejection in Zuko’s voice, but he doesn’t pull away from her, even as she keeps her eyes glued to the clouds they cut through.

Xia can feel anger coursing through her. There’s a million things she wants to say to him, none of which would make either of them feel good. She’s also sure Sokka and Aang don’t want to hear them go back and forth. But underneath all the anger, Xia can’t help the cool tones of relief that flood her. 

“Should we talk about...you know…” Zuko says uncomfortably, and Xia can feel how tense his arm is. 

“Now you want to talk.” She can’t help but sass quietly, still not looking at him. 

“Xia, I-”

“Maybe after we find Katara.” Xia says shortly, “You know, because she’s apparently important enough to end our friendship and a man’s life.”

“Wait…” Zuko trails off, “Don’t tell me you’re jealous.”

Xia finally does look up at him, he has the stupidest soft smile and a glimmer in his gold eyes.

It only annoys Xia because it shows how stupidly unobservant her best friend is. The same boy who was able to track down and follow the avatar, couldn’t even realize that her anger didn’t come from jealousy.

It came from the same source of their conflict for the last few months: betrayal. 

* * *

  
  


Zuko can feel his heart racing as his favorite pair of black eyes finally meet his. 

They look devastatingly angry but Zuko can’t help the smile on his face as he takes in her features contrasting against the orange toned clouds as the sun sets. It reminds him of those days they’d walk around the city as the sun would set. Her voice softened by tiredness but still filled with joy as they talked about anything and everything. Zuko could have a whole day filled with one bad thing after another, but all of his stress or anger would slowly evaporate with every minute he spent with her. His nights would be filled less by the bad things that happened that day, and more with his conversations with Xia. 

Zuko was ready to tell her she didn’t need to feel jealous. His father’s approval, being the perfect prince, coming back to the Fire Nation, none of that made him as happy as being with her. He doesn’t even mind sleeping in a tent while on the run from his own nation, because Xia is there. Zuko wouldn’t change that for the world. There was no reason for her to be jealous because Xia already had his heart.

He has no idea what her plan is for after the war, but he wants to be there with her. Zuko doesn’t care where she drags them, he’ll always be right behind her. It’s his turn to support her, to give her everything she could want and more, to be by her side through thick and thin. To be everything Xia is to him. 

Against the orange skies, glimmering black eyes bore into his. Can she read his mind? She has to know how much she means to him, he left everything behind for her. Zuko is ready to tell her everything he should’ve said before. Before he can start, Xia is already sighing and shaking her head at him. 

* * *

“It’s hard to be jealous over someone who doesn’t care about my feelings.” Xia says coldly. 

She doesn’t look at him as she stands up and makes her way towards the front. Sokka switches places with her and Xia sits next to Aang as he looks up at her worriedly. She smiles down at him reassuringly.

* * *

Xia and Sokka wait by Appa as Aang and Zuko approach Katara on the docks. 

“Are you okay?” Sokka asks, even as their eyes stay glued to the scene of their friends talking. 

Xia shakes her head, “I will be.”

She should be happy to see Zuko and Katara hugging.

The final tension to the group is erased, they can really be a team now.

Except Xia can barely bring herself to properly return Katara’s hug, she can only pat the waterbender’s back softly.

Xia wishes she could stop feeling so bitter. 

Back at their camp, Xia wishes she could laugh and celebrate as easily as her friends. She finds herself fake smiling at jokes but unable to laugh, and she knows Sokka and Toph are onto her. Sokka watches her suspiciously and Xia knows Toph can read her too well. But worst of all is feeling Zuko’s piercing gaze on her, and it’s enough to make her go to her tent early and try to relax. 

She hadn’t slept since Zuko and Katara first left. Sokka and Aang didn’t either. But they’re able to smile as if everything is okay, as if they didn’t spend hours and hours holding their breaths. Xia wishes she could do the same. It should be easy. On one hand, Zuko didn’t commit murder and they both did the right thing at the end of the day. On the other hand, Zuko was fully prepared to risk everything for a murder that wouldn’t help anyone in the long run and he had no problem dismissing her. 

It bothers her how he can say he’s changed before reverting back to his old ways.

  
  


“Xia,” Xia hears Zuko call from outside her tent, “can I come in?”

Her back is to the entrance and in her hand is clutching the fox mask that started it all. This is the last conversation Xia wants to have. But she knows she can’t delay the inevitable. 

“Fine.” Xia agrees reluctantly, not turning as she heard the flaps of the tent open hastily and how quickly Zuko sat down a few feet away from her. 

“I honestly thought you’d be happy to see me.” Zuko admits quietly, “We didn’t kill him. We came back safely. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Xia finally turns and she can’t help the tears of frustration that escape, Zuko’s eyes widen when they meet hers. “Do you realize how scared I was?” Xia turns fully and sits on her knees as she glares up at Zuko, “You were willing to give up everything to  _ murder _ someone. It didn’t matter how upset I was, how disappointed the group would be, the level of danger you were in, or even all those promises you’ve made about changing. You were only looking at how it would benefit you temporarily, and nothing about the long run. What would your uncle think?!?!”

Zuko gaped at her, seemingly trying to process everything Xia said. She couldn’t help as more tears fell down her face, and her hands covered her eyes as she sobbed quietly.

“I was so scared you lost your way again, it was like my worst nightmare. You were becoming Ngoc right in front of my eyes,” Xia whimpered, “I’ve lost so many things to his revenge: my home, my family, my life, my identity, my truth. For three years I really did feel like I died that day, while everyone called him a hero. When we were in the tent, I felt like I was reasoning with Ngoc. You weren’t thinking about collateral damages or the danger, you were thinking about revenge all so Katara would like _ you.” _

Xia can’t help but curl into herself as pained sobs escape her. All the stress she had been keeping in her had finally come out. Maybe she’ll be embarrassed later at how much she’s breaking down, but Xia is hardly thinking of it as she’s consumed by exhaustion and how overwhelmed she feels. “You were ready to lose me over this, you even told me to leave,” Xia says brokenly, “I didn’t realize how little I meant to you.” 

Before she knows it, his hands wrap around her wrist fimly before moving her hands away from her face. Xia looks up to see serious gold eyes closing and finds the grip on her wrist pulling her closer until her hands are against his chest and Zuko’s lips are meeting hers. 

Xia freezes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm late!


	23. Chapter 23

Xia barely notices the slight chapped feeling to Zuko’s lips and Zuko’s racing heartbeat underneath her hands, instead she can barely wrap her mind around the situation. She’s frozen in place with a singular thought.

What. Is. Going. On. 

Instinct kicks in and Xia is shoving him away before standing and backing away, she can feel her eyes widening as she holds her hand over her mouth and looks down at her best friend staring up at her worriedly. 

“W-what was that?” Xia manages to get out. Tears aren’t falling from her eyes anymore, temporarily shocked by the level of confusion as she slowly realizes...Zuko just kissed her. Soon the confusion turns to devastation as she realizes Zuko just cheated on Mai with her. Xia can’t help the nausea as she takes another step away. 

“You thought I didn’t care about you,” Zuko murmurs quietly as he props a knee up and drops his head into his hands, “I wanted to show you that you mean the world to me. You are my way, Xia, you always have been.”

“What about Mai?” Xia yells, “Do you realize what you’re saying?”

“Mai and I broke up, I-” 

Xia cuts Zuko off, “Did you kiss me because you thought it would make me forgive you?”

“No.” Zuko snaps frustratedly, “I knew you were mad at me, I just wasn’t sure why but I came here to apologize. But then you just-UGH!”

Xia’s eyes narrow and her arms cross, “Then I just what, Zuko?” 

“Then you just look at me and my mind just goes blank!” Zuko groans as he stands up while pointing at her, “Then you cry and I know I’m not being rational because all I’m thinking of is doing anything to make you happy. Then I mess up and do the wrong thing and we’re back to square one.” 

“Oh so it’s my fault?” Xia snaps back as she glares up at him defiantly. 

“It’s your fault for making me fall in love with you,” Zuko agrees quietly, “but it’s my fault for not letting you know sooner, for being the worst friend ever, and for letting you believe that you don’t mean the world to me. I’m so sorry, Xia, I failed you again.”

Xia’s eyes soften and she has no idea how to react as Zuko’s intense gaze doesn’t leave her. She’s not even sure if she really believes him as she grapples with traces of anger, confusion, and hurte.“How long?” She asks. Xia thinks it’ll be a short time frame. Maybe in the middle of his strife for revenge. Maybe when he joined their little group. Or was it in the village when they bought meat and had another fight? 

“Honestly. I think I always have.” Zuko sighs, “But I finally realized it when I came back home. I had everything I thought I wanted but I was so unhappy. I had everything except for you, Xia, and everytime I thought of you...I was happier. It felt right. Living in a world without you felt so wrong.”

Xia finds herself holding her breath as the pieces fall into place.

The mountain. 

* * *

_ “You don’t have to love me back but I hate seeing us drift so far apart, I hate knowing I don’t know you as well as I did when we were kids. I hate not being a part of your life!” Zuko pleas. _

* * *

“When you said I didn’t have to love you back, you didn’t mean it in a platonic way.” Xia is mostly murmuring to herself as she places a finger to her chin.

She sees a faint pink dusting over Zuko’s cheeks, “No. It wasn’t.” He says quietly.  His expression looks guilty as gold eyes dart away from hers momentarily.

But that wasn’t the only time, Xia realizes. His choice of jasmine tea, Zuko knew it was her favorite. Him asking her to run as they fled the air temple while he held off the Fire Nation, he was trying to keep her out of harm's way. Even at Ba Sing Se when he was taking care of her. 

But it went further than that.

“The Fire Nation credits that were left on my statue the day Aang passed through  Shú Huí, was that you?” Xia asked. 

Zuko nodded, “I wanted to make sure your spirit could buy fire flakes if I was able to take it back to the Fire Nation.”

And maybe even further than that.

* * *

_ Zuko mused, “Have you ever felt that way before, Xia?” _

_ Xia puts down her brush and glances down at the map decorated with notes of everything the general had done wrong in the attack. “That I wanted to talk to someone more?” She asked with an arched eyebrow.  _

_ “No like,” Zuko sighs frustrated, “You want to give them the world, protect them from anything, see them smile, and you don’t really feel complete without them.” _

_ With a sad smile, Xia looks up from the map and sees him scowling out her window. She can see how bothered he is, and she doesn’t want to add any more to his burden. So she lies. “I haven’t.” _

_ His shoulders drop, so Xia continues. “But I think it’s called love.” _

* * *

Zuko can see the gears turning in her mind as minutes of silence pass. “Do you remember when you told me what love was?” He asks quietly, watching as her eyes flicker back to his while she nods. “I didn’t realize it then, but everything you said...I felt it with you. I still feel it now.” Zuko has no idea how he was to say it so evenly, because inside his heart is hammering against his chest and he’s panicking.

His heart is pounding in his chest and Zuko is terrified because there’s no reason for her to love him. He’s brash, he’s cold, he makes all the wrong decisions, and he’s amazing at making her cry. It’s a cakewalk to love Xia, but it’s a path made of broken glass to love Zuko. 

He knows.

But even then, he still stands there and holds his breath. He’s still clinging onto the smallest chance that Xia could love him after everything he’s done. That she could trust him to care for her heart like she’s always cared for him. 

Thinking about it now, Zuko should walk away so he doesn’t force her to break the bad news to him, it would be easier for her.

She would be so much happier without him.

“It’s okay if you don’t love me back.” Zuko says seriously, “I just want you to know I really am sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you...and that I’ll always protect you.”

Xia sighs and frowns at him, “You know, Zuko, you can be really stupid sometimes.”

Zuko looks away with a cringe and can feel his heart shatter, warm tears coating his eyes.

He should’ve known. 

He stands frozen as she suddenly rustles through her armor before standing closer to him. 

Her hand takes his gently and lifts it before she places a small brown satchel in his hand. Zuko looks confused.

“Open it.” Xia coaxes gently. He can’t read her expression as he carefully opens the brown satchel and sees a dried plant inside it. 

Zuko glances at her apprehensive as he pulls it out. It looks like some sort of flower, and its stem is broken. “What’s this?” He asks, glancing at her and the dried up flower with a broken stem in his hand.

“You don’t recognize it?” Xia asks with a slight tilt of her head. 

Zuko could swear he sees the lightest lilt to her lips. “I’m not the best at recognizing plants. That’s more of my uncle’s thing.” He admits, and he’s confused as Xia shakes her head gently at him.

* * *

Xia can see the confusion in his eyes as he stares at the dry flower and her.

She knows she shouldn’t play games like this, she knows revenge isn’t good.

But it’s the only way he can really understand how she feels about him.

“If you were wondering how I felt about you, that’s your answer.” She says, pointing at the flower. 

Xia sees hurt flash across his face as he stares in despair.

* * *

“This is a dead flower,” Zuko says emptily, “does this mean you hate me?” Zuko feels cold dread taking over him. He’s frozen as he slowly sinks to the realization that she doesn’t love him back.

He shouldn’t be surprised but he still can’t help the numbing feeling of shock and sadness. Zuko can’t even bring himself to run.

He feels so empty.

“Look a little closer. What do the petals remind you of?” Xia asks gently. 

Zuko stares at the shriveled mess in his hands. Desperately trying to search for what it could mean. His heart races when he finally realizes the petals are slim and triangular. “It’s a fire lily.” Zuko murmurs, his head snapping up to meet her eyes. 

All at once, Zuko knows exactly how she feels about him.

* * *

_ “Xia, when I grow up I want to marry you.” Eight year old Prince Zuko claimed as gold eyes watched her fiercely and nervousness bubbled in him. To his horror, the stem of the fire lily he held up to her was snapped in half due to the sheer force of his nervous grip. _

_ Black eyes softened and as excitement took over her features, “I want to marry you too, Zuko, you’re my bestest friend in the entire world.”  _

_ The young prince’s face broke out into a grin and he quickly took her hand, gently placing the broken fire lily into her palm. He was caught off guard by the girl throwing her arms around him in a fierce hug, but in that moment he didn’t seem to mind as he fell to the ground with his best friend on top of him.  _

* * *

Xia laughs as she sees his jaw drop and glassy gold eyes meet hers.

“You’ve been holding onto it this whole time?” Zuko asks softly. 

“It’s the most important thing in the world to me.” She smiles as she gazes at the shriveled flower cradled in Zuko’s hands. The flower she kept in her room all of those years. The one she tucked into her armor as she sailed away from her home to fight a war she didn’t understand. The one that fell with her off the cliffs of  Shú Huí. The one that stayed over her heart even she donned the fox mask. The one that stayed even as she was burned.

Xia had carried that shriveled fire lily with a broken stem close to her heart, because it was the last thing she had of the one she’s loved for as long as she could remember.

Her best friend.

Zuko.

She helps Zuko tuck the flower into its satchel before placing it on top of her armor. When she turns, Zuko is still looking at her surprised. 

“I’m still pretty angry.” Xia admits, “What you did was so dangerous and reckless, and you had the audacity to give me my first kiss in the middle of one of our fights. ”

“I’m so sor-”

Xia walks closer to him and gently places her hands on his shoulder before leaning up to press the gentlest kiss against his lips. She pulls away with a smile and a light blush coating her cheeks, “But I love you too.”

“You really shouldn’t.” Zuko scoffed, but Xia couldn’t help but delight in the way he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close.

She can feel her face heating up more and she ends up burying her face into his robe because holding him like this feels so different.

“Everytime you tell me I shouldn’t do something, it always turns out okay.” Xia laughed in his red tunic. 

“I told you not to go to Shú Huí, look what happened.” Zuko complained.

Xia pulled away with a mischievous grin, “The Earth Kingdom created a legend. That’s pretty good in my books.”

Zuko rolls his eyes but his blush mirrored hers and the smile on his face had no anger or annoyance to it.

“And now you’re telling me not to love you, and now I have a handsome, awkward, angry, kind, stubborn, boyfriend.” Xia teased.

“You’re really selling me here.” Zuko says sarcastically, before pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

They spend the rest of the night in her tent, cuddling in her bedroll and talking about anything and everything.

Just when Xia can feel her eyes drifting shut with her ear pressed against Zuko’s chest, she’s brought back awake to his sleepy mumbling.

“You have no idea how scared I was,” Zuko murmured while running a hand through her hair, “I was so scared you wouldn’t survive the trip to the Fire Nation.”

“I wouldn’t have. I was so sure my last moments would be alone in that ship.” Xia agreed. 

She felt Zuko hold her tightly as a shaky breath left him, “I can’t lose you again, Xia, I’m not sure if I could handle it.” 

Xia smiled softly and sat up, staring down at worried gold eyes and his frowning expression. “You should know by now, I’m hard to get rid of.”

Zuko chuckled and pulled her back down towards him, “Lucky me.”

“Lucky you.” Xia laughed before shutting her eyes. 

Zuko waved the candle light away and Xia felt herself drifting to sleep with the sound of his heartbeat. 

Her boyfriend isn’t the most perfect person in the world, but Xia knows he has a heart of gold. One that races for her and forces his walls down when he’s with her. She knows tonight isn’t their last fight, they’ll need to re-learn everything about each other, and really work on their communication skills.

It won’t be easy, but Xia knows he’d do the same for her.

He already has. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliff hanger from the last chapter, thank you for all your support!


	24. Chapter 24

Xia had only visited the royal family’s vacation home on Ember Island a few times. More often than not, her family’s vacations didn’t align with the Zuko’s. Where royalty could take vacations when they pleased, Xia had multiple Ember Island vacations get cancelled because one of her parents got called away to a battle, training troops, or just other military duties. Xia hadn’t minded too much, it just meant they would get to spend more time vacationing at her mother’s village during the colder months. 

  
But unlike her visits to Zuko’s vacation home before, this time she spars with Zuko. 

Xia loves how easily determination ignites Zuko’s eyes as they spar like it’s life or death. She loves how easy it is to trust each other. They can go at each other’s throats with full confidence the other person can evade or counter attacks, there’s no fear of injury or burns even as they push each other’s limits. 

“I thought you guys were dating!” Katara cried from the sidelines, “This is too dangerous, you two need to-”

“HIT’EM WITH THE ONE TWO, XIA!” Sokka cheered.

“NO MERCY, SIFU HOTMAN, FIREBALLS ALL DAY!” Toph cheered.

Xia’s eyes narrow at her boyfriend, she can see the sweat running down the side of Zuko’s face as intense golden eyes meet hers. His pale torso is covered with light sheen of sweat as well, Xia had stopped blushing over the fact he was shirtless after it allowed Zuko an opportunity to try and break her root. 

“Ready to give up?” Zuko challenges.

“You wish.” Xia taunted before launching herself towards him.

It’s an exhilarating match, only heightened by Toph and Sokka’s yelling while Katara frets and Suki reminds Aang to take notes. Xia loses her footing as Zuko sends a burst of flames towards her feet. Just as she feels herself stumbling backwards, Zuko’s arm immediately wraps around her waist and his other hand grabs one of her flailing arms. 

The serious look is still on his face as asks, “Well?” 

“You win.” Xia agrees with a light laugh. In the background she can hear Sokka complaining as Toph cackles. “Here’s your prize!” Xia stands on the tips of her toes to press a kiss to Zuko’s cheek before backing away with a laugh. 

Zuko’s face melts into a soft smile.

* * *

“You should start training, Aang, I’ll clean this dusty house.” His girlfriend grins as she pulls away from Zuko.

“I can help you after!” Zuko insisted as she turns away, long curled black hair bobbing while she walked away. Xia flashes him the sweetest smile over his shoulder and Zuko can feel his heart skip a beat as his eyes zero in on that smile directed just for him.

Zuko has no idea what he did to deserve her. 

“I’ll be okay, don’t go too hard on him.” She warned, patting Aang on the shoulder as she made her way into his home.

“You two really go at each other’s throats.” Suki notes with surprise, “I actually got a little worried for a minute.”

“No need.” Toph says nonchalantly, “They’re too in love with each other to really hurt the other.”

“Besides, Xia is great at dodging things. She dodged Zuko’s lovestruck look for days.” Sokka smirked. 

“Did you see the way he was looking at her on the way here?” Katara giggled, “Xia was looking at the clouds but Zuko wouldn’t look away from her. It’s a miracle we made it here without getting lost.” 

Zuko finds himself blushing because he didn’t realize how painfully obvious he was. He can’t help the smile on his face as he remembers how Xia felt in his arms as she talked about what different clouds looked like to her. 

“Are you ready, Aang?” Zuko forces himself to regain composure, his attention shifting to the young Avatar. 

* * *

Xia huffs out a breath as she removes the white cloth mask from her face. She still has a couple of hallways and rooms to clean, but she allows herself a break as she glances around the spotless guest room that had housed her parents numerous times. 

Xia sits on the bed and glances around the sunlit room. It feels emptier now, without her parents bags left near a closet or her mother’s favorite hand fan sitting on the low table near the window. Bittersweet memories of being the royal family’s guests emerged. Delicious meals, her father’s booming laughter mingled with Zuko’s parents as Xia’s mother would scold him for his foolishness. Even then, Xia would always see her mother’s fond smile win out. 

Xia doesn’t know how long she sits there, remembering her days spent on Ember Island and the times where her parents paused their military lifestyle. Times where Xia could go out in public and refer to her parents as something other than “General Arjun” or “General Lijuan”. 

“I thought I’d find you here.” Zuko’s voice said softly. He’s standing in the doorway, leaning against the edge, still shirtless and lightly glistened in sweat from training. “Katara made me give Aang a break.” 

Xia leans into his embrace when he sits next to her on the bed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. 

“Are you okay?” There’s worry in her boyfriend’s voice. 

“I have so many bittersweet memories about this place,” Xia admits, “but when I think of you..everything just feels sweet.” She looks up just in time to see Zuko’s cheeks glow as he looks at her embarrassed. She can’t help the laugh that leaves her as Zuko just pulls her into a tight hug, hiding away his face in her hair.

“I don’t know how you do it.” Zuko grumbles.

“How I do what?” Xia asks with faux innocence. 

“You know what!”

They sit in silence for a little longer, just enjoying the other’s presence. She still can’t believe they’re a couple. Zuko is her boyfriend. The thought is enough to send her heart racing as bliss engulfs her, almost as warm as Zuko’s embrace. How did she get so lucky? She’s in love with her best friend, her best friend loves her back. Zuko loves her back. 

“Well, the past doesn’t really matter.” Xia concludes, pushing away from him lightly to look at him, “We get to make new memories now.”

Zuko smiles softly before tilting her head up gently and pressing the sweetest kiss to her lips. 

When he pulls away, Zuko presses his forehead against hers, “I should probably continue training Aang, wanna watch? You’ve been cleaning for so long.”

She still has a lot more to do but Xia would much rather prefer the view outside rather than another dusty corridor. 

“Sure, Sifu Hotman.” She teases, laughing as he rolls his eyes and takes her hand gently in his.

* * *

Xia sits in the shade with Toph and Katara as Zuko and Aang work on their firebending forms. 

“I thought Zuko had it bad.” Katara suddenly said.

Xia immediately frowns and looks to the waterbender, “What do you mean? His form is perfect and-”

“No, I meant the love struck look he keeps sending you. But you’re doing it too.” Katara laughs, “You’ve been smiling at Zuko this whole time.”

It’s then Xia realizes the mild soreness in her face. It’s not from fighting or frowning, it’s from looking at Zuko and just smiling. The revelation only makes Xia’s eyes widen and a blush to paint itself across her cheeks. She’s confident she’s never felt this way about anyone else. She’s never just sat, stared, and smiled at a person long enough for her face to feel sore. Xia finds she loves that bubbly feeling in her chest and she loves that it only feels stronger as she turns back to see Zuko deeply immersed in helping the avatar. 

“I guess I have been.” Xia admits and she feels herself smiling again as she tries to will her blush to go down when she catches Zuko’s eyes on hers.

“Wow, even your heart is beating like crazy.” Toph snickered. 

Xia’s hand drifts over her chest and feels it beating rapidly, she’s almost scared that her heart will crash through her chest. 

“Is it at the same pace as Zuko’s?” Katara grins. 

“Now that you mention it-”

“Okay, okay, I get it!” Xia laughs, burying her face in her hands while the other two laugh.

“What’s so funny?” She hears Aang ask.

“Just Xia and Zuko being dorks for each other.” Toph grins, punching Xia on the arm.

Xia’s eyes drift to Zuko and the amused glint in his eyes.

She sees his face break into a soft smile before regaining his composure and giving Aang a stern look, ordering him to repeat the moves again because he stumbled earlier.

It goes that way for a little longer before Aang nails the steps and they both take a break. Xia brings a towel for each of them and sits next to Zuko. 

“Doesn’t it seem kind of weird that we’re hiding from the Fire Lord in his own house?” Katara muses.

“I told you,” Zuko says as he’s wiping himself down, “My father hasn’t come here since our family was actually happy.” 

Xia can pinpoint the last time. 

It was before Ursa disappeared. 

“And that was a long time ago.” Zuko confirms, “It’s the last place anyone would think to look for us.” Xia places a comforting hand on his back as he leans forward, she can feel the tension on his back. She should probably remind him to remember his posture, but Xia refrains since he had been training so hard today. 

“You guys are not gonna believe this!” Sokka’s voice echoes through the courtyard. He’s holding a large scroll in one hand and Xia is worried that it’s a wanted poster for all of them. “There’s a play about us!”

“We were just in town and we found this poster!” Suki grins excitedly as Sokka whips out the scroll poster.

Decorating it are drawn portraits of Aang, Katara, and Sokka with details about showtimes and the cast. 

“What? How is that possible?” Katara asks, as she reads through the poster. 

Xia’s eyes are drawn to the way they portrayed her friends. With a heavy layer of blush over Katara’s face, insanely long and accentuated eyelashes for Aang, and Sokka with more toned arms and chest. In the background of all, intense gold eyes were illustrated, a scar burnt over the left eye. But even with those inaccuracies, the poster is still a pretty good representation of her friends. 

“Listen to this!” Sokka continues with gleaming eyes. He reads the description of the play,  _ The Boy in the Iceberg,  _ created by Puan Tin. The playwright had adventured all over the world and collected stories of the avatar. Xia had to bite her lip to hold in her laugh as the sources included singing nomads, pirates, prisoners of war and a cabbage merchant. The diverse sources only showed how much of the world her friends had touched. 

But then Suki mentioned it was performed by the Ember Island players and Xia immediately broke into laughter while Zuko groaned. 

“That’s great!” Xia managed to say, wiping a tear from her eye as Zuko gently bumped her with his shoulder. The irony is too great. A play starring Zuko with his “favorite” actors.

“It’s not!” Zuko complained, “My mother used to take us to see them. They butchered  _ Love Amongst the Dragons  _ every year.”

“I’m such a fan, they really aren’t that bad!” Xia protested as her laughter died down. 

Zuko gives her the most bewildering look, “They really are! Didn’t your mother hate them?” 

“She hated them with a passion.” Xia agreed with the fondest smile, “But Dad and I loved them! That’s so cool that they made a play about you guys!” Xia can’t help but feel a little jealous that her friends get to be portrayed by  _ the  _ Ember Island Players, but she’s really just glad there’s a play about her friends. 

“Sokka, do you really think it’s a good idea for us to attend a play about ourselves?” Katara asks worriedly?”

“Come on, a day at the theater?” Sokka begs as he holds up the poster again, “This is the kind of wacky time-wasting nonsense I’ve been missing!”

“Please, Katara, seeing the Ember Island Players used to be my favorite part of vacations!” Xia begged.

“What about the two of us playing at the beach?” Zuko demanded, putting a hand over her knee.

“Not now, Zuko.” Xia reassured, gently squeezing his hand before turning back to Katara with pleading eyes. 

“I think it’ll be fun! A play about us, that’s crazy!” Aang grinned.

“Oh alright.” Katara relents and the group cheers as Zuko groans. 

* * *

“Aww! Lighten up, Zuko, it can’t be too bad. You’re in it.” Xia teased. 

The play hadn’t started as Xia sat with his arm around her shoulder and Aang on the other side of her. She couldn’t see her boyfriend’s face fully with the black cloak he was wearing, but she could see the edge of a scowl on his face. 

“That’s exactly why it might be  _ terrible _ .” Zuko grumbles back. 

Xia immediately frowns and gently turns his face to hers, “Don’t be so mean to yourself.” She murmurs before placing a light kiss against his jaw and feels him hug her a little closer.

“Why are we sitting in the nosebleed section? My feet can’t see a thing from up here.” Toph complained.

“This is the safest spot for us.” Xia reminds gently, “Also this is a great spot! We get to see the entire stage, not like the chumps in the first row who have to keep turning their heads.” 

“Xia, we used to sit in the first row.” Zuko says deadpanned. 

“I know, look how much we’ve upgraded.” Xia grins. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell your feet what’s happening.” Katara smiles as the red curtains draw upwards.

* * *

It takes every ounce of self control for Zuko not to laugh at his girlfriend. They’re only minutes into the play and Xia is sitting next to him frozen. Black eyes widened with horror and a hand covering her mouth. 

Truthfully, Zuko isn’t even surprised. It’s exactly like the Ember Island Players to ruin things, he even told Xia.

He lets himself turn his attention away from the trainwreck on the stage and instead focus on the way black eyes followed every movement and the stage light glimmering in bright black eyes. It’s dark, but Zuko can’t help but think how beautiful Xia looks even in the dim lighting. 

“Zuko.” She suddenly whispers, leaning closer to him but still watching the stage.

She has no idea how much of his attention she’s captured, the amount of influence she holds. 

“Yeah?” He whispers back.

“You were right. This is terrible.” Her other hand is reaching for his and clutching it tightly. She’s probably still trying to comprehend what they’re all seeing on stage. A female Aang who acts more like a trickster, an overdramatic Katara who always sounds near tears, a Sokka who makes even worse jokes than usual, and a feral acting Appa.

“It just started, maybe it gets better.” He teased and smirked as she shot him the most unimpressed look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super sorry for the delay! A lot of stuff came up in my life and when I finally found time to write, I found myself struggling to put Xia into the Ember Island players narrative. I have most of the next chapter drafted up, so It should be published in a few days.


	25. Chapter 25

Out of the corner of her eye, Xia can see her boyfriend  _ genuinely enjoying _ the horrors happening on stage. A smile across his face as he watches the action intently while Xia isn’t sure if she should be laughing or cringing away. The only person who might be enjoying this more than Zuko is Toph who’s cackling as Aang rages next to Xia.

She takes back all the feelings of jealousy she felt before, Xia is glad she isn’t in this play. 

She’ll never see an Ember Island Players production again.

Xia almost screams as a Fire Nation prop ship rolls onto stage and her eyes zero in on the actor playing Zuko. A headpiece with a scar (that doesn’t even match the actor’s skin tone) and hair the same length and texture as Xia’s while an Iroh with large bushy eyebrows stands behind him.

Xia laughs because they got the dialogue 100% accurate. 

“They make me look totally stiff and humorless.” Zuko complains.

“Actually, I think that actor’s pretty spot on.” Katara grins.

“Yup, his first line is about honor.” Xia agrees as Zuko shoots her a deadly glare.

“How could you say that?” Zuko demands turning back to Katara.

“Let’s forget about the avatar and get massages!” Iroh’s actor proposes.

Zuko’s actor yells, “How could you say that?” 

Xia is trembling with silent laughter as Zuko practically deflates next to her.

Xia’s smile is wiped off her face when the scene changes to Aang, Katara, and Sokka eating dinner with Chief Suzu. 

Oh no.

She should’ve known. 

The stage is filled with the sounds of a woman making terrible ghost noises and then a person wearing a recreation of her mother’s armor and a fox mask waltzes onto the stage. Xia stares in awe at the fact her actress is wearing high heeled boots and fishnet tights, she’s also still making those ghost noises. “I am the Red Fox Spirit! The second greatest traitor of the Fire Nation!” Her actress calls out, while flipping her straight black hair over her shoulder as she stands on top of the dinner table. The only accurate thing about this scene is Sokka’s actor screaming.

Xia’s character is met with roars of laughter that only make her sink further into her seat.

Her friends are part of the laughing crowd. Zuko is looking at her with the most annoying smirk as Sokka and Toph laugh breathlessly.

“There’s so many things wrong with this.” Xia says deadpanned as she crosses her arms and glares at the scene on stage.

“Ooooooooo, Avataaaaar,” Her character continues while wiggling her fingers in the air, “I will protect you with my ghostly abilities. OoooooOOOooo!” Her actress won’t stop flipping her black hair back and forth. 

Xia buries her face in Zuko’s shoulder. “Make it stop.” She groans.

She can feel him trembling with laughter even as he rubs circles into her hand comfortingly, “Not a fan of the accuracy?” He asks.

Xia huffs and turns her attention back to the dumpster fire on stage where her actress parades around in her mother’s uniform, a fox mask, and really cheesy ghost noises. 

“I’m just kidding! I’m not really a ghost.” Xia’s character laughs, “I just pretend to be dead to scare the Fire Nation!” Her actress bows exaggeratedly as the crowd cheers. 

“Oh, Red Fox Spirit, you’re such an incurable trickster! We should be best friends!” Aang’s actress jokes as she hugs Xia’s character.

Xia and Aang exchange an annoyed look before scowling at the stage again.

“You and I can adventure together! We’d make the best team, I can even teach you how to hold my boomerang!” Sokka’s character grins lewdly. The crowd laughs wholeheartedly.

“I can’t, my job is to betray the Fire Nation.” Xia’s character says dramatically.

The playwright had even gone the extra mile to cover her first battle with Zuko. Of course, it wasn’t accurate at all.

“You’re alive!” Zuko’s character gasps, “How?”

“A vengeful Earth Kingdom witch brought me back to life! Now I can spend the rest of my life fighting the Fire Nation!” Her character says proudly, Xia can’t help but facepalm. At the same time blaring anger courses through her as she realizes the playwright is implying Seiko is a witch. 

“You are a traitor to the Fire Nation!” Zuko’s character roared, “I’ll kill you for your betrayal!”

“Having one scar makes you look ugly,” Xia’s character smirked, “let’s hope having two fixes that!” 

“Wow, did you really say that?” Sokka whispers.

“Of course not!” Xia snapped. 

The playwright obviously favors Zuko over her, because the battle ends with her character setting a fire before running away. A fire that burns down the village. 

“The playwright really loves you.” Xia said bitterly, crossing her arms as the crowd cheered for Zuko’s character.

“I’m not so sure about that, are you seeing the wig they gave me?” Zuko replies, equally bitter.

“Actually, it looks a lot like my hair.” Xia snorted. 

A few scenes later, Xia can’t help but feel jealous. They portrayed the Blue Spirit much better than the Red Fox Spirit. Next to her, Zuko and Aang both cringe. Xia assumes it’s because Aang’s character swoons while Zuko’s character is chased off the stage.

* * *

As soon as the curtain closes for intermission, Xia stands up with a stretch and a frown. “I need a snack after that terrible performance.” She grumbles.

“You and me both!” Sokka agrees, “Wanna raid the concession stands with me?”

“Don’t spend too much on food.” Katara warns. 

“And don’t talk to anyone you don’t have to, we don’t need anyone recognizing us.” Zuko adds.

“We’ll be fiiine.” Sokka reassures, “We’ll meet you at the closest balcony!”

Xia and Sokka push through the crowds, between them there’s a silent agreement to spend anything and everything necessary to buy the best snacks. 

Sokka’s eyes glow with delight as they flicker through all the foods in the concession stand. “Okay, Lee, what are we working with?” He asks. Xia frowns at the name he chooses for her, there's like thousands of Lee’s in the Fire Nation.

“Well, Wang, there’s a lot of options. I feel like you’ll enjoy the meaty snacks over there but I’m more of a fire flake girl.” Xia advises. 

“Okay so we buy both. Why? Because we deserve the best.” Sokka says as he takes out the credits. 

“And if we get both, we can do a snack trade.” Xia agrees as she takes the credits and turns to the vendor.

“Sounds good to me!” Sokka grins as the vendor works on putting their order together. 

* * *

  
  
  


“What took you guys so long?” Zuko asked as Xia sat beside him on the staircase with a bag of fire flakes. Xia only smiles and places a fire flake towards his lip, which he begrudgingly chews.

“Just strategizing an order.” Xia says gently as Sokka laments how the playwright thought he was an idiot with bad jokes. 

It’s how they end up talking about how bad their portrayals are.

“Listen friends. It’s obvious that the playwright did his research.” Toph says with a smirk as she crosses her arms, “I know it must hurt, but what you’re seeing up there on that stage is the truth.”

Xia can’t help but grumble, “I don’t remember standing on Chief Suzu’s table and making ghost noises.” 

“You’re supposed to be dead, Xia, it was probably the only way he could convey it.” Toph laughed.

Before Xia could snap back, Zuko pushes a fireflake towards her mouth with a look that says, ‘you’re not winning this one’.

* * *

Toph’s actor is almost as ripped as the Boulder she met during the invasion. Xia leans over in her seat and glances from the hulking man on stage to the petite girl sitting at the end of their row with the brightest smile on her face.

“Accurate my butt.” Xia grumbles as she leans back in her seat with folded arms, not even flinching as Toph’s actor lets out a devastating shriek to show off their alternative vision. The saddest part is that Toph’s actor wears an outfit almost exactly like Toph’s. Xia’s actress couldn’t even hold a candle to her accuracy (“You two do look alike- but you’re obviously prettier!” Zuko had yelped when Xia sent him an immediate glare laced with daggers).

And then it hits the cave scene with Katara and Zuko. 

It’s the same time Xia realizes she doesn’t really know what happened in the cave. She knows Zuko gained Katara’s trust, but Xia didn’t know how it happened. 

Xia can’t help but feel a little sick as Katara proposes her love towards Zuko and cuddles him. It’s the first time Zuko’s character smiles in the production. Out of the corner of her eye she sees an uncomfortable look on Zuko’s face and the pieces fall into place, a little more clear than they were before.

Suddenly the arm draped over Xia’s shoulder feels too heavy and Xia can’t help but shift uncomfortably. The betrayal Katara was talking about...did it have to do with what she was seeing on stage? The sinking feeling in her stomach continued as more things began to make sense. Zuko’s willingness to kill someone. Katara’s heightened hurt over Zuko’s betrayal. How quick Zuko was to protect Katara at the Air Temple. All of it makes more sense. 

She tries to tell herself it’s the past but the past is very recent. It’s more recent than Mai and it might even overlap his claimed love for Xia.

That terrifies her. 

But she doesn’t pull away from his grip, instead Xia leans in closer and places a hand on his thigh. There’s so many questions on her mind but Xia reminds herself that the Zuko on stage isn’t the Zuko holding her in his arms now. She’s watching one of the worst plays in the world, it’s littered with inaccuracies.

The Zuko holding her had never lied.

“You’re shifting too much.” Zuko mumbles, pulling her a little closer.

“You’re flirting too much.” Xia shoots back, pointing at his character accusingly.

“ _ He’s  _ flirting too much. That’s not what happened at all.” Zuko complains.

The panic leaves her heart and Xia feels even safer than she did before. 

Xia watches Zuko betray Iroh and doesn’t hesitate to rub his shoulder as he slouches forward with a scowl. His character continued to shout “I hate you” to the greatest general Xia had ever known. It’s a play, she reminds herself, this didn’t really happen.

“You didn’t really say that, did you?” Katara asks worriedly.

“I might as well have.” Zuko admits.

Xia only frowns but squeezes his shoulder reassuringly. 

She wants to tell him it’s just a play, that he shouldn’t let it hurt him like this. But the next scene renders Xia mute. 

It’s her “death”. 

Even with the lightning her death is a quiet one. One moment she’s fighting Azula gracefully, dodging and sending fireballs without mercy. Her actress performs beautiful acrobatics and there’s not a whole lot of dialog in the scene.

“You could’ve been great! We could’ve fought side by side!” Azula’s actress says in a bland tone.

The lightning gets darker until Azula’s lightning bolt is illuminated and sent into Xia’s heart.

Xia knows what she’s seeing isn’t real and it isn’t accurate. The girl being struck by Azula’s lightning on stage isn’t her, and that never happened. 

The theater is dead quiet as her body lies in the middle of the stage, unmoving with black hair fanned around her.

Xia hears the hitch in Zuko’s breath and can feel him stiffening next to her. Her heart melts and she doesn’t hesitate to hold his hand tightly and lean against him. “It’s not real, I’m right here.” She murmurs as his hand clutches her tightly.

“You’re right here. You’re alive.” He repeats quietly.

“Yup, and you haven’t been able to get rid of me yet.” Xia teases. 

Zuko relaxes slightly and Xia allows herself to remember that she didn’t die in Shú Huí and she didn’t die in Ba Sing Se. She’s more alive than ever, surrounded by her closest friends and the love of her life.

* * *

The intermission is a more somber one. Sokka and Suki go to hunt down Sokka’s actor to give him some tips. Aang is nowhere to be found so Katara looks for him. Zuko contemplates his betrayal and Xia finds herself thinking about her death. Specifically, the crowd’s reaction to her death.

Truthfully, she expected cheering. Not the somber eyes of strangers watching her death with wet eyes. Xia had done the unthinkable and she knew she could never really go home to the Fire Nation. Not after everything she had done. Xia had made peace with that ages ago.

So why did the crowd cry for the girl who chopped off her topknot? Why were they crying for the Red Fox Spirit?

“I’ll be right back. I need to do a bit of investigating.” Xia tells Toph and Zuko, as she redoes her ponytail. 

“Are you finding your actress too?” Zuko asks, finally looking up from his lap.

“Not quite.” Xia says, leaning down to press a quick kiss to his forehead before making her way into the crowd. 

Her ears desperately tried to pick up on conversations, searching for any mention of her death. When she thinks she finally finds one, she forces herself to lean casually on the wall with her eyes closed.

“I wonder if General Arjun has seen this play.”

“I highly doubt it. He’s only taken one vacation since his daughter’s fake death. It was to visit his wife’s family personally to deliver the news of her passing.”

“It’s really such a tragedy, he’s lost the most to this war.”

“I hear that his only breaks from work are to buy flowers for a small shrine he keeps for his daughter.”

“That’s an improvement, when he first learned about her wandering spirit, General Arjun spent almost all of his credits on people who claimed they could commune with her.” 

“Imagine, he finally finds out his daughter is alive only to be taken away in an instant. Hasn’t he been through enough?”

“If there’s anyone who deserves the happiest ending, it’s General Arjun.”

“Sadly, it’s impossible for him. I think his daughter really did die this time.”

Xia can’t bring herself to listen anymore. Suddenly the somber silence that fell over the theatre makes sense. Her eyes sting with tears as she rushes to the nearest empty balcony and finds herself burying her face in her hands trying to slow her breathing and will away falling tears.

The selfishness of her actions truly sinks in as she realizes her father didn’t move on in the way Xia hoped he would

She hoped he’d be angry, hateful, unemotional, she even hoped he’d remarry and start a new family. Anything but the empty and depressed man she has to hear about from the crowds. Not the man who’s nation cries for him as they watch her dance on stage like the disappointment she-

“Hey. What’s wrong?” Zuko’s voice is alarmed as he quickly rushes over. Gentle but firm hands wrap themselves around her wrists and pull her hands away from her face. Worried gold eyes meet hers and it only makes Xia cry more. “Are you hurt? What happened?” Zuko presses as he scans her for injuries.

“I left him alone, he’s suffered so much because of me.” Xia manages to get out, looking away from her boyfriend shamefully. 

“Who?” He asks alarmed, suddenly taking her face and tilting her head up to his.

“My dad. I heard some other people from the audience talking, I didn’t realize how much he was suffering.” Xia hiccuped, and she tries so hard not to imagine her father sitting at a shrine for her.

_ “When you and your friends win...come home for dinner. You know I don’t like to eat by myself.” _

Her father’s voice resonates through her head. Knowing everything she does now, she realizes it was more than just an empty dinner table that haunted her father. 

“I should’ve done more to come home or at least tell him that I’m alive.”

Zuko’s eyes soften, “Xia, is there really anything you could’ve done? There’s a lot of things wrong about this play, but they still managed to show how all of this was against your will.”

“No one forced me to stay, I could’ve escaped. I could’ve sent a letter. I could’ve done anything but leave my dad in the dark.” Xia said tearfully closing her eyes in pain. 

She hears Zuko take the shakiest breath before he gently wipes away tears from her cheeks. It’s quiet, save for her sniffling and occasional wimpers. Xia’s mind is racing with all the ways she disgraced her own father. The father who would give her anything she asked for and treated her like a princess. The father who loved her unconditionally and did everything he could to protect her. 

“It’s funny.” Zuko finally says.

Brokenly, Xia’s eyes meet his as she whispers, “What?”

“Wait, I, hang on.” Zuko takes a deep breath, “It’s funny how we’re both in the same boat. Of all the people in the world, it’s us.”

Xia almost thinks he’s talking about Firelord Ozai. Then she remembers the last hug she shared with General Iroh.

“I guess no matter how you spin it, we both betrayed someone who meant the world to us.” Xia admits, “You didn’t have much of a choice either.”

“I had more choices than you.” Zuko sighs, pulling her closer and leaning his chin on the top of her head. “How did you feel when I betrayed you? What did you want from me?”

Xia can hear Zuko’s heartbeat in her ear, a faint smile crosses her face when she realizes it’s racing just as fast as hers. She allows herself to remember the days that followed after their fight, wondering how her best friend could become so..heartless. 

What did she want from Zuko then? What did she want during those sleepless nights? Why did she allow herself to dream of the past when the present tried to burn her?

“I wanted to know your part of the story. I wanted to know if you regretted anything.” Xia finally says, “Even if it wasn’t an apology, I just wanted to speak to you as you. Not as an enemy, not as the crown prince, just you.” 

Zuko hums above her, she can feel his fingers running through her black hair. “We can try giving it to our families then.” He says softly.

“If it doesn’t work?” Xia asks quietly, gently pulling away and looking up at him worriedly.

She sees the same fear in gold eyes as a frown pulls at her boyfriend’s lips. 

“I don’t know, Xia,” Zuko confesses, “but we’ll figure it out. Together.”

She nods before wrapping her arms around Zuko’s neck and pulling him into a hug. Their problems are far from over. After they step from this balcony, the play will mock their lives, the war will be in the back of their minds, all while they try to figure out how to tell their truths to the ones they’ve wronged.

Xia is scared. She’s still flooded by guilt. But with Zuko holding her tightly, she doesn’t feel like she’s drowning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all of the love and support! I've received so many kind messages and I'm truly amazed at the amount of kudos this has.Whether you've been reading since I published or a new reader giving it a shot, thank you so much for giving my work the time of day.


	26. Chapter 26

The play is caught up to the present. They had reluctantly accepted Zuko’s actor into their group and Xia’s actress remains dead.

“So the Fire Nation doesn’t know you’re alive either?” Sokka asks in a lowered voice.

“I don’t know, Zuko, did anyone say anything?” Xia asks.

“Azula didn’t want anyone to know you escaped. So she just ordered the soldiers to say you died in Ba Sing Se.” Zuko explains, and Xia sees him wincing.

Xia turns back to the stage with a frown, she can’t imagine how her father must’ve reacted. She’s glad she bumped into him during the invasion. At least he knows she’s alive now...but she can only imagine how disappointed and angry her father is with her. “Smart.” Xia can’t help but commend. Knowing she was alive could cripple people’s faith in the Fire Nation’s military.

Sozin’s Comet.

The play was touching on the future. Xia knows what she’s seeing on stage isn’t real. The comet illuminating Ozai isn’t real. But something in her stomach drops and her breath is caught in her throat. Worried eyes make their way to Zuko and she sees him tense with a deep scowl on his face.

She watches as her boyfriend fights for the throne on stage. She watches as he’s burnt away by Azula. Xia thinks they’ll cry for him like they cried for her. He’s their Crown Prince. It just makes sense. Instead Xia feels her stomach drop as the crowd  _ cheers. _ There’s horror in Zuko’s eyes and Xia doesn’t hesitate to hold his hand tightly in hers as the cheers continue.

How could they cheer for the death of a teenager?

Before any of them could even recover, Aang’s actress is already fighting Ozai on stage.

Xia has a sinking feeling she knows what happens next. 

Even then, her heart breaks as Ozai reigns triumphant while her own people cheer for the death of the Avatar and the death of Prince Zuko.

Xia wonders if her father would cheer too.

The walk home is long, quiet, and the air is humid. 

“That wasn’t a good play.” Zuko finally breaks the silence.

“You were right.” Xia can’t help but agree as the rest of the group echoes his sentiment.

“But the effects were decent.” Sokka complimented.

“I feel like they were the only good part of the play.” Xia adds.

“I don’t know, they seem pretty bland to me.” Toph says with the straightest face. 

Xia tosses and turns in her bed for an hour before giving up with a groan. She doesn’t bother to fix her hair. She wears a loose red robe and makes her way to the door. She’s contemplating on checking if Zuko is still awake, maybe they could talk until one of them finally fell asleep. Xia nearly screams when she opens it and Zuko is standing right outside with a fist raised to knock.

A soft smile crosses her face, “You couldn’t sleep either?”

Zuko nods, “I was planning on walking to the beach. Wanna come?” 

Xia happily takes his hand and follows him. 

“How do you always know what I need? Even in Ba Sing Se when I was running away from you...somehow you always know exactly what to do.” Xia muses, looking up at him with a grateful smile. She loves the way he looks in the moonlight. His skin tone really pops against the dark night and the silver light of the moon reflects itself in gold eyes. 

Zuko is really handsome. Even with the scar.

He turns to her with a look of surprise before it melts into a small smile, “I don’t really know anything. But I know you.”

Xia frowns, “You know a lot of things. You just don’t realize it.”

“Yeah well, you always know the right thing to say.” Zuko says before pressing a kiss against her forehead. Xia isn’t sure how many times he’s done that, but her heart still races when he does. 

“That means when we’re together, we’re always right.” She says cheekily as Zuko scoffs with a grin. 

They’ve finally made it to the beach and Zuko puts a blanket down for both of them right in front of a large rock. Xia sits in the space between his legs while leaning into his chest, she loves the way he wraps his arms around her and holds her tight. 

  
  


It’s quiet as they watch the waves, minutes pass before either of them say anything. It’s a comfortable silence that engulfs them as they try to piece together everything that happened today.

“Are you okay, Zuko?” Xia finally asks, because she realizes she hadn’t checked in with him.

“I’ve had better days,” Zuko says after a few moments, “it was tough to watch.”

“I was kidding when I said they portrayed you perfectly. You know that, right?” Xia asks, looking up at him worriedly.

Zuko looks down at worried eyes as she pulls away a little bit to look at him. His heart is racing in the same way it always does when Xia gives all her attention to him. He’s still not sure how he could afford such the luxury of being loved by the perfect girl.

“I know.” Zuko reassures, before pulling her back against his chest, feeling her relax into his hold again. 

“What happens to us when the war ends, Zuko?” Xia asked, while tracing circles into his hands.

Zuko takes a deep breath before asking, “What do you want to do? Where do you want to go?” He lets himself sink into her dream of a world where Aang defeats the Fire Lord and they’re both free to go wherever they please. A world where they both live through the war. 

“I don’t know if my father could look at me after everything I’ve done,” His girlfriend says glumly, “after I apologize to him, I need to find Seiko so I can take care of her.”

“So we’re sticking with Seiko after this?” Zuko concluded.

Xia turns and looks up at him surprised, “We’re? What about the Fire Nation, Zuko?”

Zuko looks down at her surprised, “What about it?”

“The Fire Nation will need a new leader.” She’s looking at him with a serious expression, but Zuko can still see the hope shining in her eyes. They both know what she wants. He wants the same thing.

“I think it’s time my uncle takes back his right to the throne.” Zuko says hopefully, “So where you go, I’ll go.”

He sees the surprise cross her face before the happiest smile overtakes her face, “Are you serious?”

Zuko nods, feeling his own smile slowly take over his face as she turns around fully and hugs him tightly. 

“We can take turns following each other...this is everything I’ve ever wanted.” Xia laughs breathlessly.

From his rapid heart beat, the blush on his face, and the lack of regret on his mind, Zuko has no trouble understanding he feels exactly the same way. 

Everyday, Xia trains until she can barely hold herself up. 

“Have you considered, I don’t know, maybe taking a break?” Sokka asks as Xia breathes heavily, hands shaking.

“No, I haven’t. Sozin’s comet is in a few days and-” Before Xia could finish, Sokka is already placing fruit into her mouth before walking away. 

“I feel like we’re the only ones taking this seriously.” Xia complains to her boyfriend later that night as he helped clean her armor. 

Zuko rolls his eyes, “Tell me about it, Aang always wants to take breaks and they all indulge him.”

“We should really talk to them about that. It’s like they don’t realize the fate of the world is literally in our hands.” Xia continues, “The Fire Nation may already have the world. But I don’t even want to know what your father is planning for Sozin’s Comet.”

“You really don’t.” Zuko agrees. 

  
  


Xia understands how dire the situation is, but she isn’t sure if attacking Aang is the right course of action. Xia wants to cringe at all the debris that litter the halls of the house she spent hours cleaning. But none of that matters now.

What matters is her boyfriend is attacking the avatar. She loves him but Xia really questions what made him think this was a good idea. 

“But why?” Sokka yelled to her as they followed the path of destruction that was their friends.

Xia brushed her hair out of her face, not even turning as she groaned, “I don’t know!” 

She’s right about to enter the house until she sees her boyfriend fly from the doorway and stumble into a bush. There’s a gaping hole in the balcony where Aang stares down at him and Xia can’t help but sigh in relief. They’re both okay. 

Xia can’t help the anger that seeps to her tone as she says his name, even as relief floods her while she scans his dejected form for injuries. 

“What’s wrong with you? You could’ve hurt Aang!” Katara snaps as the group makes their way over. 

“What’s wrong with me?” Zuko scoffs, “What’s wrong with all of you? How can you sit around having beach parties when Sozin’s comet is only three days away?”

The tension is thick and Xia watches the way his jaw clenches as he glares at their friends. Xia holds his hand tightly and even if the anger doesn’t leave his face, she still feels him squeeze her hand reassuringly.

“Why are you all looking at me like I’m crazy?” He finally asks.

“About Sozin’s comet,” Aang begins, “I was actually gonna wait to fight the Firelord until after it came.”

Xia’s eyes widen and she looks to them in shock. No one mentioned that to either her or Zuko. She can’t help but feel a bit betrayed, especially as Sokka looks at her sheepishly.

“After?” Zuko questions.

Aang nods, “I’m not ready. I need more time to master firebending.” Xia agrees wholeheartredly because even her firebending needs work.

“And frankly, your earthbending could still use some work too.” Toph adds.

“So you all knew Aang was gonna wait?” Zuko asked, looking down at her shocked.

Xia quickly shook her head, “I didn’t know.” Before narrowing her eyes at her “friends”.

“Honestly, if Aang tries to fight the Firelord right now, he’s gonna lose.” Sokka explains, before adding “No offence.” when Aang pouts.

“The whole point of fighting the firelord before the comet was to stop the fire nation from winning the war. But they pretty much won the war when they took Ba Sing Se.” Katara says with an apologetic look to Xia, “Things can’t get any worse.”

“You’re wrong.” Zuko says quietly, and Xia can feel the grip on her hand tighten ever so slightly. “It’s about to get worse than you can even imagine.”

Zuko tells them everything about the war meeting, from General Shinu’s report (Xia remembers him, he tutored her in strategy) to Ozai’s genocidal plans. The information is enough to send Xia’s stomach churning. She doesn’t want to think of a world under Ozai or the death of thousands. Her hands are shaking as she thinks of the plan, the idea that the Earth Kingdom-her home for the last three years- could fall. That Seiko, Chief Suzu, all of the people she’s met, their lives could be ended so-

Xia snaps out of her thoughts as Zuko’s hand slips from hers while he sits on the ground. “I’d forgotten who I was.” He finishes, not even bringing himself to look at her. 

Xia is barely listening as her panic filled mind tries to think if she has enough time to get back to Ba Sing Se and find Seiko. But then what? She couldn’t defend the entire kingdom on her own, she couldn’t even defend  Shú Huí on her own.

“What am I gonna do?” Aang asks softly.

“I know you’re scared. And I know you’re not ready to save the world,” Zuko begins, “but if you don’t defeat the Firelord before the comet comes, there won’t be a world to save anymore.”

Xia sees sudden anger flash in Aang’s eyes before he’s snapping at Zuko, “Why didn’t you tell me about your dad’s crazy plan sooner?”

“I didn’t think I had to. I assumed you were still gonna fight him before the comet. No one told me you decided to wait!”

Aang is collapsing on his knees panicking and something inside Xia reminds her to get a hold of herself. 

“Aang, you don’t have to do this alone.” Katara reminds him gently.

“We always knew this day would come, now we just need to pull ourselves together and get ready for another battle.” Xia agrees. Zuko lays a hand on her shoulder and smiles down at her softly. Xia is still terrified but she beams up at him.

“Yeah, if we all fight the Firelord together, we’ve got a shot at taking him down.” Toph says fiercely.

“Alright! Team Avatar is back!” Sokka cheers, “Air! Water! Earth! Fire! Fan and sword!” Xia can’t help but feel impressed as Sokka seemingly produces a fan made of leaves out of nowhere for Suki. 

“Fighting the Firelord is gonna be the hardest thing we’ve ever done together.” Aang starts gravely, “But I wouldn’t wanna do it any other way.”

Xia doesn’t hesitate to join their cheesy group hug. Grinning as Katara prompts Zuko to join in. The moment is only enhanced when Appa tries to join and they all fall to the ground.

And just like that, training continues. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super sorry for the delay. So many things happened in my life that I haven 't had time to sit down and write until now. I hope to get the last few chapters out in a more prompt manner

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Once again this is an expansion of my one shot: Two Years. Cross posted on Tumblr and Quotev


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